Music Is the Background of My Life

I grew up in the dark corners of Chicago. First the Westside, then the Henry Horner projects, finally the South Side, the worst part of town. I should have ended up a $7 crack whore with nine hundred kids scattered throughout foster care. Yet, I did not. Music made a difference to my soul when I was heading in the wrong direction. Music guided the major projects and decisions in my life.

Whenever I was down, music guides me where I needed to go. When I was up, my music inspired me to do what needed to be done. Music played in my mind bolstering my mental game, making me think of all of the options and possibilities that matched the words. There were seven points in my life when I need music to make a difference for me.

1.My cousin and I played together as teenagers, our voices singing a song that would haunt us all of our days. Marvin Gaye’s “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.”

Songwriters: Nickolas Ashford; Valerie Simpson

The lyrics:

“Ain’t no mountain high

Ain’t no valley low,

Ain’t no river wide enough, baby

If you need me, call me,

No matter where you are

No matter how far,

Don’t worry, baby

Just call my name; I’ll be there in a hurry.”

We sang this each day as we walked up the project steps to the seventh floor carrying baseball bats. The rapists had learned that we would not hesitate to work together to whip their asses if they came for us as we tried to get home. The song was their warning that we were two badass girls headed up the steps. There was much easier prey, so they left us alone after an encounter or two. In our minds, we hoped someone was coming to rescue us from our circumstances, if not, we would protect each other, and we did. The song made it easier to deal with our horrific reality.

2.When I escaped from a pimp when I was seventeen and made it back home: Stevie Wonders “Higher Ground” did it for me. The words swarmed around in my mind reminding me of what I wanted in life. I did not want to stay down in the mud.

Songwriter: Stevie Wonder

The lyrics:

“Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin

I’m so glad that I know more than I knew then

Gonna keep on tryin’

Till I reach my highest ground”

3.When my first marriage became untenable because we wanted different things. Our divorce was amicable. Denise Williams's “I Want To Be Free” played all the time in our house. My spouse knew.

Songwriters: Denise Williams, Hank Redd, Nathan Watts, and Susaye Greene

The lyrics:

“Telling him I’m sincere

And that there’s nothing too good for us

But I want to be free, free, free

And I just got to be me, yeah, me, me”

4.When my mom died, and I was struck into stillness, her favorite Smokey Robinson song helped me make it through another day with "The Tracks of My Tears"

Songwriters: Smokey Robinson, Pete Moore, and Marv Tarplin

The lyrics:

“Although I might be laughing loud and hearty

Deep inside, I’m blue

So take a good look at my face

You’ll see my smile looks out of place”

5.When pushed out of a corporate job I deserved, Destiny’s Child’s “I Will Survive” became my mantra. I put my head down and went to work, eventually getting to be the boss of the initially desired position.

Songwriters: Anthony Dent, Beyonce Knowles, Mathew Knowles

The lyrics:

“I’m a survivor (what), I’m not gon’ give up (what)

I’m not gon’ stop (what), I’m gon’ work harder (what)”

6.When I was granted my first bonus, $10K, my spouse and I danced around to Tupac “How Do You Want It"

Songwriters: Tupac Shakur, Johnny Jackson, Bruce Fisher, Leon Ware, Stanley Richardson, Quincy Jones

The lyrics: “Coming up like ‘a ni **ger in the cash game.”

7.When I met my second husband: Oliva Newton John’s, “Magic” was right for two young people who did not know a thing but that they wanted to be more than what they already were:

Songwriter: John Farrar

The lyrics:

“You have to believe we are magic

Nothing can stand in our way

You have to believe we are magic

Don’t let you aim ever stray”

We ended up Electrical Engineers who took those degrees and never looked back. Anytime we needed something to happen for us, we played our song and knew we were magic. We believed it—our risk-taking paid off for us over and over in our lives.

8.When called in unexpectedly to give a presentation to the CEO of our multibillion-dollar company (a career maker or breaker), I was nervous. My boss, who was supposed to provide the briefing, was very ill. The plant manager did not want to look silly as he did not know the information. That left me. I went out to lunch by myself, brought myself a McRib, and sat in my car playing Tupac’s “All Eyez on Me.”

Songwriters: Tupac Shakur, Johnny Jackson, James Pennington

The lyric:

“Live the life of a thug – until the day I die

Live the life of a boss player

All eyes on me

All eyes on me”

I knocked that presentation out of the park, ensuring that the Senior Leadership team knew me of the corporation. My career got a boost from that interaction. The entire time, Tupuc’s words were in my mind reminding me that all eyes were on me, so do the best that I can. Be a boss player.

The lyrics improved my life. Everyone thinks about what to do about the challenges in their life. When I am challenged, the perfect song will come to me to make my decision-making easier. There is power in words.

When the music is in my mind, I relax; I think of where I am and where I want to be. My spirit sours at the feel of the music. My heart pounds to the beat, and my mind is free. The options spin around in my head as I pick at them one at a time, the pros and cons of each option presenting themselves to me. Not just one time but many times as I play the music over and over in my mind.

I discover what I need to do; then I do it knowing I have made the best choice I could with the information I have. Music has made my life easier. Music had made me what I am today. Music has been my guide.