The Rat’s Tale Part 3/ Prequel

“You know I’m having a Christmas party, right?”

Diamond asked in a tone that implied not only that she’d already invited me, but that this was a friendship, not a client/ stylist relationship. I thought that was weird, but it was the holidays, and a Mariah Carey tune can really bring the best out of people.

“I didn’t know you were having one. When is it?”

“Yes, girl. It’s on Saturday here at the salon. I posted about it. All my friends and clients are invited.”

I wondered what category she had me filed under. I was about to reply, but she started the blow dryer before I could.

“Okay I just wanted to double check that the glue was dry. You’re done.”

As Diamond finished my hair she gave me what looked like a genuine smile. It was almost unnatural. Christmas time or not, this was getting weird. She’s normally so dry when she’s doing hair and we barely speak … maybe she’s in therapy or something.

“Thanks, Diamond. You always hook me up. I should be able to go to the party, too. I’ll check your page for the details.”

I paid her through her website, tipping more than normal since she’d been so nice, and left.

Now it was time for sushi with my bestie, Janay. I was about to call her until I recognized her car pulling up to Diamond’s salon. She hopped out and looked surprised to see me.

“Damn, girl. We were supposed to do sushi right now, huh?”

“Yes, hoe. It’s Thursday. What are you doing here?”

“Diamond texted me a couple hours ago saying she had an opening for a quick weave and you know I need my hair done! I forgot to let you know but we can just go a little later.”

As annoyed as I was, I understood. You don’t miss an opportunity to get your hair done by Diamond Douglas. Her hands are BLESSED, and she doesn’t even charge that much. I decided I would go home and take a nap until later. My head was already itching, and I had no idea where my rat tail comb was.

“Alright girl, that’s cool. Go get slayed, then.”

Janay gave me a hug and started towards Diamond’s door. I figured I’d ask her about the party.

“Did you know she’s having a Christmas party?”

“Yeah, I just saw on her page. I wanna go. Do you?”

“Let’s do it. We’ll talk more later. Bye!”

We parted ways and I went to go get a quick cat nap before sushi with bestie.

A few hours later I was feeling refreshed and very hungry. Janay and I arrived at our favorite basic bitch reverse happy hour spot, Ra, and immediately started ordering drinks, appetizers and rolls. As we waited on our food, we sipped and caught up on all the latest drama since the last time we’d seen each other … yesterday.

She’s been dating this baby drug dealer and the stories were getting more wild each week. She’s having fun, though and he doesn’t seem to be putting her in any real danger, so I didn’t mind the fling. Sexyy Red was right when she said bad bitches love dudes that sell drugs and drive fast cars, I guess.

“I’m real popular this holiday season. I’m going to Diamond’s party on Saturday, and bae invited me to a Christmas thing Father Mota is having tomorrow night.”

It was at this moment I started to mind the fling. I know this delinquent ass bitch isn’t trying to bring my friend to a Cartel Christmas!

Despite his corny name, Father Mota, the head of the Phoenix portion of the cartel, was a real big deal. A big violent deal. He’s the definition of mentally unstable. If you make him mad, look at him sideways, breathe wrong, or even use a tone of voice he didn’t appreciate, there was a chance you and/or all your body parts wouldn’t be making it home that night. There was no way Janay was thinking about voluntarily spending an evening with drugs, liquor and Father Mota. It was quite literally a recipe for disaster.

She clearly was reading my facial expressions because she started to at least attempt to reassure me that everything would be okay. She said that it was unlikely she would even have to be near Father Mota.

I rolled my eyes and picked up a Las Vegas roll.

“Don’t go, Janay. It’s not safe. If you go, I’ll have to go, and I don’t wanna go.

I looked at her with my most serious expression, but based on the one she gave back, I’d be attending two Christmas parties this weekend.

“You get on my fucking nerves.” I complained as I stuffed the whole roll in my mouth.

After sushi, Janay wanted to hit up Oasis, this hookah lounge up the street, but I was lowkey annoyed she was making me babysit her at Cartel Christmas tomorrow.

“Nah, I would go, but now I have to spend the night cleaning my gun.” I said as I rolled my eyes.

“Breanna, shut up. You’re not bringing your …”

Now it was my facial expression telling her something. I most definitely would be bringing my gun. I don’t play about my safety, but Janay is so carefree.

“Look, I’ll see you tomorrow. Do you want to get ready at my place and we ride together?”

Janay agreed and we both headed home.

On my drive back I thought about the festivities I had ahead of me. I was actually kind of excited for Diamond’s party. An event at the shop would be super cute. I wanted to wear something equally adorable … maybe me and Janay could find another girl to dress up like they did in Mean Girls and Jingle Bell Rock it? Diamond’s post said there would be karaoke. Maybe Clarissa would be down. As I pulled into my complex I decided I would ask them tomorrow.

