Lust For Words 4

I missed my own deadline for this edition because I lacked inspiration for a complete theme. Either I had an idea for a theme but not enough poems that fit neatly, or poems that just couldn’t be put into a theme!

And the weeks have rolled by!

To be fair, this wasn’t the only reason. I was hit by an almighty spark of creative lightning over this full moon and spent a lot of time creating and didn’t dedicate as much time to reading as I have in previous weeks. The article I wrote entitled Dairy Addiction, Breast Milk & Attachment Trauma took a great deal of time to write.

I did this in spite of knowing it will prove unpopular (as it strongly refutes popular consensus and is an injection of dissonance). The information contained is too important and I feel less guilty now that I’ve shared it.

I was then drawn into a series of (unrelated to that article) controversial debates that flared up here on Vocal. This triggered a lot of deep philosophical thought about those who take their pain and turn it into anger, prompting The Pendulum to flow to me. It’s a poem that draws not only from what I see in the world but also my own personal experience. It’s very close to my heart and a work I feel privileged to call myself the author of.

After this I intended to return to reading but that inspiration spark just wasn’t finished yet! ⚡️ Although I consider myself to be non religious, I have and continue to be a student of religions. Philosophical ideas stemming from Christian concepts of heaven and hell (as ways of describing realities available to us) have become rather prevalent in my mind over this past year especially.

Marry this to the depth of energetic suffering I feel and witness on this Earth on a daily basis and the result became an outpouring which I titled Mother Nature vs The Devil; The Courthouse Battle. Which just so happens to be my 111 th story here on Vocal!

I was also still having fun with the critique challenge. There are many I’m really happy with but one in particular was the “I Have A Dream” speech by Martin Luther King. Especially as I realised I wrote it almost exactly 60 years to the day after it was first delivered. There is something worth reflecting upon!

It is only upon talking an enforced break from all of the above that I have finally carved out the time to return to complete my beloved column!

So what will the theme be?!?!?!

I realised that I couldn’t see a single tree for having gazed at the forest too long. I’d missed noticing the most obvious theme of all; the personal one.

There have been so, so many poems that I have read recently that give me that feeling you are writing about me, to me. These are the poems that give me a little of that ‘am-I-actually-starring-in-my-own-Truman-type-show?’ type fear!

(oh how I sometimes wish I’d never seen that movie!!)

So without further ado! Or tangent! Let me bring to you just a few of the poems you may have missed. This list could easily have been another 30 poems long. There is so much incredible talent here that it is becoming harder and harder to keep up!

by C.H.Richard

This is a beautiful poem that really touched me. The opening 8 lines describe exactly my journey into the prison I currently find myself trapped inside.

“Seeking warmth. The opulent promise of an easier life. Where she would be safe”.

The window was indeed open and I indeed flew right in. When I stepped onto that Emirates flight to travel here the song playing over the speakers was …Cheek to Cheek by Louis Armstrong. The irony of those lyrics “Heaven…I’m in heaven….” Certainly does not escape me now.

I too arrived in full colour, optimism and hope. Very much seeking safe shelter where I could live quietly, study and heal painful wounds. It’s hard not to shed a tear for the absolute naïveté of my past self. From the frying pan to the fire is the most apt analogy I could offer (outwith this entire poem!) about my past choices. And it wasn’t that long before my world turned to black.

Little did I know that I would end up inside a bolted cage just like that once beautiful bird. Trapped and alone for over a year with little hope of escaping my captors.

This is a beautifully constructed and flowing poetry that hit hard for me and is indeed the one that helped me to realise the theme of this edition should be personal. I too am a poet, after all. I reserve the right to fuel my virtual pen with the ink of tears and stain blood on these pages when I deem necessary.

And just sometimes, the burden of our pain becomes too heavy to bear alone. So we cry and bleed for others to feel with us and together weave golden threads of connection to become the most beautiful Kintsukuroi.

by Poppy the Poet

Poppy is one of my favourite creators here. She has a truly magnificent collection of ever growing work which I sincerely enjoy reading. Dear Narcissist is a themed series (title gives away exactly the theme!) which I (sadly) think almost all of us will be able strongly relate to.

I truly wanted to post the one I read today but unsurprisingly it just made Top Story! Which puts it off my list. However, there are so many of Poppy’s works that still have low read counts and ought not to.

I’m grateful to be at a point where I realise any anger from being in such a toxic relationship is always anger at myself. Anger at allowing myself to be treated poorly. For my lack of boundaries. Or for my abusive childhood that walked me straight down the plank and into alligator infested waters to become narcissistic fodder.

