That Broken Heart

Language is always a barrier, I learned this from a young age. My parents couldn't communicate first is was a language issue, then fighting. Trust me they did that a lot. I ignored it as best I could but, you can only do that for so long. My family wasn't traditional, and we tried for happy.

From a young age I spent so many hours in my hours in my room alone, listening to music. Most of my teenage years was spent going to concerts or writing essays and articles about music. It's always been in my head what I wanted to do, even if the concept becomes muddled sometimes.

My father would play my remixes on his tours, My mother would often go with me to my concerts. (Irresponsible, but she did it because she loved me.)

This is not that story.

This story is one song shared one night changed me. See, I've always had internet friends, because I moved around so much, doing things via the web just made sense to me. I could share it with friends new, old, friends I made in digital forms. No friend was less important because of where I met them or how. Sometimes, the people we meet at our darkest times that help shape us.

This is about "Stay" by Deadmau5 (feat. Colleen D'Agostino) shown to me by my friend Tom. We were going through a rough time as friends together. The song quickly became what we would sing to each other to cheer each other up. Little did either of us know it would change my history completely.

Months after I first sang to Tom I went down a rabbit hole of really rediscovering how to make music. I took Deadmau5's Masterclass. I learned so much. Without that song that drunken night, I wouldn't have moved so much further in my quest to become a musician.

That Masterclass renewed a spark that I thought lost in me years ago. I learned how to really listen music not from a critical standpoint (although having a journalist background can help in creating music.) but from a standpoint of it's made, why it's something is structured that way. Everything I took in makes more clever, and sparks an even greater thirst to learn more.

Sure, I had thirteen years of music journalism behind me, and I'd dabbled in song creation pior. This, however spurred something different. I wanted to further my knowledge. I soon enrolled in Berklee College of Music. Where I'm currently studying today, I enjoy it. Even when things are difficult, Art makes things beautiful for everyone.That's why music is so important to me, making even more so.

Admittedly I do like academics, however I find forum based learning confusing and tedious and counterintuitive to how the creative brain works.

It's been a long twisting journey but I never discount where it takes me. I have loved the journey so far. It will take me further and to places I never I thought it could.

Making music and friendship is about faith. You need to believe in yourself and your ability to communicate a clear heartfelt thought. That's all anyone wants a connection. A musician is lucky, because they can connect and share thoughts with many.

Everyday, even though I'm not as close to my friends as I used to be , I'm thankful for their impact. I'm becoming a closer version of myself and I can't do that without music guiding me, or my friends supporting me. The best advice I can give to anyone is simply this. Never underestimate the importance of that one song, that one night, or that friend. It may change the whole course of events in your life.