Looking Forward to the Future and the Music That Kept Me Going

2020 started out as a fresh start for me. I had almost no money, but I was blessed with the opportunity to move to Hawaii with my family. As we arrived in this beautiful, hopeful place I vowed to chase my dreams and pursue the things in life that bring me joy.

I remember riding the bus into the city. I had applied for a dancer job on one of the cruise ships and was headed there for an audition. I stared out the window pane and got a text from someone I had met right before I left. His name was Lyfe Kodomo. I remember him telling me he was a musician and he was about to go on tour. I’d kind of shrugged it off. At the time a lot of my friends were musicians and so I thought okay, he’s just another musician. But then he sent me a draft of Que Lo Que. I probably listened to it about 15 times that day. It kind of had Tory Lanez vibes but just made me want to dance and made me happy. Needless to say, I was quite impressed.

Anyways, I got the job as a hula dancer on the cruise ship. But right after that, lockdown hit. The opportunity had slipped right through my fingers. I fought to remain positive. I had no job, but I did have a place to stay. Plus now I had time to work on what really made me happy: Music. But I’ll get back to that. In the meantime, we were just in the early stages of the lockdown and Lyfe sent me another draft of his new song “Quarantine.” It was catchy and I’m kinda surprised more people haven’t heard it considering the situation at the time. It was really crazy, since we’d just moved, and had no furniture in the house, so I helped my mom paint the rooms. Being me, I chose a coral shade of pink for an accent wall in my room. This was the time I had Dani Leigh on repeat. I think she really deserves more credit because allll of her music is amazing and as a dancer I can feel what she puts into it. So obviously, Easy-Remix are on my playlist and Be Yourself. I like the message and positive vibes of course. After we were settled in our home, I got to work on my album. I mean I had nowhere to go, no distractions, no excuses and it was time to just go for it. I had never finished a song before, but didn’t want that to be the reason I never did it. So I just started writing. I recorded my first song Ferris Wheel in my closet with a basic mic setup and anxiously sent it to Lyfe to see what he had to say. He loved it. So I posted it on Soundcloud, and later added it to my album MEL/A on all platforms. I put this one on my 2020 playlist, because it marks the first moment in time where I created something I loved, and was proud to share. I continued writing music and the next song that makes it onto the playlist is Pastel Princess. That one’s my favorite I’ve made so far. Sometimes I have to go back and listen to my songs to remember that I actually like them, as I’m pretty critical of myself. But I’m also grateful for that because it pushes me to be the best I can be. However, I also remind myself that creating art isn’t meant to be about perfection. Those imperfections are what makes art so beautiful.

At this point I was really content in my room, working hard on my album, but I was also starting to feel a little lonely. I hadn’t had the chance to meet anybody before the lockdown and was really craving some social interaction. Thankfully, I found out that one of my old friends from high school had actually moved to Hawaii around the same time I had. It felt like one of those magical moments when your path aligns with someone else’s and we were able to go on some hikes together, and spend time at the beach since things were starting to be a little less strict. But we really liked listening to music with an island flair and Koffee was one of our favorite artists. Our favorite song from her was Toast because it’s upbeat, catchy and talks about blessings for everyone, even though her EP is titled Rapture (plot twist). Then I remember when Pop Smoke’s album dropped we had that on repeat. My favorite was Something Special, and that’s the one that made it on my playlist.

But at this point I was really starting to get stir crazy. It’d been about 6 months now, and I was missing my friends from back home in Maryland terribly, and I’d been talking to Lyfe all this time and wanted to visit him. I wasn’t really happy with how things were going for me, working at a bakery, trying to make ends meet. But I was still grateful to have the opportunity to go to work. But I decided to take a chance, and I took the long journey back home to Maryland to visit my brother, my friends and Lyfe. Was it risky? Yes. But to me it would have been worse to live in that place of fear. That’s where the next song on my playlist comes into play: No Fear by Dej Loaf. Overcoming the fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough, and the fear of not living my life to the fullest. Those are all things that come to mind when I listen to this song. But when I arrived back on the East Coast, it was amazing to see my brother again, my close friends and finally visit Lyfe after all this time. I got to listen to his next album in person. It was amazing. Driving through the city and listening to the album on blast was pure bliss and that’s where I add some more of my favorites to my 2020 playlist: Shyne, Paranoia/Ominous, and Fine Wyne. They’re all real vibey and I like listening to R&B/rap music with a message. Especially when it talks about uplifting women and respecting them.

Quick interjection before I get back to the story. I’m gonna explain a few of the other songs on this playlist and what they mean to me.

Tusa (feat. Nikki Minaj)-Karol G, Nikki Minaj: This song got me started listening to Spanish music, which is amazing to dance to btw. And also once I looked up the translation, just pure female power. I can totally relate to it. Once you’ve been scorned you don’t want anyone to have that power over you again. So maybe you learn how to do it back. But that shouldn’t be the goal anyways. One positive thing about 2020 is that it brought an end to a toxic relationship for me, and I hope that some other people can agree on that (even if it’s a toxic relationship with yourself!)

The Less I Know The Better-Tame Impala: I just like how it’s upbeat and catchy. I remember all my friends and I would dance to this song at the end of a long night before finally crashing wherever we could find. It just reminds me of those times back when we were all together.

No Going Back-Yuno: One of those songs you scream at the top of your lungs. Another song that reminds me of all my friends being together. In times where I felt like we had nothing, but I wasn’t worried about anything, being around all of them.

Jungle-Tash Sultana: When Tash talks about the Jungle it feels like she’s uniting us in the struggle that comes along with life. But also making it feel magical, like we are where we’re meant to be and we aren’t alone.

Dennis Rodman-Lyfe Kodomo: One of my all time favorites he’s made. It just puts you in a good mood and makes you feel like you can accomplish anything. Which is my philosophy on life.

Due West-Skrillex Remix-Kelsey Lu, Skrillex: This song really embodies self worth for me. Which I feel is so important. Especially this year and taking time to get to know yourself on a deeper level. It’s also fun to dance to, which is of course what matters most.

Ecstasy (feat. Jeremih)-Dreezy, Jeremih: I really just enjoy dancing to this song. Not everything needs a deeper meaning. I could just listen to this song over and over.

So now at this point I’d traveled back to Hawaii. I realized while I do miss my friends, I want to continue working on myself and enjoying alone time actually. Because there’s a lot I still want to accomplish. And in order to do that I want to be the best version of myself. But music definitely motivates me to do that. And the desire to accomplish my goals in life and pursue my dreams. And that’s why the last song I added to my playlist is Dream Big, because you might just inspire someone else to do the same.