My life could have been better but would it have been boring? All the obstacles, hard knocks, and tragedies are probably what kept me going. Every time I was knocked down I got back up. I didn't let them break me.
If you think of a lie but don't speak it, is it still a lie? If you speak a lie without any thought, is it your truth? Can you love something unconditional when all they do is hate without condition. Do you kill someone you love with kindness or someone that's hated. Is beauty only capable of the eye of the beholder because its skin deep or is beauty only skin deep because that is all the beholder is capable of seeing. How can you see everyone's faults but be blind to your own. If turning a blinds eye goes without saying how can you tell?
Eloy my boy, my son, my joy. You left me to wonder why, you chose to leave without goodbye. Your smile your grin and all your silly ways will live in my memory forever and a day. There were times you made me mad, even angry and sometimes sad. Please forgive me, like I forgave you for all the things that we put each other through...The fights in anger now I see the reason now, you we're getting ready to take your final bow. Now I'm left here without you, but I know it's not forever, someday again we will laugh together, Eloy my son until we meet again, I will forever remember you in your glasses with no lens... Your memory will live forever...
I never really gave acting much thought, until this one day that I was going to have to give an Oscar winning performance. It all started one morning in the heat of summer. I got a phone call from my brother. He's yelling that his so- called homeboys had taken his ring. A ring that our mother had given to him before she died. I ask him, what do you want to do about it? In six plane words he says, " I want you to get it" WTF is my first thought, but then I get this fucken crazy idea that I would pretend to be my brother's probation officer. You see my brothers so called homeboys didn't know me, so I had the advantage. I borrowed a friend of mines security badge and name tag and headed to the motel where my brother and homeboys were. Here goes nothing, I get there and knock at the door. This guy comes to the door, he's all sleeved out and sporting a black bandana. I show him the badge and ask for Tony, followed by I'm his probation officer and I'm trying to keep him from going to jail. By this time two more guys are at the door freaking out thinking I'm a cop. I see my brother standing way back in the room, I tell these guys I just want to tell him that he needs to come with me quietly or I would have the whole dept. down there in a matter of seconds. The one that I think is the shot caller tells my brother, look homie we don't want any shit, so my brother sees that as his q to go. As I'm walking with him towards my vehicle, I tell him that I'm going to cuff him and to just follow my lead. I call him a piece of shit for taking his father's jewelry, but I understand that he has an addiction that has compelled him to do such stupid acts. If he just gives me the jewelry, I can keep him from going to jail. I'm saying this pretty loud because his homeboys are still tuning in. So, then my brother says to me, that he thinks he left it on or by the restroom sink. Here goes nothing, I put my brother in the back seat of my car and return to the homeboys. I tell them that they need to stay away from that piece of shit I just put in my car. If they cooperated and handed me the jewelry he had stashed inside, I would not call police back up and they could go on with their merry day. Before I could finish the sentence, the so- call leader hands me two rings and says there won't be any cops, huh miss. I look to him and assure him that they had nothing to worry about, unlike their friend in my car. I thank them for being so cooperative. I turn away and walk towards the car. As I'm getting closer to this ordeal being over, I feel a sense of accomplishment come over me. I also think about it could have gone wrong in a thousand different ways. When I finally get inside my vehicle I turn to my brother and tell him I got your ring back, plus one. Please don't ever put me to have to do something as stupid as I had to do today. This was the first but not the last that I would have to put my acting ability to the test. Leave it to my brother there would be sequels.
Comfort can be found in so many things, like teddy-bears, blankets and wedding rings. For me I find comfort in my memories, of my mother, and loved ones and what used to be. I remember the comfort I felt back then, I wish I could feel that again and again. Now I find comfort in random things, like writing, getting old and god's blessing... Two of those are my Jenson and Lizzy Girl, my grandbabies my comfort, my whole world. Some of life's comforts you can do without but the comforts some lives bring you is endless with no doubt.
I'm here because you gave me life, and in return, I caused you strife. I told you don't worry I'll be ok, but like a mom you worried anyway ... I remember thinking as I was growing up my is beautiful, smart, and tough. I can only hope to be like you, maybe someday that will be true. So many things that I did not say, I didn't get a chance before you went away. Now your gone what can I do... I forgot to tell you, " I Love You" Until the day when I see you again, I'll miss you, Mom, my only friend.
