Sometimes Writing Has To Come First

I used to always believe that nothing should come before family.

Until I started working for myself as a full-time writer.

Before being a full-time writer, I worked as a retail manager in a tourist shopping district, working shifts that would start at 8 AM so that I would have time to go to the bank, restock, and complete paperwork before we opened at 10 AM. I did not leave until after I locked the doors, completed banking and payroll, and refolded all the shirts that were destroyed no matter how many times they were refolded. Most of the time leaving and walking to the train around 9:45 PM. 

My family was always supportive of me and because of my long shifts, I was able to have three days off each week.

However, this all changed when my job took place within my home. 

The first thing that became a point of contention in my family was that they were treating my working from home the same as if every day was a day off for me, asking me to spend time with them, run errands with or for them, and generally be available to bother since I was only sat at my desk. 

I did not mind this, thankful to catch up and spend time with those my overloaded schedule hadn't left much time for, but this was the beginning of my biggest mistake.

For context for this - just know that I have a hard time saying no when asked to do something that will aid someone else so when I was asked to babysit, dogsit, run to the store, pick up medication, company someone to a doctor appointment, I could never say no. 

Until I had to. 

It took a few months for me to realize that working from home, though I continued to work long days as this is what I was used to and able to dedicate my time to - doesn't mean that anybody else respected it or even acknowledged it as me working since I was only down the hall and sat at a desk. 

A continuous argument and strain on my relationship also developed as my partner's days off were never consistent and so I was constantly having to shift around deadlines I had made for myself or abandon projects altogether.  

As my family began relying on me, heavily, to be there, to complete certain tasks or errands, I began writing less and less until there were some days I hadn't even had a moment of the day to look at my computer let alone be able to sit down and write. 

It got to the point that for me to be able to focus and complete my writing goals promptly, I had to do the unthinkable.

I dug out my arts and crafts kit, made a sign for my door - 

and closed it. 

 I also made it a point to change my voicemail message and installed an app on my phone that would respond to all texts with a message that if received meant that I was working until a specified time and unless it was an emergency I was not available. 

I finished writing the book I had been attempting to write for almost two years in only two months. 

I love my family, more than anything, and while I still occasionally cave to their (demands) requests when somebody needs something they treat it with more respect. 

As a full-time writer, content creator, and now a live-in caregiver to a disabled parent. I have learned the balance between making time for my family and giving my dedication to my work this year more than any as I have made it my mission to post consistently and daily across all platforms to grow my author platform as I work through edits of my current manuscript. 

Whether you are a full-time writer, a student, a caregiver, or you work a full-time job it's important that you find the balance between responsibilities and dedicating the time that you can to your writing.

Best of luck, 

B.K. xo xo

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