The greatest starlights: time to find your inner role model

Rebel Jacky

As a young girl I was mesmerized by the ruling supermodels of that time. Cindy Crawford. Eva Evangelista, Karen Mulder, Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss. Those were just a few of the ruling ladies of the catwalk. Their faces covered magazines like Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair and Harper's Bazaar. Magazines I couldn’t even buy. Sometimes I just almost lived in bookstores to flip through those magazines I couldn’t afford. Perhaps that’s where my passion for writing comes from. Another way to be part of the extraordinary world of the ladies of my imagination.

Next to the glamorous images there was another side of this world. The paparazzi. The disturbing photographs give us a new piece of their beauty, but also steal a part of their life, their intimacy and personal space. As an admirer you don’t realize what you are looking at, because seeing those pictures made me part of their world. Like I was their friend or something, while I was really aware of the fact that I wasn’t. It just was a great way to escape from my own world.

A world that seemed so small at that time, but was enough to give me dreams and ambitions for the future. As a young girl in their teens I didn’t want to be a supermodel even though I didn’t search for model agencies and wandered through the streets of Utrecht and Amsterdam hoping to be discovered as a model. It never happened. Maybe they just haven’t noticed me, or maybe I didn’t notice them. Walking through the cities made me feel like being on my own catwalk.

Even though I knew I wasn’t living the life as a supermodel, I just decided to act like one. Smile. Being happy and dressing myself in the newest fashion without covering too much skin. And don’t forget working out. Imitating their lives was my escape and my savior. It made me enjoy everything I did, every adventure I started. From quitting school too early, to finding a job at a bar and starting my life as a blogger, an online philosophical writer, writing about life and the world. About the joy, but also the moments that worry us.

Time has changed since I started in 1999. We were afraid of entering the millennium and we survived, but everything just went faster and faster. Now blogging isn’t the only way to publish on the internet and I’ve also tried all the possibilities to express myself online, but this is where I’m home. Writing, living my dream like an online supermodel. Just kidding, an online writer and photographer. It’s time to conquer the world now. Even in my forties. Especially in my forties, because now I can reflect on the last twenty years with everything I know now.

I wonder if there were ever people who reflect on the previous decennia that way. The generation of the 90s is the generation who’ve been through it all, from anonymity, the media and the paparazzi to social media where we can be together alone. Everything has changed, we have changed. Let’s see how we can evolve. Is there still room for phenomena like supermodels? Or do we need other role models? Or will this generation be searching for their inner role model? I guess so.

It’s time to cherish the beauty of ourselves, instead of comparing us to the models and artists in the media. We can be our own supermodel. By being fierce, proud and true to what you believe in and what you stand for. If we do that, the world doesn’t need the media to show us their created illusions, because we live it already as the greatest starlights on this earth.

by pherawaty

read more on: Medium / Substack / Verawaty