Anti-Valentine's Day OST

Is it sad that when I saw this challenge pop up, I already had a playlist ready to go to be posted?

Valentine’s Day is a day I’ve never really cared about. Not in an edgy, anti-consumerism way, but simply just because it’s a day that doesn’t really resonate with me. It’s definitely one of those Marmite types of days - you either love it and spend the day romantically with your partner, or you hate it and spend the day wallowing in self-pity and anguish like myself.

For the latter it can be 24 hours of truly exaggerated shifting emotions. There can be moments of regret, isolation, solitude, melancholy, bliss and ultimately the eventual conclusion that you “won’t spend next year doing the same.” Whether it’s scripted or improvised, Valentine’s Day is a true blockbuster of feelings of anti-love and passion. You’re the director of this documentary, now allow me to be your composer; the Hanz Zimmer of heartbreak.

I’ve taken the foundations of my previous playlist mentioned above and brought it up to speed with some recently released tracks to add some new spice to your Valentine’s Day sorrows. It’s a carefully articulated score, curated to perfectly cover the full portfolio of emotions on a lone warrior’s Valentine’s Day.

It may not entirely be your traditional “anti-love” playlist, but it’s one that is sure to cover any narrative that Cupid could ever dream up. We focus less on VD itself and more on the journey of getting over our past heartbreak and finding self-love once more. It’s ten tracks that will lift you up during moments of melancholy, let you in during moments of isolation and match your newly thought-up ambitions with a moment or two of bliss. Several genres, several moods - what’s the harm in trying something new?

Act 1: Remorse

Our journey begins with the equilibrium of wallowing. Nobody’s judging if you want to spend a few hours of the dreaded 24 reflecting on the past in regret, and it’s a fine place to start.

slowthai - Thoughts

You’ve got to get everything off your chest when you’re feeling self-pity, and this track is perfect to vent alongside as we kick off our playlist. Rising star Slowthai - hot off of the release of his second studio album - discharges everything on his mind in this seemingly-throwaway freestyle which was released in the run-up to the previously mentioned album “TYRON.”

The track opens with a vinyl-style pitch bend to introduce us to a grime inspired beat and an unsympathetic Slowthai, who immediately gets the listener thinking with the type of philosophical bar we’ve began to expect from him in recent times in “Fine line between love and hate / Don’t know why we divide them.” Within the first line Slowthai pushes challenging ideologies to the viewer. He’s fully loaded with shower thoughts in this fittingly named freestyle, exploring themes of self-confidence and putting himself ahead of others in the first section of the song; a motif that you’ll see throughout this playlist. Controversial lines may instill some concern within the listener at times, but we’re reassured throughout that Slowthai truly has good intentions. He is fully focused on evolving as a person and not letting anyone get in his way, a perfect state of mind to have for a wallowing, directionless lone wolf on a day of depression.

As the song progresses, he continues to break barriers as per usual in his lyrics and tells his own stories for the audience to reflect on. It’s a true reflection on the development of Slowthai as an artist and definitely something that he has been working hard to achieve. Gone is the constantly violent and brash rapper, and in his place stands an urban poet. He tells all of his difficulties in not being able to find his audience and brings pivotal issues of race into the conversation. He tells us that it isn’t about how strong you are, it’s about how strong you can be when you have no other choice. He regrets previous decisions in his life, wanting to go back and right these wrongs. Finally, in a pivotal line, he once again reminds the audience what this whole world is all about - the people that make life worth living. “This one's for my brothers that ain't comin' home.” It’s a perfect blend of self-love and self-confidence while still acknowledging the role we all need to play for each other. Who needs a Valentine’s Date when you’ve got motivation like this?

Turn your back on me?

Tyron won't noticе, he's too focused

I’ve been a big fan of Slowthai for a while now, and I discovered this song a few days after it was released. The lyrics resonated with me straight away. I found myself listening to it on repeat - becoming entranced by the lyrics - and learning them surprisingly quickly. It was the type of motivation I desperately needed during lockdown, and it made social distancing bearable for a few days at least. Come into this track open-minded (even if you aren’t a fan of the controversial Slowthai), and it can easily brute force that motivation in you too.

