Angst Was Riding Shotgun

Growing up, I would have never been considered a very angsty child. I followed the rules and would have definitely been called a teacher’s pet. Okay, on multiple occasions I was called the teacher’s pet. I lived a sheltered life and had very little to feel moody about. But in the summer of 2001, the state of California gave me a little card that said I was allowed to drive. And everything changed. I put on my cargo pants, slid on my Oakley sunglasses, jumped into my mom’s Ford Expedition, and hit the road. I was in the driver’s seat and angst was riding shotgun.

I would choose one of the many mix-CDs, burned from Napster, that hung in the CD holder on the passenger side visor, slide it into the CD slot, and turn it up! While the music preference of my metaphorical passenger was quite poppy and hip-hoppy, it definitely served as the soundtrack to my needed escape. Whatever was bothering me at the time – pressures from school, sports, or parents, boy problems or girl drama – it could all be temporarily silenced with a good drive and sing-a-long.

Some of the music was geared to my newfound freedom behind the wheel:

Ride Wit Me – Nelly

Oh! The beat, the rap break, this was definitely a window down, arm out, rolling with the beat type of song. And the unedited version was a must. The bleeped words were the ones to sing the loudest.

Drive – Incubus

This one was for the chill drive. The times I just wanted to relax and glide along the road, leaving all my troubles behind. Whatever tomorrow brings…I was ready to find out.

Other songs that got me through that time were those with the strong girl power vibe:

Independent Women – Destiny’s Child

Ha! I was sixteen! I had not bought my house, my car, nor did I have any rocks to speak of, but this was my jam. I was a grown-up, damnit. I was a free, strong, independent woman. Ha! The joy of teenaged naiveté.

There You Go – Pink

Ah, the ultimate break-up song of the year. For someone who had very little experience in the relationship department at the time, Pink was my model for how to deal with an eventual end to a relationship. I wasn’t going to let some guy hurt me. I was going to drive off on a motorcycle, a badass chick, leaving the man behind.

Let Me Blow Ya Mind – Eve ft. Gwen Stefani

This one had a beat you could car dance to and a great, kick ass duo of women that were the model of girl power. I only wished I could pull off Gwen’s sequined beret look.

And then, because I was a girl of the 90s/2000s, a few boy band anthems were a must:

Bye Bye Bye – ‘N Sync

Okay, maybe this was the ultimate break-up song of the year. I knew the dance, knew the lyrics, and sang them over and over and over. I also secretly hated whoever it was that had hurt JC so much. Forget Justin and his noodle hair, I was a JC girl.

Hanging by a Moment – Lifehouse

This one starts chill, but quickly turns desperate and angsty. This was for my moments when I was hopelessly romantic and on the miserable end of unrequited love.

These days, I don’t have many opportunities for solo driving. And rather than angst in the passenger seat, I have a diaper bag, extra snacks, and a collection of construction truck toys (and an extra-large coffee in the cupholder). So, when I want to escape to those times of teenaged freedom, I strap my kids into their car seats, turn the music up, take the long route to the playground, doing a few extra laps on the side streets, and sing along to those songs of my teen angst playlist (only now, it is the edited versions and the bleeped words aren't sung so loudly).