I write about Food, Love, Yoga, and health professionally. And poetry passionately.
It's Okay to Live a Life that no one Understands
I don’t have a typical job. I designed my life this way. I wake up at 4 am every morning and write. I struggle. I drink coffee. I watch the sunrise from my desk. I write and then delete it. I go for a walk. I come back and write again. I am a writer. I decided to fully step into the life of a professional writer about seven years ago. I don’t have to leave my couch if I don’t want to. I don’t do hard labor, but I work hard. Most don’t see it this way. Most think I sleep in, watch tv, go for a brunch with friends, write a simple article, press send, and then pop a bottle of Merlot at almost 5 pm. Most hate me for this version of my life that they think I have.
The Human Experience
There was a brief moment this morning. It was right between coming out of my dream state and waking up to my reality. That I remembered who I was. It was a feeling of a true sense of self, a flash of light, a smile that came across my face, the best feeling, that I was doing exactly what I came to this earth to do. Let me explain; for the last few months, I have been a little down on myself. I guess I have been the classical definition of depressed. This happens to us humans, right? External influences, expectations, or opinions of how one should be gets stuck in our cells. Other human vibrations intermingle and push their way into our vibrations to stir everything up. It makes us think or believe that we are not being or doing this life right. That internal pull, of what we are doing and what others believe we should be doing, starts to distort our reality, and depression can occur.
Tap into Your Potential
“The atoms of our bodies are traceable to stars that manufactured them in their cores and exploded these enriched ingredients across our galaxy, billions of years ago. For this reason, we are biologically connected to every other living thing in the world. We are chemically connected to all molecules on Earth. And we are atomically connected to all atoms in the universe.We are not figuratively, but literally stardust.”– Neil deGrasse Tyson
How I Went from $1.60 to $4,000 in 48 Hours in a Foreign Country
Fifteen years ago, before social media, I wandered into a small theater in Portland, OR, where they were showing a documentary called What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? It featured Dr. Amit Goswami, a quantum physicist professor from UCLA who had scientifically concluded that we are all connected. He states that if we could let go of our egos, quiet our minds, and open our hearts, then we would have heaven on earth. He concludes that we are all Gods, connected by a hive mind of consciousness, and along with the laws of quantum physics he determines that it is our collective consciousness that creates our reality.
"Ahum de LeeLa:" To be in God's light. From this, I was named. A simple four letter word, attached to my soul to ripple energy out into the universe. "Ahum de Leela," "Ahum de Leela," "Ahum de Leela." Repeated three times for the mind, the body, and the soul. Repeated throughout my life to remind me that I AM in God's light. (I have a confession to make, as a child, I hated my name, I insisted being called something different. I think that I was not ready to take on the energy that is attached to it.) It took me until college to grow into it and now embrace its meaning and powers.
To Draw in Pleasure
“Mu” means pleasure, “Dra” means to draw in or bring forth. “Mudra” is to bring forth pleasure. Often, while driving down the highway, my index finger will find its way, circling around the steering wheel, and connecting with my thumb. This connection creates a sense of peace that gently settles into my entire body.
I Lost My Mind in the Trees
Ten years ago I lost my mind. I held my knees to my chest in the corner of my bedroom. I couldn’t catch my breath. My chest was convulsing, and I started to cry. I felt like a leaf floating in the air. Twisting and turning with the will of the wind. I couldn’t find my footing. I was dizzy. My sister brought me thick warm soup, and my hands shook as I drew it to my lips. I took a sip and felt the burning on my tongue, down my throat, and into my belly. I put rocks in my pockets and rubbed my hands with warm sesame seed oil. As much as I tried, I couldn’t get grounded. I was fortunate, at this time in my life, to have ten different opportunities to pursue. I had ten different paths which I could walk down. All of them just as good, but the fear set in, as what if I chose the wrong one? What if I walk so far down one path, and it is too late to turn around? Instead of walking, I sat, in the corner and drank soup.
My Life At a Standing Desk
I recently got a standing desk, and it has changed everything for me. I have found that my productivity is higher, my cognitive capabilities are faster, and my stamina is greater. I have sat for the better portion of my life. As we all have. I am a writer, and quite literally sitting at a desk is my job. Over the years, my hips have gotten looser, and my sciatic nerve tighter. I have tried every different desk chair and at the end of the day, I feel like crying. I also suffer from what I call computer shoulder. It's when my shoulders lock-in at my ears, and I have to slowly find my way to the floor for them to relax. It is awful and I was in hell.
"You were born into this world alone and you will die alone."—The Buddha The goal of enlightenment is to keep yourself vibrating at the highest level of love. I have been studying and practicing Ho'oponopono lately and it has propelled me into a blissful state of being. Basically, it's a mantra of "I Love You" all the time. Of course, there is much more than this, but this is the main concept. This vibration links you to the divine, and linked do I feel. I have been getting rockstar parking spots, free drinks at bars, and offers on projects. It seems as if my life is on track. I have finally stepped into my vortex, and life was unfolding just as it should. Yesterday, as I sat in a cabana, soaking in the sun, margarita in my hand, I thought, this is it. I am in my flow and life does not get better than this.