James Blake & Vince Staples - Timeless (Remix)

We take a trip back to 2016 here with more of a hipster’s choice in the remix of “Timeless.” Originally performed for the first time at Glastonbury 2016, Staples brings the sharp flow and honesty expected from his lyrics to the James Blake song in a remix which adds a deeply emotive rap-verse to the previously monotone song - embedding a sense of regret and despair in an instrumental already brimming with a sense of loneliness.

In its original release on the album “The Colour in Anything,” “Timeless” is a heart-wrenching electronic ballad of mercy. Blake’s gripping vocals are few and far between, but when they come in they hit you like a ton of bricks - with every single word maintaining that pressure and raining down that metaphorical weight onto the viewer. He describes how his former lover seems to come in and out of his life whenever they feel like it and he’s hopeless to defend against it. Inferred meaning shows us that Blake knows that he is vulnerable to her picking and choosing when she wants to “love” him, and that he wants to take his own path in life and “act his age” - yet he just can’t manage to resist to be damaged by this partner essentially using love as her own fun and games. It’s a relatable take on how we can’t resist the desires of our minds and who we love even when we know it is misplaced, hopeless or unrequited. Blake reinforces a feeling which almost any love bird in the world has ever felt, whether we want to admit it or not.

Vince Staples’ verse in this remix is a true game-changer though. Blake takes himself off of the pitch and brings on a super-sub in Staples, pushing some of his own vocals to the side as the hip-hop prospect takes centre-stage. The tactical change pays off, and Staples immediately dives into the types of discourse Blake covers himself - telling the listener the story of how he lost love and in turn lost touch with the world. He uses metaphors of sacrifice as he “pricks” his fingers on flowers and gets motion sick on the “love boat,” sharply contrasting this positive look on life while he was happily in love with the way he “loses his life” once this relationship tails off. Staples essentially tells an honest recount of his mental state around love in a rare emotional performance, admitting how he became removed from reality while in a state of disbelief in his one-way feelings of love - a reflection of Blake’s previous vocals but displayed in a much more personal format by showing just how much of an impact this decline of relationship has had on his outlook of life and his mindset as a person.

I tried to read between the lines without my glasses

Girl I'm blind, I guess we got some shit in common

Ironically, I discovered this song on Blue Monday in 2019. A close friend had just begun to date a girl I had a crush on, and I finally felt that heartbreak that Jim describes to Dwight in The Office. I had a few days where life just seemed to stand still - as dramatic as that sounds for a 16-year-old with a crush that would’ve gone nowhere - and it was nothing like I had ever felt before. I’ll never forget my first hearing of this song, and as a longtime fan of James Blake I was blown away by both his effortlessly sounding vocals and the chemistry in which they seemed to have with the new addition of Vince Staples. This song became my rock in a period of time where I had no idea what to do or feel. My emotions completely paralleled Vince’s in the way he describes being unable to keep in touch with the world, and in turn this song became my rock as I navigated my way back to becoming myself again. I’m certain it could be the same for you when you’re in need of some sort of rap verse basking in relatable self-pity.

ASAP Rocky - Changes

In the calm before the big action sequence of the storm, Harlem superstar Rocky takes the stage with his three-part masterpiece from his 2018 studio album “TESTING.” The ballad’s instrumental ever-changes to reflect his lyrics on the different stages and evolutions of life, telling the audience of a deeply personal story of growing up and making changes in his life.

MGMT join Rocky in the introduction of the track, and the tone is instantly set as Rocky explores the constant need to change both musically as reflected in the three different sections of the song and also to change and move past the traumas of his past life. He explores how his previous lovers have moved on without him and how he has struggled but at least attempted to do the same in what is one of his most personal songs to date.

Pace picks up in the second part of the song, but eventually we return to the slower emotional side of the instrumental. Rocky recapitulates his growth as both a person and an artist with such touching and intimate lyrics. He describes how he had to sacrifice his own personal feelings of love in order to let his partner blossom - he knows it is unfair to keep holding on for his own personal gain and eventually lets go as he agrees to finally change when the song reaches its end.

