View from the Floor

As many people here know, due to my previous articles and poems, I have a disorder known as functional neurological disorder (FND). A huge part of functional neurological disorder for myself, and many others, is a type of seizure called psychogenic non-epileptic seizures (PNES). These seizures, while not dangerous, are very disruptive to daily life. They make me feel alone, weak, and not in control of my own anxiety (and other emotions).

In "View from the Floor," Kate Berger talks about her experience with PNES, what they feel like, how taxing they are emotionally, and how difficult daily life is for a patient to go through it.

Reading this book in a total of about three hours was extremely helpful to me, as a fellow sufferer. I never thought of anything that might help even a little. When I read a part towards the beginning, she talks about trying eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and I emailed her asking about how helpful it was. Between the book and the email conversation with her, I decided to ask my psychiatrist and we are now considering it.

Perhaps the most eye-opening part came much later in the book though when she talked about the effect that PNES has on caregivers of the patient. In my many years of dealing with PNES, I had never thought of that. I have been unaware of the pain my parents, friends, and people at work may feel since they can't do anything, the confusion they may have as to why these events occur, and any other thoughts and feelings they might have because of witnessing so many PNES.

One more thing that was extremely helpful in "View from the Floor" was very important though... Learning that I am not alone. No matter how long I go through PNES, or how many people I talk to with it, I always feel alone, like no one else gets it.

After reading the entire book, I started to truly realize how many people are in the community of people with FND and PNES. I realize now that recovery from PNES is possible, even though it doesn't feel like it is. I will absolutely try suggestions from the book to recover from PNES.