Post Concert Depression - Kpop
The validating truth behind what we all feel and experience
Kpop has been somewhat of a sensation starting to move through the world, not just western culture, but a global phenomenon. It's not simply secluded to just South Korea or Asian countries anymore, it's become something far more than just a sound. Kpop has turned into a culture, a way of life for most of us. It has our attention (and our wallets). Most importantly, it has our hearts.
It doesn't matter which group you've gotten invested in, it doesn't matter what type of stan you are. When it comes right down to it, these groups speak to us on a level that most artists in our country can't really reach anymore. Their music videos are filled with dynamic beauty and stories we try and unravel. Their lyric are soulful and have passion and dedication and hours upon hours of work poured into them.
These groups work hard from a very young age to provide us with what they give to the world. The concerts, the talk shows, the fan meets, the fan signs. All of it comes as a package deal with these idols when it comes to their fan engagement.
But what happens after? I feel that's a subject that a lot of us try and hide due to the stigma, due to not wanting to come off as obsessed or even as rabid as most of the fans you hear about.
Lets face it. When you're holding that barricade, screaming along o the lyrics of your favorite song, time stops for a moment. Life holds a different tune and a different wave length that we're all feeling in those brief hours of time. There's something euphoric and amazing that happens when those shows start. Even the hours before when you're meeting everyone and getting a chance to finally, finally talk to someone about how passionate you are about that group....
Like all things though, those moments are fleeting and after they're over, fans are left with this odd sense of not belonging, this sense of emptiness and hopelessness. They're despondent and feel alone and isolated as they travel back to their small towns and cities to lives that, for a moment, felt like they were larger than life... just like the idols they were existing with in those beautiful moments...
A strange phenomenon happens. Tears are shed and for awhile it almost feels like you're not yourself. That you're not where you want or need to be, that everything seems so slow, and so boring and... sad compared to those magnificent moments....
You're not alone. Trust me, all of us feel that, and it's validating to have those around you feel that way. It's chest tightening and depression inducing to be on cloud nine and so suddenly be ripped away from it. You'll want more time, you'll want to go back, to re live those moments again and again and again until your breath finally stops... until you lose your voice from screaming and cheering and absolutely loving the groups that you do.
It's okay to cry, to let things out, to tell others that you're not okay, because you aren't and there's nothing wrong with taking time to let yourself experience and gather yourself up, and to know that you'll be okay. The hardest thing I have ever had to do is pick myself up after such an amazing weekend when I saw A.C.E back in December 2019. I was VIP for their show, I went to their busking and was front row, and I even lucked out and got into their fan sign. All of that interaction, all of that love and adoration I felt, being recognized and feeling so grateful to have these brief moments in time...
It had to end though, and the entire bus ride back home, all I could do was listen to their music and go back over my videos and photos and cry to myself... for a couple weeks I wasn't okay, but that was fine. I still pushed forward because that's what I know they'd want me to do. That's what I know they'd be happy for. I have to keep going to give them more love and support, to cling on to that addicting feeling of being in those spaces, of hearing and feeling that energy, of being transported to something far, far greater than we could comprehend.
I want you to know. You, who clicked on this. You, who has probably felt this, or is feeling this right now.
You're going to be okay. Cry it out, write it out, breathe and take time to just feel because it makes everything you experienced, everything you felt and saw and loved... it makes it real.