Valerie Kittell
Bio
I live in a seaside New England village and am trying to become the writer I always wanted to be. I focus on writing short stories and personal essays and I hope you enjoy my efforts. Likes and tips are very encouraging.
Stories (28/0)
Whimper, Not Bang
The most surprising thing to everyone turned out to be how mundane the end of the world was. You would think that an alien invasion from outer space, complete with reptilian Masters of the Universe equipped with laser emitting talons would have been more fraught, and frankly, more dramatic.
By Valerie Kittell2 years ago in Futurism
Meghan and Harry in 20/20 Hindsight
I think it’s absolutely wonderful that Meghan Markle and Harry Windsor managed to find each other in this big crazy world and unite in a marriage obviously fueled by love and mutual admiration; it took incredible courage on both sides. It was so clearly a Cinderella story which captured the imagination of any romantic on either side of the pond.
By Valerie Kittell2 years ago in Humans
Lord Percival's Chicken
Lord Percival was Eugenia Starnes’ elderly Maine Coon cat whose health declined upon the death of his lifelong companion Lady Gwendolyn, a calico mix. Percy was not eating and anyone could see his days were numbered. Eugenia bought all his favorite foods but he ignored them all after a cursory sniff and lick. When things were looking their bleakest, she decided that before putting him down, she would do her best to make him something he couldn’t resist. She thawed some boneless chicken thighs, then bustled around assembling other ingredients which she combined with the meat in a baking pan and put the whole thing into the oven for an hour. When it was browned and bubbling, she took it out to cool on the counter while she left to run some errands.
By Valerie Kittell2 years ago in Feast
The Best Job Ever
I was delighted to get the notification that my resume had been downloaded by WeCanSo Corp. Out of all the companies I had on my target list, they were by far the most prestigious. If they felt that I had potential for their Executive Training Program, I would be notified within five business days.
By Valerie Kittell2 years ago in Journal
Expecting To Be Fired Daily
I once moved hundreds of miles to a new location and decided that while I was making changes in my life, perhaps I would try to transition from successful independent sales drone into management. The reason for this decision was based on a desire to switch up my lifestyle — I was tired of working all hours including nights and weekends and longed for a Monday through Friday 9–5 schedule, something I had never experienced in my entire working history.
By Valerie Kittell2 years ago in Journal
Mom's Imaginary Friend
“Well, I’ve got one for the ages, “ Alice announced. “Your mother has an imaginary friend.” She put her bag of groceries down on the kitchen table and walked over to the end table where the TV remote was sitting, picked it up, and turned it to “mute”.
By Valerie Kittell2 years ago in Humans
When I Say 10 O'Clock
An early life marred by tardiness began with my delivery, in which I greatly inconvenienced my mother not only by being overdue, but by churlishly turning around at the last minute and presenting as a breech birth. Talk about rude and inconsiderate!
By Valerie Kittell3 years ago in Humans
Sunday Dinner With My In-Laws
Ah, it's an autumn Sunday in New England. And because it's a Sunday in autumn in New England, my mind turns to recollect how many of my Sundays here in the past were spent having dinner with my mother and father in-law, Marie and Ed.
By Valerie Kittell3 years ago in Feast
My Brush With Athletic Greatness
I should start off by saying that I am phenomenally uncoordinated. At the age of five, I was drummed out of my ballet/tap class by the stern but kind teacher who said, “I’m afraid there’s not much we can do with her,” to my mother right in front of me as she refunded the not unsizable tuition.
By Valerie Kittell3 years ago in Longevity
