Trying to Make it in the Industry

Music has always been a big part of my life. My biological parents are singers and musicians, along with grandparents etc. Growing up I used to perform in every talent show my schools would host. I sang in every choir at church. When I hit teenage years is when I began to explore writing songs, going into the studio and singing background vocals for other performers. I just knew I would be making my living in the music industry along with my like-minded friends. Then.... life happened.

I got involved in a very unhealthy relationship (a story for another time), became a mother at 22, a wife at 23, mother again at 24 and 27. During this time that toxic relationship plus the weight of being a mother of 3 one with special need took over. My dreams of making it in music became nothing more than a distant thought.

Fast forward to 2020 I have been long divorced, single parent, in the process of working 3 jobs and buying my first home... I was hit with an overwhelming sense of grief and depression. I began to evaluate my previous life and when I was truly carefree. My answer was music. But I was 35, in a new state that is not known for their musical talents. Then a new feeling!!! An overwhelming anxiety about performing in front of others. This is beyond stage fright, it was PANIC! I joined an app meant for musical creatives and began there. I slowly began to draw a small following and gained some awesome acquaintances and friendships. 2021 I released 4 singles, and 2 music videos.

It's now 2022 and music brings me joy but not an income. It's actually a costly passion. But I am still too afraid to perform in front of crowds. So, my number one question is HOW IN THE WORLD CAN I MAKE A LIVING FROM MUSIC?! I'm 36 and afraid to perform with little too few connections. But I am determined to make my passion my means of income. So, I am taking vocal lessons to learn how not to tighten my body and vocal cords when nervous or unsure. Researching different ways, I can make a living through music besides being an artist, just in case my age and size are still too much of a factor for the shallow. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out a way to get over this crippling stage freight. It is actually a bit embarrassing to be my age and afraid of what others think of you when you present them with your talents. But how does the saying go? " Remember I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my sh**!"

Surely there is someone out there who was in my position at some point in life. There has to be some modern sucess stories of a single mother, older, no disposable income to invest in mega marketing, plastic surgery, industry level producers and sound engineers, live band, manger etc. A success story of someone who was truly on their own and is able to support their family doing what they love. I have not been able to find one yet. I am still in search. Or could it be? No... not me. Is it possible that I am to be the modern sucess story? Am I to be the one who encourages older creatives with moderate to low income and a ton of responsibilities to handle on their own, that they can still do what they love successfully? Could I be the modern pioneer of the older and talented?

I just wanted to give you a glimpse of who I am and what I struggle with... This story is definitely not over. TO BE CONTINUED...