Angst, Angst Baby.

I'm one of "those people" - if you're going to do something, do it right. So before I plunged myself into the responsibilities of adulthood with full force, I made damn sure to live out my teenage years with as much stereotypical, youthful, broody, moody angst as I could muster.

Before I lost my creativity for a solid thirteen years to the grind of 9 to 5 office work, I was a dreamer. Ever the introvert, I spent most of my spare time locked away in my study, tapping away on Myspace and MSN messenger while carefully curating my next mixed cd. The soundtrack for whatever turmoil or drama I was experiencing at the time.

My Discman, later iPod, was my constant companion. I had a song for every scenario and there was always some kind of musical happening in my head. I'd often find myself lost in a daydream where I could use that song, or those lyrics to get me out of whatever predicament I was in.

I studied English, Art, Music and Drama. I found my merry band of misfits. I toted my guitar around the quadrangle like the edgy badass I was born to be. I had a wicked music teacher who opened my eyes and ears to so many amazing artists and genres. I lived out my rockstar dreams on the school assembly stage. I wrote bad love letters to my crush riddled with stolen song lyrics that said it all better than I ever could.

With hindsight being 20/20, I'm not sure why I was so angsty. It was the best time of my life. Nevertheless, it held a fairly angry-depressing-emo-punk-grunge-alternative soundtrack that I'm not ashamed to admit still causes me to turn the volume up a notch anytime I hear it.

The best way to truly capture my teen angst in a playlist is to work my way through my musical evolution from ages twelve to seventeen.

2002 - 2003 - The Sk8er Boi Era

Before 2002, things were hard for my pre-pubescent self. I was twelve, I was starting high school, Backstreet was no longer back, and no matter how many times I was told, I could no longer "Spice up my life".

Things felt... Complicated.

Enter Avril Lavigne. The idol for every 12-year-old girl who knew Britney really did just drive her crazy.

Her 2002 debut album Let Go was the beginning of my deep dive into what I used to refer to as 'real music' aka songs played with actual instruments and sung with real voices. Again, to reiterate, I was twelve.

I wanted to be Avril. I started to don baggy jeans and black t-shirts. I learnt how to straighten my hair. I bought a cheap studded belt and used white-out to paint the black pleather in a checkerboard print. I saved up for my first pair of Chuck Taylor's and I begged my Mum to let me start guitar lessons. I even created my first Hotmail email address, which included the words *cringe* rock_chick.

But who could blame me? The lyrics were relatable and the melodies were catchy. I was so determined to be different and cool and this album seemed to be echoing my every thought. I'm still ashamed to think of the time, years later, when I thought it would be appropriate to send my crush the lyrics to 'Girlfriend' when he already had a girlfriend...

From Avril, I moved on to artists like Michelle Branch, "Everywhere" being my debut 'singing in public' song of choice. The songs are all roughly four chords and vocals don't require a huge range, still, when you're almost thirteen, enough to make you feel like a rockstar.

2004 - 2005 - Smells like Teen Spirit

Thanks to my high school music teacher, my horizons started to broaden slightly.

One of the first things most people learn to play on guitar is Wonderwall by Oasis. You get your chord sheet and you go home and you listen on repeat. And oh my, the feels. I could see myself in the corner of the party, casually strumming along only for the cutest boy in the room to notice the broody, mysterious, guitar-playing girl in the corner and fall madly in love and it would forever be our song...

Another simple tune that uses a similar chord progression is Good Riddance by Green Day. A classic accompaniment to every graduation slideshow ever played on assembly. But a great introduction to Green Day none the less.

You might dabble with Dammit by Blink 182 for a bit of light picking practice and start to feel a little hardcore. With each of these introductions, you find yourself exploring the catalogue and making yourself more acquainted with the lesser-known gems.

Then once you've mastered those simple melodies, they hit you with the one that really shakes things up. Smells like Teen Spirit...

Nirvana is the point of no return for an impressionable teen obsessed with the rocker image.

Once you fall in love with Kurt Cobain and learn the tragic story of the talented yet damaged, "never wanted fame", rockstar and begin to mourn the loss of your first unattainable crush that isn't a Disney Prince, there is an obligatory period wherein you are forbidden to listen to anything "mainstream" or "current".

This was actually a pretty great time for me music-wise. I went digging through my Uncle's CD collection determined to find the really good stuff. I discovered an absolute treasure trove. From Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles to Metallica. To homegrown staples like Silverchair and Powderfinger. I had officially entered the angry teenage years.

I found myself drawn to the poets, words always trumping a melody. Rage Against the Machine and Tool found their place, quoting those kinds of lyrics made you feel extra rebellious. While bands like Incubus sat steadily in the background, painting melancholy pictures in my mind as I drifted off to sleep at night. It was Stellar...

2005 - 2006 - The Lonely Hearts Club

I wish I was referring to Sgt. Pepper. Alas, no. There's nothing quite like your first broken heart to rock your fifteen-year-old world. After all, "When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them". Honestly, I wish I'd discovered Taylor, instead, I discovered Emo.

Until this point, I was only 'pretend' angsty, you know, the cool kind of angsty. Age Fifteen to Sixteen was the real deal. The first time I heard Bert McCracken shout "Is it worth it, can you even hear me?" I was hooked.

It wasn't all bad. I mean, the hair was bad, and the eyeliner was worse... But some of the music still has a place on my playlist now. I attended my first "Festival" - Taste of Chaos and witnessed my best friend take a bicycle kick to the chest in the name of hardcore dancing. I saw Rise Against play live for the first time, and they are still staples today.

For the most part, it was fairly harmless, I had the standard Hawthorne Heights phase, but decided that "Cut my wrists & black my eyes" weren't the healthiest of lyrics for an impressionable teen.

I leant more toward Taking Back Sunday and Brand New for my melancholy poetry fix. "You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins" adorned every exercise book I had to scribble in. "There's no "I" in Team" became my official breakup anthem.

Then one day I heard Adam & Andrew's parody "emo kid", laughed at just how much of a stereotype I had become and decided it was time to snap out of it.

2007 - 2008 - Coming of Age

Needless to say, I had my heart broken one or two more times in my teens. And it didn't take long for me to reach the point where laying in the bath sobbing along to sad songs wasn't the therapy I needed. Sure I did and still do revisit my emo days for the nostalgia, but I am so thankful that everything is a phase.

The beats I discovered when I was sixteen and seventeen, in the lead up to finishing school, are still a huge part of what I listen to now.

I lost the uncle whose CD collection I had raided those years earlier, but with his loss, a guardian angel came into my life, and with him a whole new world of music.

I had finally entered the "I'm going to listen to anything I damn well please because it's my life" phase. I was done being cool. I was done being edgy. I was done being emotional.

I started to appreciate any song or piece of music that resonated with me.

I discovered punk, folk, blues and fusions of the lot. The Pogues, Dropkick Murphy's, Flogging Molly, The Ramones, The Clash, Johnny Cash and the Gaslight Anthem soon started to saturate my 'most played.'

I belted Tenacious D from the backseat of the school bus and quietly strummed 'Kiss me' from the back of the music room during free period.

I sang about a lighthouse and how life was peachy for my final assessment. I spent less time alone and more time with my misfits. Because you grow up, and you realise that life won't always be the same, you start to let go of the angst and appreciate the now. All the while creating your very own soundtrack.

My teen angst music evolution can be listened to here.