Storytime: How Two Men Jazzed Me Without Jazz in Lagos.

When people tell you jazz is real in Nigeria, believe them! Sometimes these people will jazz you without using any real jazz and you too will be moving like mumu. Let me tell you my story.

When I was in SS2, about 15 years old, my father sent me on an errand to buy him soft drink from a kiosk close to our house. On my way back from buying the drink, a strange man ran up to me with his phone and was asking if I knew the place he was showing me on his phone. I told him I didn't know the place but he kept on insisting, telling me to look at his phone. I repeated that I didn't know the place and quickened my steps hoping the man would free me. He didn't. He kept following me and asking.

Before I knew, another man came out from nowhere telling me "Ah ah, you sef help am na. Show him the place." I told the both of them I didn't know where he was talking about, I was just trying to get home.

Before I could know where I was and don't ask me how I got there because till today I don't know, I found myself inside some kind of kiosk abi batcher kind of setup. The two men had been working together to lure me to this place. This is where the story takes a turn.

The first man that had been asking for direction brought out a black box from under a table inside the kiosk. Inside the black box were stacks and stacks of black paper. The man told me that the papers if put into water immediately turned into money. I told him I didn't believe so he proceeded to put one black paper into the water and when he pulled it out, it had become N200.

Now, I have watched enough magic shows and tricks to know that this was probably some backyard magic like I've seen on TV but at the time, I couldn't believe it. The man asked if I wanted a box of paper and thankfully for sense, I told him no I didn't want. But did he let me go? No.

Next thing he told me was if I didn't want the black papers, how could he trust that I wouldn't go and tell the police or report about what he was doing in the kiosk. I told him I would keep my mouth closed but he said it wasn't enough, that he needed assurance. Next thing I knew, he brought out a bowl of water and told me we had to swear an oath.

Surrounded by 2 men I didn't know inside a kiosk, I didn't know how to say no so I agreed to take the oath. The man told me to put my hand inside the water and repeat some statements after him. I don't remember the exact sentences but I remember each one ended with "or I will die". Me I was just reciting rubbish, what was my business.

When we finished swearing the oath, he finally agreed to let me go. Happy, I started making my way out before I was blocked by yet another man at the entrance.

This third man told me he heard people swearing oath inside the kiosk and had come to help me. He asked, "Did anybody take oath here?"

Now I know that all three of these men were working together but at the time I didn't know. So stupid me said, "Yes, they forced me to take an oath."

You guys, this is the part where things get very wild.

Out of nowhere this third man brought out yet another bowl of water. He said to me that if I dipped my hand into the water and the water turned red, that meant that I had been indoctrinated into The Cult of The Seven Serpents or something like that and that I'd die within 3 days. He told me that to break the curse, I had to run home and gather as much money as I could from my parents, brothers, and wherever else I could find so that he could break the curse for me.

When I tell you that I RAN! I ran to my house. Lucky for me, my parents had locked their door so I went to my brother's room where I found only N8,000. I took it and I ran back to meet the man who can you believe was waiting for me outside my gate? (Oh, I forgot to even tell you that when this third man came, he started by asking me "Is your name Segun? Does your father do this? Does your mother do that? And all the things he was saying about me were correct, that's why I trusted him.)

I gave the man the money and after he counted it, he said it was too small, that was that all that I could find? I told him that my parent's room was locked and he told me that he'd come back the next day to collect more.

That night, I was shaking, panicking. The next day, I begged my parents for money and after all my talk (I couldn't tell them about the curse because the man said if I did I'd die), they gave me N2,500.

After my parents left, I went outside and lo and behold, the man had been waiting for me. I gave him the N2,500 and he said it was still not enough. So I told him that he should come back the next day.

That evening, I don't know how I summoned up the courage to tell my brother but I just boned it and told him everything that had happened.

When I told him, he LAUGHED at me! He told me that they had scammed me. That they were just playing with my fear and emotion by using backyard magic tricks. I felt relieved but I was still shaking inside. I decided to just let the third day pass and see what happens.

After the third day, I didn't die. That's when I realized 100% that those men were scammers. I told my parents the next day and they asked me to drive them to where the mens' kiosk was.

By the time we got there, there was nobody to be found. It was as if they never even existed. Their kiosk was gone. They were gone.

I'm just so happy they were only able to take N10,500 from me. Sometimes this 'jazz' people talk about in Lagos, it's not even real jazz. It's just emotional manipulation and sometimes the fear that comes with that manipulation can even be stronger than any jazz they put you under.

Be careful!

That's All.

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Until next time, have a wonderful rest of your day.