Had to let your heart go, I guess you need it more

It’s a touching song that I discovered when listening to ASAP Rocky’s “TESTING” upon release, and it’s another relatable track in the way Rocky pours his heart out as if the listener were a close friend - something I’m sure we’ve all done once when we’re finding it hard to navigate our own feelings and need someone else to steer us away from emotional trouble.

Act 2: Rebound

You can’t stay drowning in a pool of self-pity forever, and eventually it’s time for our main character (that’s you!) to take matters into their own hands by bouncing back from their grief - our Todorovian disequilibrium for all of you film geeks. Here are a few tracks to motivate you through this stage:

Tyler, the Creator - WHAT’S GOOD

“WHAT’S GOOD” is the ninth track in Tyler, the Creator’s Grammy-award-winning project “IGOR,” and in true Tyler fashion he guides us through heavy drums and distorted synths on a chaotic quest to epiphany and self-love.

IGOR is a project packed with emotion in a narrative-style which Tyler has become synonymous with over the years with previous projects like “Wolf'' and “Goblin.” This time out, the album arcs through the main character’s relationship - he falls in love, starts a relationship, becomes obsessed but eventually falls out of love. “WHAT’S GOOD” acts as the true turning point in the storyline. In one of the only tracks where Tyler raps throughout, he bigs up his own musical talent and his fashion projects in Part 1. He argues with his partner over their silence as he speaks his mind, and relishes in his own ability; proving his flair as he maneuvers through the aggressive basslines of the instrumental.

For Part 2 however, Tyler enters a state of self-realization. Reinforced with backing vocals from Slowthai, he “sees the light;” a clear contrast with the last line of the album’s previous song “PUPPET” where he seems to be obsessed with his partner and details the lengths he would go to keep their relationship intact. Tyler takes a big change in direction for this similarly-aggressive verse, and instead claims at how much better he is solo. He notes changing his “aperture” in some camera-wordplay as he expands his depth of field and uses his past successes as evidence of his superiority as a solo act. It takes a true anti-love turn and sets the scene for a hawkish bounce back from this relationship. If you’re looking for something and someone to gas you up and inspire a post-breakup rebound, this is definitely your track.

Um...... I see the light

I discovered this song on the day of its release. “IGOR” was released on a busy Friday for me. I had been looking forward to its release from the day of its announcement since I just loved Tyler at the time, but it wasn’t such smooth sailing upon release day. I was balancing the exam stress of my GCSE with issues in my friendship group and my ever-lasting crush on the girl mentioned above. Pressure and mental strain reached an all-time high. The release of “IGOR” dissipated all of this, and gave me a few solid hours of euphoria. “WHAT’S GOOD” in particular helped me to lash out this stress through revision, and I went on to ace my exams come Results Day later that year. Coincidence? I think not. If you want to lash out some of that VD stress, do it to this song in particular. Thanks, Tyler.

Kendrick Lamar - i (Single Version)

There’s no denying that Kendrick Lamar is one of the most talented rappers of our generation, and so it should come as no surprise that he manages to make our playlist. This double Grammy-award-winning track is an up-tempo insight into Kendrick’s perspective on the world, explores his thoughts on the things he sees around them every day.

Kendrick is a rapper well-known for his in-depth and layered lyrics. It’s no different here either, as Lamar maneuvers through the optimistic backing track to motivate and inspire the audience. He jumps deep into social issues almost straight away, as he tackles issues around a lack of self-expression caused as a result of a fear of self-love on the streets of his hometown Compton - pushing the audience to realise their mistakes and persuading them to begin to love themselves.

Confidence seems to be lacking, especially for those single on a day like VD. Lamar acknowledges this. He argues that a lack of self-confidence is one of the main reasons that people never meet their full potential and talent within their lives, and people often feel like they have unachieved which could have been changed if they had the confidence to take that first step into the unknown. It ties in with the overall theme of both this song and our playlist: self-love. Lamar implicitly argues that you can’t expect people to love you if you don’t have the confidence to love yourself in the first place - it may be a cheesy cliche but he’s not exactly wrong.

