Physically Far Musically Close

For two summers I’d been living and working on a dude ranch in Wyoming, with just under 20 other people plus the guests. I decided pretty early on that once the 2019 season was over, I was going to go somewhere and be by myself for a bit. Eating with and seeing the same people 24/7 for 6 months and never really feeling like I could be entirely “off,” wore down on me in ways I hadn’t expected, most notably being my desire and capacity to socially interact, and my mental health. So, when the opportunity to come up to my parents’ old home in the woods of Quebec, on 2.5 acres near a lake, I wasn’t going to turn that down. I also felt the need to have time to figure out what I actually wanted to do next, instead of just jumping into the next available job that came along, or moving to the next place without a solid idea of what I wanted, which is how I have lived most of my life. I needed to change that, and I needed to make the decisions without the external sources of noise, however well-meaning the advice was, I felt that I would end up in a similar position as I had. Unsure.

What started as an endeavor to give myself that space and time, will now likely be 5-6 months out of necessity, to keep any friends that I would visit safe, and to prevent turning into a carrier. This is more time than I had hoped or anticipated being this much on my own. I had hoped I would quickly find work, and be able to resume counselling. I wanted to be able to get a dog, a breed that I have wanted for a long time and would finally be in a position to have and have time for, and through the rescue group Malinois Rescue League, who work with shelters in China to save and rehome animals found at the meat market. None of this has happened, for one reason or another. It has not been easy, and like so many other right now, I am having a hard time contending with all of these unknowns. I feel like I’m on pause while everyone else is on fast forward; I at least want to be playing.

Even with things not going how I’d hoped and whatever my brain is telling me I have actually accomplished what I’ve come here to do—I’ve figured out what next; and am figuring out how to make that happen and participating in different trainings. I don’t do well with online training, but it is the only available option right now. I’ve found I fare much better in a traditional class room setting (which is funny, for those of you who know I spent some years being homeschooled), but this is still working and effective; I'm learning.

This has also been a perfect time to tackle reading the complete tome that Is “Why You Like It, the Science and Culture of Musical Taste,” written by Nolan Gasser. I’m still only in part one of the book, but it’s brought some interesting insights, and I trust that the effort I’ve been putting into wrapping my head around musical theory will pay off in later chapters.

So, what makes my playlist, Physically Far Musically Close, the best quarantine playlist? It’s a collection of songs that I’ve put together from some of my favorite artists, with songs that capture some of the big moods we’ve collectively been going through. The focus is on the angst of music from my teens; the murmuring lust that not many seem immune to; motivation that seems to come in waves, as seen in my tendency to listen to modern hip hop; apathy and yearning of emo music; the gathering power of indie and punk; and finally, the stillness within movement that can be found in some country.

Physically Far Musically Close can be listened to in order of the playlist, or it can be listened to on shuffle. I chose songs that I think all go well together, despite their difference in genre, they all share similar qualities that I can’t name yet—maybe when I am done reading Why You Like It, I’ll be able to. I also wanted a playlist that could be played at top volume on headphones, or as background noise, and after testing both of those out, I am happy with the results.

I also wanted to mix genres and artists as much as I possibly could so that people could listen to it and maybe find a new favorite artist. While I use and enjoy the algorithms that platforms like Spotify, Youtube, Apple Music, and Pandora use, to name a few, and the listening habits of people as a whole have been greatly expanded thanks to the internet—I think we’re close to a point where that exposure is reaching a plateau phase. As the algorithms learns, it keeps us in the same genres and tones that it knows we like, instead of the wider-range that we had been experiencing at the dawn of streaming. I could go into detail about how music has always been a part of my life, going to concerts as a teenager most often with my parents vs my friends, the stretch where I didn’t listen to music, getting back into it while In Jackson, Wyoming, where I got to see live music on a weekly basis. Instead I want to focus on some songs I’ve put on Physically Far Musically Close.

