Poetry & Creative content
Just a Black girl creative looking to write and inspire. Poetry, History, Devotion, Entertainment.
…. Still hurts
11.1.23 Some days if not everyday … Some shit still hurts. Depression and past trauma makes it worse. My mind and my heart hurts. Sleepless nights, opportunities missed, damage to my mind and body …Praying and meditating on something that may work. So that I can stay alive but with peace inside on this earth. Trying to remember my worth so that I know it’s okay to be hurt, but to love myself first. Crying many unexplained tears, concealing the painful squeals. Know that you can get through anything especially the shit that still hurts.
To The Women in Hip hop
Females in the hip-hop culture have always held space in the genre for their skill, their trendsetting authentic style and some of the best music to reach fans and listeners everywhere. No matter what records or history that we make over the years, the way that Black women are presented and represented on the music scene [and the props that some may feel that we should not be getting], has become grounds for debate from everyone but us. That is until now, with the presence of social media and the changes that have taken place in the music industry as a whole. We as Black women are all beautifully different in the way that we show up in the world. I call us a special genre of our own. We as women know who we are defining ourselves for ourselves. We know this and yes, we absolutely can. Starting with the music, HerBrownProductions honors a few of the most legendary and influential female hip-hop artists. Whether it be their legacy, lyricism, style or records that make them similar or unique, the women will be honored for their inspiration from each era of hip-hop.
Change begins again
4.3.23 I am ready for something so deep that it changes me, that it unlocks all the power within me. Something that nobody’s never seen in me, a permanent glow that will never leave me. Something that turns me away from all sadness and anger buried deep inside me. All that won’t bubble to the surface at one time because of the pain that comes to mind. The agony that takes over my body as I can’t even breathe because of the anxiety, the “heavy weight” sitting on my chest full of upset. I’m ready for a new chapter that will cause me never to look back because as a matter of fact I don’t want any of that old shit back. I don’t want none of that life that I used to live. I am still angry that I still deal with the same issues from the same people that I did as a kid. The same folks who know how to make me feel small. Although I don’t think about them at all until it comes down to how they’ve treated me and made me feel. I am the main one I know fighting out of the old life that I’ve lived and the old person that I was. I know the cause of mostly all of my trauma. I need something so deep just for me. Something that prepares me to no longer explain my reality nor myself. It’s okay to ask for help but I’d rather suffer in silence by myself than to cut myself deeper from the ignorance in response from others. I have often times discovered that many are disgusted by my survival alone but they have no idea how many times I would have laid down and died just because. The dedication to misunderstanding me has been astonishing. Mentally it makes me stronger when I keep to myself. The softer side of me I’m ashamed to be they can never and could never just love nor accept me as me. Never wanting to accept better from me they just want to use and see the broken me. Astonishing, I’m over translating my soul, especially to those being easily manipulated into the oblivion. A new beginning that completes me feeling safe and healed. Putting myself back in position to win again.