True to my word I spent my evening cleaning my gun. I’d never done it before, so I had to go on YouTube. It was weirdly relaxing. When I woke up it was shining back at me, and I felt more comfortable with my plans for the night.

Janay came over around seven, and we got ready together. I brought up my idea for the Mean Girls costume idea, and asked if she thought Clarissa would make a good third.

“I think she would make a great third, she can actually sing. You know she doesn’t like Diamond, though.”

“We’ve all had some type of weird interaction with her, but we still keep booking, don’t we?”

“Yeah, for the sake of vanity, we’re not just voluntarily hanging out with her.”

“We literally are. Tomorrow.”

“I mean, yeah. I lowkey like Diamond’s mean ass, though. I think it’s funny.”

I agreed. Diamond was definitely not the nicest, but you could never say she wasn’t quick with that tongue. I just decided to FaceTime Clarissa to see if she was even going.

When she picked up she promptly let us know she wouldn’t be attending. Janay got a kick out of being right, but I was really just trying to make a cute TikTok tomorrow at the party. Any kind of Mean Girls content does numbers.

“Whatever, Clarissa! You don’t know how to take one for the team. I’m getting ready to go to a party I don’t want to go to right now!”

She asked whose it was. When I told her, she got excited.

“Oh my god! I’m going to that too! Tre invited me.”

“What type of miscreant ass hoodlums do y’all be fucking with?? Why are we hanging out with the CARTEL tonight?”

They both shrugged off my concern and threw jabs about my lack of a man. These bitches …

We got off the phone after assuring each other we’d link up later.

Once we were ready, Janay’s delinquent boyfriend picked us up. He said he’d be the DD, and make sure I got home, but I was prepared to Uber back if needed.

Dude was cool, and had a charming personality, but I didn’t trust anyone who worked for Father Mota.

The venue wasn’t too far from where I lived, but it was out in the desert. I’m not gonna lie, they decorated the shit out of that sand landscape. It was truly gorgeous, and not at all what I expected. I loosened up a little, and Janay and I got drinks. Her man told us he had to link up with jefe, but to call if she needed him.

As I was sipping I looked up and caught a quick glance of who I knew was Father Mota. My heart was beating just as fast as he’d appeared and disappeared. I took another sip and forgot about him, knowing I was protected.

Not too long after that Clarissa and her boo Tre arrived. As we were celebrating life with tequila shots I saw Diamond approaching us. I almost choked on my lime.

“Hey, ladies. Damn, this could be a promo pic. Y’all look good in those ‘Dos by Di.”

That was her Instagram name and hashtag. There was a brief moment of awkward silence before I spoke up.

“Oh, what’s up? What are you doing here, girl?”

Clarissa looked irritated. Tre looked like he didn’t know what was going on, and Janay was just pouring herself another shot.

“This guy I’ve been talking to brought me.”

She gestured over to a short man emerging from the bathroom.

So ‘tis the season for a thug boyfriend. I was seriously starting to wonder if there was something in the water.

“So are you guys coming to my party tomorrow?”

Janay poured herself and Diamond a shot and answered.

“Hell yeah! We will see you tomorrow for a fire karaoke experience.”

Clarissa perked up at the mention of karaoke. Diamond excused herself just as her little boo reached our group and they took off in the opposite direction before she could introduce us to him.

“Hold on what was that about karaoke?”

“Oh, now you’re interested. Earlier you said you didn’t want to go to the party.”

“Yeah, but you know I love singing. Is that why you had your Mean Girls costume out when you called me?”

Yes, I already had the costume. Just like in the movie, I do this shit every year. Even if it’s just on social media.

“Yes! So now you wanna come, or what?”

Clarissa agreed, and we all cheered. We decided they would both stay over at my place tonight and practice, and link up at the party tomorrow. I was really excited, and actually happy that I decided to be a part of Cartel Christmas. I didn’t even have to flash my gun.

After a long night of drinking and getting high on weed straight from the cartel, I was on cloud nine and ready to go home. Tre and Janay’s boo had a little disagreement on who should take us home, but in the end we let Tre take us because Father Mota needed Janay’s man for something.

“Let me just order an Uber for them. I was supposed to be the designated driver.”

“I know you not talking about obeying the law. Man, I had one shot. They’re fine.”

There was a slight tension between my friends’ men that I couldn’t understand. Was I imagining it?

I fell asleep in Tre’s car and woke up in my bed somehow. Moments like this, as I was looking at my friends sleeping peacefully, I was happy I splurged on a king size bed.

After I made breakfast we spent two hours rehearsing and bullshitting. We had the routine down, and I was able to work magic on costumes for them. Just as we planned, we parted ways and I told them I would see them at the party.

Halfway through beating my face for the evening, Janay called me on FaceTime upset.

“I wanna invite my man, but Reagan’s bringing hers.”

“Okay, and…?”

What was this girl on about?

“You know he’s a fucking cop! I don’t think bae’s gonna be down with that.”