My music tastes are by no means far outside of the mainstream, and I tend to binge listen one artist at a time for months. For Physically Far Musically Close, I’ve limited myself to one song per artist. Do you guys know how hard it is to choose just one Hozier song? My hope is that there will be one or two artistes on there that you’ve never heard before, or an artist you have heard of and find that hey, you actually really like this song! There are a few quarantine tongue-in-cheek songs on there as well, such as “Waiting Game,” by Hannah Georgas, “The Idiots Are Taking Over,” By NOFX, and “On the Outside,” off the album Acoustic by Joey Cape and Tony Sly.

While all the songs are worth a listen, there are some I want to talk about more:

Summertime by My Chemical Romance off the Danger Days: True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys album, from 2010. I broke my own rule and I put two MCR songs on there. The other song is "Planetary (G0!)", from the same album. I could have added five more. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit I didn’t even really know about this album until this past January. It started by listening to all the old CDs that got left here, one of them being I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love, from 2002. I wondered what they had on Spotify, and thus I found out what I’d ignored for years. I knew "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)" existed, and while the title reminds me of that one song that I detest the sounds of and got the most radio play off The Black Parade (2006), "Na Na Na (x9 Na’s)" as a song itself doesn’t have the same affect on my ears and soul. Summertime is kind of an all around one for me. Do I want to get stuff done, cleaning while I sing along? Or do I just want to listen and look out the window at the trees swaying in the wind? There’s enough whimsical escapism to the song that it works for both.

The Wildest Things by Kenny Fielder and Trap Kit, released as a single in 2019. What do I do, how do I feel? I was introduced to Kenny Fielder in 2018, with their funny, lewd song Barrel Racer Land. The Wildest Things was a constant listen to on drives down the two-lane highway leading into town, the sun warm through the open windows. There feels like a lot going on instrumentally, but that doesn’t detract from the song by any means.

TMF (The Millennium Falcon) by Austnamelia, released as a single in 2019. It would be amiss to mention this song without bringing up the stunning artwork done for it. I don’t think you can describe the song without using the words haunting either. As of April 30th 2020, the duo has released 5 singles- and every single one of those singles is better than the last.

How to Talk to Girls at Parties is a song released first as a single by cozyboy ft. zubin. It was originally released as a single in the autumn of 2018, and was later put on as the last track of the album A Bedroom Story, released a month later. A staple of music by cozyboy seems to be their use of samples, and I love samples. If “How to Talk to Girls at Parties” makes you think of the short story/comic by Neil Gaiman, part of the inspiration came from there and the film adaptation, which cozyboy mentioned in a Youtube livestream on April 24th 2020, and their love of A24 movies. Quoted from the livestream;

“How to Talk to Girls at Parties, I kinda joke, like people will talk to me about that song- and I’m like yo it’s not a tutorial, it’s an existential question (…) The song should really be called ‘how to talk to people at parties,’ because I just have anxiety sometimes when it comes to meeting new people and talking to people. Like I have trouble talking to dudes, I have trouble talking to girls, doesn’t really matter. That song was like that thing, like you know bravery and bravado (…). I read the short story at the same time I was writing the song, and I was like woah this is the same shit, just different.”

A reoccurring theme of their livestreams and music tracks back to mental health, including their stream with Thomas Reid, who was a collaborative part of the song “Like Crazy,” which released earlier this month.

“How to Talk to Girls at Parties,” like the other music cozyboy puts out is, as they put it, “I kinda call my music relationship music, you know, it’s not really party music or like fuck around music (…). It might seem like that sometimes but it’s really like relationship music. It’s like trying to figure out relationships; with your friends, your mom, your girl, with your boy, your brother.”

"How to Talk to Girls at Parties," is a song that hits on the nuances of social interaction, and I find myself reflecting on how those nuances are different digitally, which is what I am presently reliant on, vs. face to face. And personally, I am a sucker for literary references, which is another reason I like Kendrick Lamar (also on Physically Far Musically Close).

What are some songs that you discovered or rediscovered during this time, either listening to Physically Far Musically Close, or just in general? Have you been participating in the Instagram 30-day music challenge? How have your social interactions changed?