Spirit Path
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I Want To Go There
Where to begin with myself. My thoughts elude me, they fly away faster than I can catch them and put them down on paper. My spinning self is crying for something but is unable to pin point what it could be. I long to fly, to spread my arms and jump from the highest cliff. I feel the wind dancing around my body, to feel the my eyes being spread wide apart and my smile flapping as I cascade further down to a place that does not exist. I feel invincible from up here, I feel my spirit rising, gaining strength, the vail of illusion is dissolving all around me. Never have I felt farther away from all that I knew, while feeling closer to all that it is, than ever before. Clarity of emotion, clarity of connection, clarity of the silly dream world I held so tightly to. I see the dream as a giant stage filled with limit and separation. I see myself acting on this dream world stage, to me, I am all that matters. Every thing that surrounds me is a prop that feeds back information/conformation of of my importance. The longer I focus on the stage the more it becomes a blur. I am filled with fear, my stage is morphing into something my logical brain can make no sense. What are my props and why are they not listening to me, following my unspoken expectations. "Stay in your box!, get back, don't make me think-stop making me have to look at myself." But no matter how much I shout at what I once saw as inanimate objects, begin to move in ways that I have no control. This realization that I have no control, that I maybe out of control, that I can never get back my false control, only adds to the alarming feeling of panic and terror. If I am not this what am I? And what is this? The them, they, the who's, the why's, and the how's, all comes swirling in my brain. My physical self turns into a raging tornado that swoops up, chews up, and spits me back out in the the where. I am stiped of all that I was before. I am understanding that understanding means little my present moment. I am in a realm of feeling. I am in a realm of oneness. I am in a place where there are no need for questions, answers, categories, or judgements. I am. That is all. What I feel is so foreign yet it is as if I have always been here. I feel waves of peace rush over my soul, I see myself, my spirit self dancing as one with all that is. There is no separation, no fear of having to be in control, the words to describe what is taking place do not exist. At once I am stricken with sadness and tears begin to fall from my face. A instant steam of acknowledgement is downloaded into my physicals self and I am shaken out of pure, unconditional love. The information is letting me know that I still have work to do and that I must go back. I cry and pleaded that I do not want to go. I don't want to go, don't make me go, please I beg of you. I can not do it. I do not know how to be in this world. I do not know how to be. I am trusted back with a heavy heart. I understand and can still hear the whispers of the Devine showering me with love and truth. I have the knowing but can not help but to morn for my home. I have been looking for you all of my life. I have needed you all of my life. I am not as strong as you think I may be. I am a baby walking through this world disguised as a grownup. You might think me to be strong, protected, and able; to be capable of being left behind to face more of this life, but what if you are wrong? The second before complete my thought I am washed over with a calm of a deeper knowing. That knowing eludes me, and maybe it always will, but it is that knowing that keeps me here searching, that tells me it is alright, that it does not have to be finished, set, determined-for if it was I may no longer seek to find it.
By Spirit Path4 years ago in Poets
Five Tibetan Warrior Syllables
The Five Tibetan Warrior Syllables is an ancient practice using your voice to tone seed syllables. The Ah-Beginning at the forehead and imagining white light, you begin tone to the Ah sound. While doing this with each breath, imaging that white light clearing out everything in your mind.
By Spirit Path4 years ago in Longevity