I have this friend that's never let me down when I needed him he always came around. If I needed a ride he would surely oblige if he didn't have a car he would walk me side by side. I knew for a fact that to me he would never lie, he had made a point to tell me he was not that type of guy. Everything he said he said was from the heart, so that's why I believed we would never be apart. In all my life that has been true, it's always been just me and you. It's only you that I have learned to trust and trusting no others is almost a must. Remember, fairweather -friends come with no end, so trust and find yourself to be your only friend.
My Life By The Manuscript
I´m not sure where my life is headed, clarity is not an option.It has become an incomplete sentence with a compound of run on episodes of disapointments. This is where usualy the climax of my life reveals itself.No, not for this kid. I know a little to dramatic for it to happen like that , but it sure does feel like a role I have been playing all these years .I keep waiting for the director to say cut, but he never does. All the bloopers, blunders,wrong lines and or ad-lib are all go ahead and print. There is no doing this over baby, better get it right the first time . I am turning 51 this week, wow half a century worth of takes, hopefully God grants me 50 more I will gladly do them. The first 50 have kept me on the edge of my seat, there´s never been a dull moment . This one is definitely not in the pg or g rating. There has been major car accidents,a house fire , I was hit with a car jack full force across my head,beat to a pulp on Halloween by several assailants, I have been stabbed and shot at as well, but yet I´m still hear to write about it. I choose to believe that there will be a sequel. Hopefully it will be a walk in the park, hell I will settle for a slow jog even. Definitely I will look forward to telling or writting about it.
I pray that my sister will pick up the phone and say how are you doing I missed you, hello. That isn´t quite likely but I´m able to dream It would take a miracle and some angels it seems... For my sister to love me for the reason to be Because she´s my sister but it´s only my dream. She could never look past the fact I´m a junkie to her I´m just a bum a bum with a monkey. Can I not be judged for what drugs I did, I´m still just your sister the one that you hid. Sometimes I remember when we were little...You´ve become an enigma to me and for you me a riddle. It´s really not hard to figure me out but then you didn´t try you were never in doubt...To you I´m an addict not worthy of life, my back would be riddled with you and a knife. Once again, I overlook all your shit because I don´t care what you think not even a bit. Now I´m taking this chance there may not be another. I still love you Sister and forgive you, for killing our mother.
Betrayed by Within
I scream loud but you do not hear me, no matter what I do. You choose to walk right past me like you have not a clue. So now I ask you, are you a friend or a foe I need to know to hold on or let go. Tell me the truth please do not pretend is this the beginning for me or the end... All the voices I heard I will repeat what was said, they shouted don't trust him if you do you will be dead. I am worried now because they said you will attack; I will not stand a chance I better fight back...Who do I trust you or them... But I would not be asking if you were really my friend.
I Hurt No One But Me
I stand right before you trying to be tough .........The tears in my eyes just were not enough. To stop you from saying oh such hurtful things but for you, it´s all pleasure you say it and grin. How can you treat me... the way that you do. I´m your reflection you only hurt you. When will you stop abusing yourself You will realize in time there is no one else. Don´ condemn yourself for things from the past it will weigh on your shoulders like a big heavy mast. Live your life with no regrets aim your stakes high on all your bets. Now you know how you hurt me, I can not be any clearer Remember I am you, a Reflection in the mirror
Was that my Son
Was that my son that passed right by me and spoke no words not even one It looked like him and walked like him but still I could be wrong. But for some time I could not see what my son was soon turning and changing to be.I told myself its just a phase to disrespect me my son no way. Little did I know that soon he would become that poor lost soul How can I reach him now that he´s lost I would try anything at any cost .....Now I know now what must be done to put a stop to whats become My son and drugs are now just one...
My Opinion: A Scary Thought
I have been afraid of different things, like, horses, clowns, and when Tiny Tim sings. I have even cowered when I was alone at night so much that I´d leave on the light. Even some dogs, snakes, and roaches too, have scared me also through and through. All these things have caused me some fright, but not more than what occurred to me last night. The one thing that terrifies me most sincerely is for my sister to unplug me prematurely Is this a real fear you can ask another I say why not she did it to our mother.