Abandonment is Not Part of Love

There is nothing more painful than suffering emotional abandonment from the people we love the most. It can be cruel to feel invisible and full of questions that never have a valid answer, unless it is something to add to the guilt that we inevitably end up feeling.

These behaviors never settle with any kind of warning or prior indication; they come silently and devastatingly, play with us, and make us feel like an inanimate being. There is nothing more cruel than an inanimate being without understanding of what is going on and burdened with guilt that it clings to in order to justify the harm it receives.

This being has all the symptoms of someone who lacks self-esteem and has a strong emotional dependence, as it ends up allowing this to happen, often losing its dignity and self-respect.

However, sometimes these factors are not always the ones that stand out the most when there is emotional abandonment, as the surprise, trust in the other, and not understanding such a sudden change do not allow for any other immediate reaction. Being an option for someone who is a priority is an obvious imbalance in a relationship, placing all the value on the one who feels like a priority and none on the one who is an option.

It can be painful to see someone suffer from this kind of behavior, and this emotion is even stronger for those who experience it. The lack of empathy to recognize the cruelty of such an act is perhaps the greatest factor that allows someone to continue executing this behavior towards others and not be able to see and feel the emotional and vibrational state in which those who suffer from it remain. These are chains that permanently devalue their character and personality and do not allow for the fostering of self-esteem, much less the elevation necessary to understand that nobody deserves to be treated this way, not even an enemy, let alone someone who is loved and seen as a priority in their lives.

When we don't free ourselves from this, we gradually stop seeing all our qualities and all the value we have, and we stop realizing it because we end up believing more in what others show us than in who we truly are.

Sometimes, some of these behaviors are important for us to correct and even to heal some wounds from the past that attract more of these behaviors from others. However, when the time comes and we realize that there is nothing more to do for the other person to understand the selfishness they practice, the only solution is to break the chains, look in the mirror with self-love, and regain that lost value through our own initiative. No one loses by giving love and uplifting those who are by our side; the one who loses is the one who does not understand the value of the other, as they do not even realize that by devaluing or disrespecting the other, they are devaluing and disrespecting their own being, lacking respect and being dishonest with themselves, as they allow themselves to accept having someone who has turned into their worst version while their own version is just as bad as the other's. The only difference between one and the other lies in the pain felt and the justice of it, as in terms of lack of understanding and comprehension, both are on the same level.

To love is to value; to add more value to what already has value; to take care, prioritize, and often make concessions without diminishing ourselves. Love is a full-time job, not a part-time one where we love and unlove according to our momentary priorities.

As Mario Quintana says, "What kills a garden is not neglect. What kills it is the gaze of someone who passes by it indifferently... It's the same with life; you kill the dreams you pretend not to see."

Thank you for delving into this excerpt from "Lost in My Soul: Conversations With the Deepest Parts of Me." If these words resonated with you, I invite you to embark on a transformative journey through the pages of my book.

Grab your copy now and set out on a path to connect with the most profound parts of your soul.