Everybody lack confidence, everybody lack confidence

How many times my potential was anonymous?

I’ve always loved Kendrick Lamar, and while this surprisingly upbeat pop-inspired track may have been controversial in splitting some of his die-hard fans expecting something more hip-hop orientated, I’ve always had a soft spot for this track. The positivity is truly infectious, telling us to live our lives in any way we want despite the circumstances of our surroundings. I found myself with no excuses to work hard and put effort in when I could easily be motivated by this track. It’s a perfect track for those who want to break the mold and screw the system by being deliberately single on Valentine’s Day. Who needs love when you love yourself?

Kali Uchis - After The Storm

“After The Storm” is the thirteenth track of Kali Uchis’ dreamy debut album “Isolation” and - similarly to how “WHAT’S GOOD” proves a message of self-love - portrays a message of true empowerment post-breakup; the constant reminder that things will turn out fine in the end.

In complete contrast to “WHAT’S GOOD’s” bullish in-your-face attitude though, Kali Uchis instant takes a delicate approach to the ideology. Funk legend Bootsy Collins opens the track with a reminder of the concept of karma and how emotion goes both ways, before Kali picks up the microphone with a verse of bliss which walks the listener through her mindset of how everybody has to keep moving on with their lives no matter the circumstances. The pre-chorus capitalises on this foundation laid out. Kali displays her strength and ambition as she tells the listener to “just look in the mirror” if they need a hero. It’s a classic Kali Uchis track - simple yet layered, casual yet emancipating, liberating yet still down-to-earth. Her chorus then communicates ideas of durability and strength as she reassures that everything will work itself out over time. If there was ever a time to hear such an inspiring message, it’s got to be on a day where we’re hitting rock bottom like we’ve never done before.

A more laidback Tyler, the Creator then joins you for the second verse, with him taking the time to reinforce his frequent collaborator’s message of resilience and essentially thanking her for all of the support he has given him along the way. The weather is used once again as a metaphor for human emotion with the sun acting as happiness, and Tyler claims that “the sun is beaming on” him as a result of Kali’s uplifting messages - with this repeated idea of simply doing your best and staying strong seriously shining through in the bridge as Kali just asks the listener to “try.” It’s a motivating message shining through such a tranquilizing instrumental, a calming yet still education moment in what acts as a slight break in your Valentine’s Day commotion.

And just open your mind

When everything is passing by

Being a bit of a Tyler fanboy as talked about above, I loved every single song he glossed over - and my love for his music soon translated into a love for Kali Uchis’ music too. This soulful blend of calming instrumental with hard-hitting emotional lyrics reminded me of a modern-day Winehouse. I just couldn’t get enough of the positivity Uchis was promoting, and in turn this track is a perfect fit for our Act 2 section. The hard times may be hard, but there’s always something better on the other side - take this motivation and run with it!

Act 3: Reformed

Our narrative ends with the main character eventually learning something from their journey in a new state of equilibrium. Sacrifices may have been made and tears may have been shed, but it’s time to relish in that happy ending we’ve all been waiting for.

Rex Orange County - Best Friend

As we move into our final two songs on the playlist, we reach Rex Orange County’s 2017 single “Best Friend;” a track about the psychological predicaments of unrequited love and the pains and frustrations of still being friends with said romantic interest without them knowing your true feelings.

Right from the beginning of this heart-wrenching narrative, the protagonist speaks of the distancing effects of his unreturned love. While he is surrounded by so many people he can love and trust, loneliness still takes over; a motif repeated throughout the song. The song covers many of these common themes over its course - feelings of loss, the warmth of moving on by yourself and also a sense of nostalgia around finally getting over these feelings for another person - and Rex flip flops between reinforcing these stereotypes and subverting them. When he seems to leave them behind, he falls back to them. He shows that his feelings of love are still present, but his ability to push forward, ignore them and leave them behind in order to finally move on towards the end of the song shows a true development in character and a sense of a new beginning on the horizon for the protagonist. Sound familiar?

