I am 31 years old and my husband is 36. We are trying to conceive. My cervix is posterior, which means sperm can't reach the opening. I want to have a family, but there is danger in pregnancy and childbirth. I am scared. Would I be a good mother? How long would it take me to heal? I have seen so many women in my life give birth to gorgeous babies and yet I am still worried about the pain and recovery time. The US doesn’t have many companies that have paid maternity leave. My husband and I found a fertility clinic and we are meeting with a physician in the end of January. We are still going to go for it because you are never truly ready for anything.
Black History Month is such a big deal, especially in our generation where we have a President who is racist, sexist and really does not care about anyone except himself. Hundreds of innocent black people are killed by police and rarely do police ever suffer the consequences for their actions. Martin Luther King is celebrated in January because of his birthday, but all of our African Americans should be celebrated for the sacrifices they made in order for minorities to have their own voice. Mississippi is still one of the most racist territories of our nation. Interracial marriage was illegal until 1990! That is 28 years ago! I was watching Chris Rock's new Netflix special and he was sharing his experience while visiting Mississippi, as a famous Black comedian, he was scared to be in the environment. We have young black men scared to drive, scared to wear a hoodie, scared to speak because of the pattern of chaos and lost black persons at the hands of police. I am not saying all police are bad. I understand how hard that career is, risking your life every day to protect the innocent and attempt to keep the bad people off the streets. In the day and age of our current terrorism, it has been white men, white men, white men, white men shooting up schools, churches, concerts, movie theaters. Black people ARE not doing this, and that is why I am so perplexed about how in 2018 people can still be so racist and judging of other cultures. Has anyone told Trump that all these terrorists are not Muslim? So many people are hurting from all the misery our country has seen, and those people who are going out and killing others—it is because they do not how to handle difficult situations. Art is healing and that is why so many artists choose to make awareness through it versus violence. Jennifer Lopez and Lin Manuel Miranda made an exceptional music video to support the residents of Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria knocked out all the electricity of the island, leaving people dying of cholera, with no food or water, nothing to help, and our President goes on golf trip after golf trip. Yes it is black history month, but we need to be aware that racism is still here. Afro Latinos have had the same circumstances. In the Dominican Republic, President Trujillo wanted all the BLACK Dominicans killed. Hitler was the not the only one interested in genocide. Everyone knows what Hitler did, how many know about Trujillo? That is the whole purpose of writing and singing poems to share with the world what they should know; our past can predict our future. If I was raised in those times, I would not have been able to play with white girls. I would not be able to marry a white man. I am grateful to be living in the age where discrimination is illegal but it's still such a tender thing and so hard to talk about. So support our young black youth and let them know they are special and it's not their fault that some people will never accept them for who they are.
At the age of 18, I was a freshman at NYU in the Tisch School of performing arts. At age 18, your brain is still a baby, still growing. It is so easy to be influenced by other people. I had a goal of saving myself until marriage, but that did not happen. I met someone, and my first time being intimate, I became pregnant. What a horror! How could something so horrific happen to me? Obviously I knew that could happen, but was mortified. I was 18, my life so ahead of me, what do I do now? I told my parents, they told me to keep the child. I told the man, he told me not to. A decision so tricky.