“Girl, it’s a whole party with a bunch of guests. I think y’all will be good.”

“I just don’t want him to arrest my man if he gets mad or something.”

“Look, it’s fuck the police all day every day, but Jamar is for real cool. I don’t think he would do anything unless he sees you or anyone else in danger.”

I was able to calm Janay down and convince her to bring her delinquent lover.

As I was finishing up my Christmas party look, I thought to myself … damn. I really am a good friend. I fed these hoes, choreographed a whole routine, made their costumes from nothing, and now am encouraging them to bring their hoodlum boyfriends even though I didn’t have a date.

Aloud to myself I said “These hoes are lucky to have me.” in my Tokyo Toni voice.

Once I was ready, Clarissa and Tre were outside waiting for me. Janay and her little boyfriend would meet us at the shop. The whole drive there we annoyed Tre with our wannabe Mariah Carey vocals.

“Damn we look good as hell! We can’t forget to take pictures!” Janay exclaimed as we arrived.

“On her page she said Santa’s gonna be here for pictures. Let’s do that first.”

Clarissa was smart for that. Let’s get pictures in early before we get too faded. Apparently we weren’t the only ones with that idea because Mr. Claus already had a line of people waiting.

As I stood there with my two friends and their dates, I was really feeling the Christmas spirit. I love shit like this. I was even wondering if I had imagined the tension between the guys last night. Just as I was about to get emotional, Raegan, the girl whose man had Janay worried earlier, got behind us in line with the infamous cop, Jamar.

I gave Janay a look assuring her everything was cool. Raegan hugged us all and we fawned over how fine we all looked for a moment before she introduced Jamar to the guys, and herself to Clarissa. For all of Janay’s worry, the guys seemed to click immediately. Jamar was instantly warm. At least to Janay’s date. He gave Tre a halfhearted fist bump, but didn’t make eye contact. Maybe Tre was the problem then … Before I could process what I was seeing, Janay told Raegan about our plans for karaoke.

“We rehearsed all morning, it’s gonna be so cute. I’m happy Clarissa decided to come.”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Reagan inquired.

It was almost our turn with Santa.

“She don’t really like Diamond.”

I cut my eyes at Janay. Why was she being messy and the party barely started??

“Woah, not too much on my girl.” Reagan said.

Janay fumbled over her words. Santa looked uncomfortable.

“That’s my girl too, I’m just saying.”

Almost out of thin air, Diamond appeared.

“If you don’t like me, Clarissa, please feel free to leave.”

She said Clarissa’s name in a way that made us feel like she could be talking to any of us.

That’s why Clarissa’s jaw wasn’t the only one wide open.

“Say less.”

She signaled to Tre and they both left abruptly.

The only thing you could hear was All I Want for Christmas.

Diamond walked away and Janay went after her. Raegan and I just stared at each other for a moment. The guys did the same.

I felt bad for Diamond. I know she was really trying with this party. I would have to talk to her after she came back with Janay. I didn’t want her thinking I felt the same way Clarissa did. I also decided I would call Clarissa later, and just focus on my current situation.

At this point it was my turn with Santa, who was actually quite small for his character, so I took some solo shots, and then some with Reagan. Somehow the conversation turned into us discussing the karaoke performance we had planned, and Raegan volunteering to replace Clarissa. Luckily, every girl our age was obsessed with Mean Girls and knows at least enough of the choreography to make something shake.

After Janay and Diamond had rejoined the group, and we had taken pictures together, I looked for an opportunity to talk to Diamond, but she was so busy running the party.

Once it was time for me and the girls to perform, I was already drunk as hell off of her holiday punch. Earlier I had been worried I would mess up, or that Raegan would throw us off, but by the time we were up, so was my liquid courage. It all ended up working out beautifully.

Everyone thought we ate, and some overly enthusiastic guy even made it rain on us. Janay wanted to get down on her knees and collect the money, and lowkey I did too, but of course baby drug dealer boyfriend wasn’t having it. He said he’d give us twice that to not pick it up and we thought that was hilarious. Lucky for him, we were so drunk that if we got down, we wouldn’t have made it up. Diamond ended up coming in to sweep it all up and we told her to keep it as a Christmas present.

At this point she was hinting that the party was over, and even though we didn’t have to go home, we did have to get the hell out of her shop. My intoxicated mind, as fuzzy as it was, still was persisting on clearing the air with her.

“Hey, Diamond. About earlier ... about Clarissa … ”

As I was gathering my slurred words, Janay’s boo, who I was at this moment realizing had a name I did not know, came up and let me know Janay had thrown up, and it was time to go if I needed a ride.

Diamond spoke up before I could.

“Don’t worry about it, Bre. Me and Santa know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice.”

She gave me another seemingly genuine, but truly unnatural smile, similar to the one I’d seen the other day and waved me goodbye.

“Merry Christmas, Diamond.” I said.