How Self-Love Helped Me Win Big

‘Once upon a time, when I was in high school’ is a line from a song by The Gaslight Anthem. It’s also the opening line to my true story about a different song by Celine Dion. A song that helped me win big in a small town. It begins with a shy, introverted, skinny teenager walking down the school halls by herself. That was me. And yet I won a very competitive local pageant when I was just 17 years old thanks to some coaching by Celine Dion herself, who through some very cheesy tear-jerking lyrics taught me to find strength from within. It’s easy to read over the mantras like, “I love myself”, or “I am worthy of love and good things”. But it can be really hard to grasp what that really means and put it into practice. So here’s a story to help wrap your mind around the meaning of self-love. This is how self-love helped me win big.

I don’t consider myself old, but when I think about what options I had for listening to music as a teenager it’s absolutely insane. I could either pop a CD into a machine, or turn on the radio. I did the latter option on the daily because it was free and I actually like not knowing what will play next. Every once in a while Celine Dion’s song, “Because You Loved Me” would come on, which was already an old song at that time, but still good. I would actually take the radio into my room to be alone while I listened to it; singing along and almost meditating as I let the lyrics poor into my soul. I didn’t have anyone in my life that made me feel as loved as the person Dion sings about in this song. So I imagined that it was God himself giving me “wings to make me fly”, being the “voice when I couldn’t speak”, or who “stood by me and I stood tall”, etc. You get the point. They’re cheesy lyrics, but stick with me it gets good.

No matter what you believe, we can all pretty much nod our heads at the power of love and how it can truly lift your spirits and make you stand tall. I took these words in the song as my truth and let it fill me up. It’s in this act of imagination, or imagining something to be true that makes positive affirmations and mantras work so well. Entering a pageant that is a preliminary to the Miss America scholarship pageant involves a lot of public speaking before you even win the damn thing, after which you must continue public speaking for an entire year. Could it be because of my silly habit of hiding in my room every time this song came on that I was able to build my confidence up enough to conquer my fears? You bet!

No, I didn’t sing this song as my talent in the pageant. I was much too shy to sing. Ballet was my talent and I was okay with that because it was something I’ve always done and it didn’t involve talking. I did have to talk for the interview, onstage question, and in front of crowds as soon as the next morning after I won. And by the end of my year I was even singing a song on stage before “passing on the crown” as they say. When deciding on a song to sing for my farewell song, Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion was my absolute first choice. After all, that IS the song that defined my accomplishments… but I didn’t choose it. I knew it would make me cry and I would crack and not be able to finish. So I sang a song by an artist that I actually can’t stand. I agreed to sing a Faith Hill song (pageant directors choice) because it was easy to sing and I had no emotional connection to the song, therefore guaranteeing my ability to finish the song without crying. How beautiful would it have been to actually close that chapter of my life with the very song that literally “lifted me up when I couldn’t reach”!

It was incredibly hard to break out of my shell, face my fears and push myself to be my best, but so worth it! If there’s ever a thing you're facing that is challenging you in a way (this can be daily life as it is sometimes) find the lyrics that you need to hear most and make them your daily mantras. A mantra is a statement or slogan that is repeated frequently. Mantras work by rewriting negative subconscious beliefs you have about yourself. Songs make it easy and fun to practice this. So turn on something you wish to be true for you and start playing make-believe. Listen to it as if it was real and let it pour over your soul.

Here’s a snippet of the lyrics from my cheesy, but life changing song. To make it even more powerful, I changed the lyrics from past tense to present tense.

You give me wings and make me fly

You touch my hand I can touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stand by me and I stand tall

I have your love I have it all

I'm grateful for each day you give me

Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I am blessed because I am loved by you