Preteen angst Playlist

As the oldest kid in a working family, I spent my middle school years alone. My brother was in school an hour later than me, leaving the house to myself. I was relatively friendless and quite frankly; I was a ball of unharnessed preteen angst and anxiety. The solution? Music.

Born in the early 2000s, my middle school years were spent riding out the end of the Emo trend. Pair that with my vampire obsessed, poetry writing self and exposure to my parent’s hard rock and rap I culminated a playlist I felt quite proud of.

Whether I was blasting music on my (borrowed) iPod shuffle or shuffling through my account on A.O.L Radio (back when it was good) my preteen years were never quiet.

Instead of addressing my teen years as a whole, I’ve taken a snapshot of the early preteen years. Not only to make a more cohesive playlist but also, I’d be here all day if I covered more than that. (Cough..cough...it was also my angstiest years)

Let’s begin with the song that sparked my angst for years to come and set the stage for my taste in music over the next decade.

Miss Murder by AFI

In the days before I discovered online radios, I had always turned to my mom’s iTunes account. That is where I first discovered AFI. It was something dark, artsy about it. It was different. Entering one of the darkest periods of my life, there was something about Davey Havok that thrilled me. Finally, someone who looked different, who sung about the things that people called me weird for finding interesting or cool. I related and after that I became obsessed. Miss Murder has never been my favorite AFI song, but it was my first, like a gateway drug to the emo, punk, and rock that would soon take over my headphones.

Teenagers- My Chemical Romance

Upon signing into AOL I quickly found the AFI Radio. I would spend hours playing it on max volume. Offspring, MCR, P!ATD, The Used, and all of those bands quickly overtook my life. Teenagers stunned me the first time I had heard it. Not only did I find some odd kinship with the lyrics. It was violent, contained swearing, and it was something new. It felt as if I was listening to something my young self wasn’t supposed to hear. None the less, I knew from the moment I found it that I could relate to the music. It made me feel less alone. MCR was never a big favorite of mine, but it has a special place in my heart.

Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down

This song followed me through my ‘emo’ phase. It was playing almost obnoxiously too often on both AOL and Pandora. More nostalgic rather than a favorite, it has definitely burnt its way into my memory and is very reminiscent of those times.

Alone Together- Fall Out Boy

I had a mild crush on pretty much everyone in Fall Out Boy. More importantly, I vibed hard with their whole Save Rock N Roll album. It was catchy, upbeat, and Alone Together was perfect for my sappy, hopeless romantic heart. This song will always have a spot on my iPod and an easy pick on karaoke night.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

I’m not sure what’s more memorable. The fact that my parents HATE Green Day or me singing it loudly while no one was home. Boulevard of Broken Dreams spoke to me on a seemingly soul level. Or at least that’s what I thought. It was practically the angsty lonely teen anthem. It’s a solid song to this day.

Simple Plan- Welcome to my Life

Ah, Simple Plan. No offense to any fans, but this is one of those nostalgic hits I can’t stand anymore. Nonetheless, their songs were so relatable it almost hurts. During one of my depressed phases, I would scream this song at the top of my lungs. The idea of being hurt, alone, and misunderstood is a feeling most teens can at one point feel. With lyrics like:

“Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more

Before your life is over?”

I once was convinced this song was written for me.

Build God, Then We’ll Talk- Panic! at the Disco

At this point Panic! is practically a household name. Personally, I don’t like any of their newer music. No hate, it just doesn’t fit my tastes. On the other hand, anything off the “ A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out” will always be a favorite of mine. If I have to get specific, I’d have to pick Build God, Then We’ll Talk. It’s just so bizarre and puts such a focus on the unpleasant sides of humanity that I can’t help but love it. I would leave this and “There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered…..” on loop. It spoke to my inner rebelling weirdo, and I loved it.

Bloodletting- Concrete Blonde

You remember that vampire obsession claim. Yep, that’s where Bloodletting comes in. Also known as the vampire song, it’s dark, romantic, and gothic. Best of all, it’s about vampires. I used to jam on this song all the time. Back in those days, I honestly thought I had a chance of growing a pair of fangs and end up flying off in the night. It only made me want to go to New Orleans even more. I still love Concrete Blonde to this day and quite frankly it’s songs like this that lead me to goth in my later teen years. It made my spooky Halloween-loving heart so happy.

Reich mir die hand- Blutengel

With dark almost techno beats, gothic themes and completely sung in German it was a precursor too many later music choices of mine. It was the beginning of my diversification from emo to rock, new wave, and foreign music. Containing both romantic and full vampire themes, I was instantly obsessed with this band. I mean, nothing made me feel cooler than being in on something dark and with a music video a little too sexy for my parent’s comfort. I listened to this a lot back in the summer between grade six and seven. Blasting while waiting for my brother to get off the bus from summer school.

Honorable mentions:

Pretty Handsome Awkward- The Used

Monster- Skillet

Pain- Three Days of Grace

Everywhere I go- Hollywood Undead

Coming Undead- Korn

If I Was Your Vampire- Marylin Manson

With Eyes Wide Shut- Bless the Fall

Mortician’s Daughter- Black Veil Brides

Music has always been important to me. It has helped me through many hard and confusing times and continues to do so. Even though my tastes have changed and diversified over the years, these are all songs that I come back to when looking for some nostalgia. Each one has a special meaning to me and has left an imprint on my memories. (Even if most of them are of me playing Primary Games while listening).

Thank you for reading. I hope you’re all doing well. Until next time!