The silent woman

She was sitting alone. She was so pretty, with her unmade up face, and long brown hair. So natural, so lady like. Looking at my drawing, I expected a voice like silk. I watched her wondering if my impression of her voice was correct. When she opened her eyes I saw they were a sparkling blue. Reviewing my drawing I felt proud that I had captured her personality in my portrayal. but then I wondered, had I? When has someone appearance successfully portrayed their inner self.

She didn't seem to know anybody in the room,and yet she still came. Showing an inner confidence which my drawing did not portray. Drawings of me often have me looking like a shy sheepdog. Yet in this room I was boysterouse with the people I knew. Isn't that the key to everybody. When you are with people you know and feel comfortable with, the real you comes out.

Moments after the event had ended, her husband entered. Her voice was soft when she greeted him, but his was just as quiet. Both of them smiled, showing a comfort.

She made me think of a Cat Stevens song. "Sad Lisa". "She hangs her head and cries in my shirt. She must be hurt very badly." According to my drawing she could be the poster child. Watching her with her husband told me that someones outfits,and body posture can give conflicting messages,and are often deceiving. This couple seemed natural and relaxed together.

I went home feeling like a silent woman myself. Confident but not sharing. Once my friends were gone, there was noone to share my voice with.

Maybe I am the shy sheep dog. The pictures from my trip to Peru, have me with my hair in my face, looking very sheepish. I have these photos hanging in my apartment. I enjoy the photos of the shy girl. Nothing to be ashamed of. Even though I talked more than anybody else on the trip. I had us buy the Peruvian alcohol and ice cream and go to both the food,and craft markets. Like my Aunt Betty Lou told me , you can't get it without speaking up, or making a effort. Silence does not usually get you what you want. But sometimes silence brings peace.

They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but sometimes the squeaky wheel is just annoying. I guess the way we feel internally reflects what we see in others. If I was always rushing around and manic, I would have just thought that she was tired. When I am with people I don't know or feel comfortable with I am often silent., Also if I want to avoid confrontation I hide in the corner. I think that everybody has times when they hide in their own little corner, and strive for their own dreams. When I was little I often felt like Cinderella, in her own little corner. When you get older you have your own spot. For some people it is the backyard, or a hour in the tub.

I think naturally everybody wants to share their personality with others, but sometimes others do not give them the response that reinforces their beliefs or self comfort. When someone clicks with them they will shine. Like it is spelled out in the song "I talk to the trees " from the show "Paint your Wagon. I know personally when I was older I searched in silence for people who support my dreams, even if they are not theirs. Often friends expect you to be duplicates of them. I know I often expect others to have my same values as well. In both of these cases sometimes silence is better. There is no point in arguing with people whose opinion you can't change