Losing The Beat

Punk Music Is My Life

You can ask anybody I know, that if I had one true passion, and one true thing that I care about, the answer is always music. Specifically punk and hardcore music. From the fiery lyrics speaking out against corruption and injustices that bring along such a Positive Mental Attitude, to the fast-paced riffs and the slow beatdowns, hardcore/punk is something that has brought me and so many other people together. People from all walks of life, all with their own, different story, coming together to share their love for music. Playing in a hardcore band, and going to see other similar bands has saved my life and shaped me into the person I am today.

Now it is notable that I do listen to (and create) all types of music, and every genre has had an impact on me in each of their own ways. There's just something about the punk scene that I, along with many others, hold so close to home. The energy of both the crowd and the musicians, along with the authenticity that comes with it, it signifies that we are all "one," and that we can accomplish anything as a group, because no one else is going to do it for us. Hence the term "DIY Music Scene."

The Logistics

Granted, there are thriving DIY scenes for every genre of music, all over the world. The biggest difference between most genres compared to punk music when it comes to the crossover between the DIY scene and mainstream labels and/or artists is that most "non-punk" music is more socially accepted, and "radio friendly." This means that if an artist who creates rock, pop, or country music happens to get an offer from a record label, it would be a bigger financial deal because there is just an overall larger amount of people who listen to those genres, which also makes it easier for the artist to make the money spent on releasing their music, along with a profit. Unfortunately, with punk and hardcore, that's not the case. Therefor when punk bands are offered deals with a reputable record label, it's usually on a much lower scale because there is a lower overall amount of people listening to and supporting those bands. Because of this, a good majority of bands actually choose to remain independent, or only collaborate with the labels in their specific scene, rather than "sell out." As a result of this, the bands that do see success don't only see it just because they're talented, but because they receive true support from people who go out of their way to buy records and merch from those bands, and sharing music with others. Most punk bands make the majority of their money from direct supporters, while most big-time artists receive high royalties from the amount of streams they get (along with direct support).

Why It Matters

The hardcore/punk scene has always been a very face-to-face, up close and personal form of music in every aspect. You see a band you've never heard of before and you like them a lot, chances are you're going to look them up when you get home, and maybe even buy a hat or a t-shirt of theirs. Or maybe you're in a band, and you gain new fans because you played with another band and their fans like you guys too. Whatever the scenario, hardcore and punk music is as big as it is today because of word of mouth, and live music creating a chance for bands that are unheard of to be something... Obviously, once Covid hit the US, all of that came to an end very quickly. Now, while I'm not one of these crazy anti-mask, anti-vax people that are crying all over the internet, I was very pissed off about the entire situation and the way a lot of people in the country were handling it. Something that could've easily been a month long ordeal has turned into an almost two year long disaster, all because it somehow turned into some ridiculous political game.

How COVID-19 Struck Me

Anyway, enough pointing fingers. When it comes down to it, hardcore, punk, and music in general was and is all I have to keep me sane in my worst moments, and especially being able to go to shows to sing the words to all my favorite songs and jump around with my friends. The case numbers, the lockdown, and the restrictions in the following months made it impossible to host, or take part in any sort of live music event without compromising the safety of everyone involved, no matter the size of the event. With the exception of a small, private event we had done for a close friend of ours, my band, "Bellicose," had not played a show since February, 2020, up until October of 2020, and then has not played since due to multiple reasons.

In the first half of the Bellicose "hiatus," we were continuing to practice as we would normally do, but without the feeling of looking forward to playing shows, and not really knowing when that feeling would come back, things started to feel like they were dwindling. Both my bassist and I had fallen into a deep depression mixed with and fueled by drugs and alcohol, which ultimately lead to the downfall of our band in its entirety for a short period of time. We both found the concept of being in a band as a chore and therefor had stopped giving our full focus at practice and the two shows we managed to play in the span of those six months.

By March of 2021, we were all fully recovered from each of our downward spirals and started to practice with a purpose again. We even had a show lined up for the end of April. Our bassist, recently exploring new genres of music, had announced that he would be stepping down after that performance. Then, who would've guessed? All three of us had fallen ill to Covid exactly two weeks before our show, and we physically couldn't play. I was furious, upset, and overall just completely bummed out because I had no idea when we would've gotten another chance to play. On top of that, our drummer was dealing with some problems regarding his living situation, and had to move up to Maine. At that point, I've been working on music in other projects for quite some time, and while I am very passionate about everything I create, Bellicose was and is one of the most significant things about me, and who I am. Without Bellicose, I had a backup plan, but I had no idea what I actually WANTED to do, nor how to do it. I was lost again.

New Beginnings

As rough and as overwhelming everything got at times, I knew I couldn't put myself through what I went through just a few months prior. I knew that no matter what happened, I would figure this out and do what I need to do to keep myself afloat. I kept telling myself that no matter how pointless all of it seems, everything that I do now will pay off before I know it. Instead of giving up on my side projects because they weren't my main "forte," I kept writing and recording music outside of Bellicose because not only is it another form for me to express myself in, it also allowed me to gain more practice with my writing, along with my flow and cadence. Now, while I would definitely love to be famous one day, I really just love making music because it's an art that really holds no bounds when it comes to expression, and the happiness it can bring by doing so. Through thick and thin, music has been there for me. Because of that, I made a point to myself that even if I wasn't playing in Bellicose, I was still going to make great music for great people.

Then, before I knew it, I got the text that I had subconsciously been waiting for all along. Matt (the drummer) was coming home. Now, while AJ (the bassist) played a huge part in making the band into what it is today, Matt and I were the only two that were still interested in playing and making music for Bellicose at that moment in time. That didn't matter though. Matt was more than willing to switch to bass and we knew we'd find a drummer/lead guitarist that'd be ecstatic to fill the spot all in due time. It hadn't even been two days of Matt being home before we talked about what's going on with the band, along with what we want and need to do in order to keep things going in the future.

The Bottom Line

Since that talk, we've been practicing several times a week, and have written three new songs. I'm not a person that likes to sit here and say it's all been smooth sailing because all tasks bring their obstacles, but what I will say is hard work, patience, and persistence have all paid off a lot more than I ever thought was possible, and continue to do so every day. It really brings about a new feeling of motivation and ambition that I wouldn't feel otherwise.

Never give up on your dreams and passions. What you're looking for may be just around the corner.