The protagonist almost tries to play off some of the more emotional lyrics as a joke too: with cuss words placed strategically to build a jeering atmosphere around love as a concept. While he keeps falling back into the pains of love, he at least escapes these feelings for a verse - leaving these seemingly laughable feelings behind as the song progresses. This sarcastic approach to love is almost your last hurrah of Valentine’s Day moping. Rex sings about the flaws of love and it’ll show you why you’re better off single anyway; a moment of true reassurance as your character arc begins to come to an end.

You need to be yourself

Love someone for loving you instead of someone really cool

Rex has always been an artist I could relate to, and his ability to tell an innovative narrative throughout each and every song has always resonated with me. “Best Friend” is a track that I could relate to in particular, as I feel like we’ve had those moments of unrequited love where a relationship feels so hopeless and unrealistic, and yet we can’t let go of those feelings whatever we do. This track helped me to leave these feelings behind much like Rex does in the song. It helped me realise how much more there is to love and life if you can master the skill of being able to move on, and it’s not necessarily an exaggeration to say that this track was a key factor in completely changing my outlook on life

Foster the People - Are You What You Want To Be?

Remember that moment of bliss I was talking about in the introduction? Allow it to introduce itself. Foster the People’s African-inspired track is one you’ll definitely recognise if you’re a long-time FIFA player like myself, and it’s a criminally underrated bop that will no doubt make you feel like a million dollars (or in this case, 540,500,000 CFA franc).

Right from the get-go, the lyrics point out all sorts of social disputes. The protagonist acknowledges all of the wrongs of our world like war and murder and it becomes an ethical dilemma in whether or not he should call them out. In fear of dying a coward however, the character chooses to address them in a move that reinforces the message of the song: being yourself and making your own decisions.

It might often be easier just to go along with the world and fit in with everyone else, but the lyrics here essentially push the idea that if you don’t take big steps and go against the grain to do the things you want to do, you’ll end up living a life that you’ll regret once you grow older. Once again, it’s a message we can all relate to and engage with. Following the herd with a holiday like Valentine’s Day is cool, but if it’s not something you want to do there’s no point in doing it. Nobody’s judging if you want to spend VD alone. Just do it, and don’t look back for validation from others.

These things ask the biggest question to me

And it's "are you what you want to be?"

While it may not be a true “anti-love” track to fit the brief, it’s the ultimate call to arms for a listener like us who’s been spending the day sitting in self-pity. Are you really what you want to be, your best self? If you’re reading something as sorrowful as this, I’d hedge my bets that you aren’t - and if I’m right, this is the track to put you in the mindset to actually do something about it.

Deleted Scenes

No blockbuster is complete without some scenes that didn’t quite make the cut. There’s no harm in bundling them in on a home release.

Disclosure - F For You

In another FIFA-alumni track, the electronic duo Disclosure describe their total infatuation with this person they have fallen in love with; and how gullible they have become in falling for all of their tricks and “playing the fool” as we find out in the chorus. The uplifting instrumental is perfect for our Act 2 - a message directly from the hearts of the Lawrence brothers as they share their experiences in classic Disclosure fashion. It’s a funky track with repeated but instantly earworm-worthy lyrics and you’re simply not human if you don’t find yourself dancing or singing along to the chorus.

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - Reborn

I thought that this track would’ve been way too beautiful to leave out, but sometimes even what seem like the best scenes have to end up on the chopping block to make sure that the narrative flows freely. “Reborn” isn’t necessarily a love track, it’s instead a track focused entirely on evolving as a person and bouncing back no matter what happens in life. It’s a true moment of bliss and would fit in perfectly within the last act - but my ability to waffle on and hit the word count way too early forces it into the deleted scenes section. If you’ve never heard this song and the 10/10 “KIDS SEE GHOSTS” project, I’m afraid we simply can’t be friends.

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I hope that this playlist helps you through Valentine’s Day like it helped me, and remember that these feelings of grief aren’t permanent. You’ll find your soulmate soon enough and these days of heartbroken playlists will be a pigment of your past, a forgotten day of your history. We’ll all get there eventually and there’s plenty of time to do so. Don’t rush into things. Keep going. Never give up. Just ask John Cena.