Playlist To Learn After The Burn

Let us start off with Valentine’s Day. Here is a simple explanation. When I think of Valentine’s Day, I think of taking the time or most of the day expressing your love for the ones you genuinely care about. In many cases, people express their love to their significant others. However, Valentine’s Day does not necessarily have to be about romance between a couple. It can be showing love for family members, friends, and even co-workers. I remember when students would give cute cards out to everyone in their class when I was school. That goes to show you that there are different types and levels of love – from friendly love to passionate love.

Then, you have Anti-Valentine’s Day. To me, I feel that it applies to couples – or I should say former couples. When I think of Anti-Valentine’s Day, I think of people who do not wish to celebrate Valentine’s Day for personal reasons. I am positive that there are a lot of people who chose not to celebrate Valentine’s Day even though they never had any hurtful experience with a partner in the past. It could be because they chose not to settle down. Maybe they have heard horror stories from people they know which made them changed their minds about Valentine’s Day. Maybe they have their own personal opinions that have nothing to do with what they heard or seen. Maybe they are deep thinkers and concluded that Valentine’s Day is pointless. There are many different reasons why there are people who are opposed to Valentine’s Day. Personally, when I think of Anti-Valentine’s Day, I think of painful heartbreaks that make you want to not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Therefore, I believe that the most popular reason why people are Anti-Valentine’s Day (or do not wish to celebrate Valentine’s Day) is because of a painful relationship they had in the past. Probably, they were burned by their former partners. Things like infidelity, toxicity, and even mind games.

Here is my short playlist of songs I would like to discuss. Of course, there are more songs that I can name, but these are the songs that I can relate to.

“LOVE BITES” BY DEF LEPPARD – I enjoy listening to this rock band from the 80s. Believe it or not, this is my favorite song by Def Leppard. When I think of this song, I think of emotional detachment. I also think of one-sided relationships. It is painful to love someone while that person does not love you back. It is emotionally exhausting to be the only one putting so much effort into a relationship; it becomes toxic. If you carefully listen to the lyrics at the end, the song is pretty much saying that love is like hell. This song teaches me to move on from something that was never there. If I invest time into something (in this case a relationship) and do not receive anything in return, there is no point in holding on. As much as it can hurt, some things are better off letting go.

“CRY ME A RIVER” BY JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE – This song by the former NSYNC member was inspired by something that happened in his personal life. Let us just say that it involves infidelity and retribution. He was in a relationship with another pop star; I am sure we all know who, but I will leave her nameless. Unfortunately, his former girlfriend had an affair. As a result, he decided to be with another woman. He was so wounded by his ex-girlfriend that he wanted her to feel the pain he felt. Sure, two wrongs do not make a right. However, this song reminds me to be bold and not allow people to have power over me. In addition to that, it teaches me that I do not need the ones that betray me, and I should never show them that I need them after a betrayal.

“JAR OF HEARTS” BY CHRISTINA PERRI – I adore Christina Perri; she has a beautiful voice. “A Thousand Years” was the first song I heard by her. Twilight Saga fans should be very familiar with that song. “Human” is another great song of hers. As for “Jar of Hearts,” now that is a deep song. This song talks about her personal experience in a broken relationship. According to Wikipedia, this ex-boyfriend was considered “ungrateful.” I am sure many of us have dealt with partners who were ungrateful, and I can relate to that frustrating experience; and there are folks who are currently dealing with theirs. I do not know the full details of this breakup. However, when she sings “collecting your jar of hearts,” (I could be 100% wrong about this but) it makes me wonder if this was an on-again, off-again relationship, or maybe this unknown individual had other failed relationships in the past. I am not judging here, by the way. If either was the case, I can imagine the emotional distress from the lack of chemistry in a relationship. It also represents having the strength and courage to move on. Also, it teaches me to set boundaries with people who are untrustworthy.

“THE ONE I GAVE MY HEART TO” BY AALIYAH – This is an emotional song by the late, great Aaliyah who was, in my opinion, one of the best R&B singers in the 90s and early 2000s. She was not called the “Princess of R&B” for nothing. I felt this song was immensely powerful. It is unclear whether or not it was inspired by her personal experience. However, while listening to the lyrics, it did not sound like it was a mutual breakup. Just imagine loving someone unconditionally that you think the person is “the one.” You believe that you guys are soul mates, and the love is eternal. All of a sudden, that person leaves you for whatever reason. That would be extremely heart-rending for anyone to experience. When you love someone so deeply, it is almost as if you are putting that person on the pedestal. I feel that this song teaches me to put myself first, not out of selfishness, but to build myself up. What I mean by that is to make sure that my needs are fulfilled. Gaining the confidence, self-esteem, and inner strength to overcome distressing events would help me be a better version of myself. It is also a reminder to practice self-love, not out of narcissism, but out of worthiness. It is normal to love someone unconditionally and feel that person is the one; there is nothing wrong with that. However, I need to remind myself to know my worth and put myself on the pedestal before anyone else.

The songs that I mentioned are great songs for me to listen to when I am not in the right state of mind to celebrate Valentine’s Day. They give me opportunities to reflect and learn from my experiences. Just because I believe these songs represent scorned hearts and toxic relationships, I still enjoy listening to them. It does not matter if I am single or currently in a perfect relationship. They are all great songs. These songs are reminders that there are different experiences of breakups and different reactions to these heartbreaks.