These poems still connect with those wounded parts of my heart (that I thought had healed) and they show me where I still need to bring forgiveness and love home. As many of us will likely feel, they could be written exactly for or about us. Poppy has a superb talent for poetry and (right now) this particular theme.

by Addison M

I can’t remember how I first discovered Addison but I’m really glad I have. Addison is a self confessed newbie to poetry and I would love for more of us to be supporting his early journey (so that we can later celeb drop his name at dinner parties and mention how we were there at the beginning!).

Each of Addison’s poems show the promise of a truly brilliant poet being birthed. This one in particular can even be interpreted as being about that very journey. I don’t want to repeat the comment I just left on his poem (you can all scroll to see it - and let me know if you agree / disagree) but I do want to add a more personal note here as to why this so deeply resonated with me.

After I developed PTSD back in 2020, my skin started significantly deteriorating. It became scaly, thick and plagued with acne. By 2021 it was so bad that I refused to speak to anyone over video call and couldn’t see photos of myself without crying. I hid myself away from the world. Not *just* out of this vanity, but also out of the extreme fear of the outside world that I still carried. I had essentially backed myself into a cage and deliberately lost the key.

The trouble (or blessing) with what we focus on is that it grows. Our focus appreciates the object of its’ attention irrespective of what we want or don’t want, positive or negative. So this skin issue became a horrendous self propelling cycle until finally I said (much like the end of this poem) Enough! I am done hiding.

Ironically, once I did find the courage to emerge - I end up being forced into another far worse cage just a few months later. But that’s a whole other lengthy story!!!

Please do check out Addison and support him. I am certain you will see the same present talent and future potential that I do ❤️

by Talia Devora

I found Talia only today! She had left a kind comment on my page and my process before replying now is to first check whether it’s a genuine account (and not spammer or stalker). I found so much work that appears to have a small audience.

The title of this one stood out to because my biggest prayer is to be on an airplane yesterday. The poem itself is a short, beautiful free verse that perfectly mirrors two things to me. The plight of my present situation - especially the final line!

It also reminds me to a time where I viewed flying as a chore. Rather than having the attitude of appreciation and “I get to fly”, life had somehow worn me into this complaining person who didn’t see the absolute privilege of air travel. It was nice to remember those times so that I could realise how far I have personally flown! I know without a doubt that the next time I step on an airplane I will be singing Cheek to Cheek like a character from Glee who just left the candy buffet.

I also found this by Talia. Which fully speaks for itself. Do you think it’s a coincidence that the first two poems I select to read from her body of work just so happen to be relatable and well composed? I don’t! I have a tab open with her name on it and I’m excited to uncover what other wonderful poems are there waiting!

by Paisley

I’m not sure when I first began to realise to just how black, white and limited my thinking was. What I am sure of now is that I am immensely grateful to each version of my past self who kept expanding and pushing my perceived limits and boundaries. If I hadn’t courageously and lovingly embraced my ego every-time it screamed in pain at having been ‘wrong’ or ignorant, I would not be living with such colour now.

[I am aware that so far I only managed to colour in my prison, but masterpieces take time!!! I’m working on painting my freedom with the new colours at my service 😉).

Paisley doesn’t have much quantity of content but the quality is lovely. It also seems that she has been absent for some time now. I wonder if she experienced what many of us have? The recoil after the perceived rejection. She had a runner up placement in a challenge (amazing!) and do you know how many likes are on that piece? Just one 😓.

Perhaps our warm community can entice her back and encourage her to begin creating again. I think it would be a shame to lose such a creator ❤️✨.

by Oneg in the Arctic

My notifications are so busy right now (which is wonderful…. although!) I’m certain I am missing many gems being published. However “what is for us won’t pass us by” as our elders would frequently recite. And how true that is. I just so happened to be here and checking my notifications as this one was at the top.

The title immediately had me. The analogy of the butterfly and the lotus flower have really helped me to survive these past years. Alternating between hope, belief and knowing that I will emerge from this darkness with my metaphorical (or literal, I am open to having literal) wings and understand how I needed to experience being buried planted (again).

I don’t know if this would have hit me quite so hard if it weren’t for the fact I had just finished reading Ashley Lima’s harrowing emotional, personal story (here), but upon reading this line below, I burst into tears.

“you shall shed, every pain that has pushed you to fly away”

-be free child-

I left the country I was born to for many reasons. But the reason I almost never tell or admit even to myself? I was running. I was running from so much cruelty. A lifetime of painful memories. Of harmful people. Of places that only served to trigger pain in me. I knew that if I stayed, I wouldn’t survive. I had to grasp at hope. At belief there was a better place with better people somewhere out there in the world.

(Obviously I made a catastrophic error in judgement about where I went… but I did my best with what I knew at the time!)

Oneg has some great articles and poems on his page. I have intended to dive deeper for some time now but it seems I forgot to return! If you are not already familiar, do check him out 🙏❤️

(His work! Check his WORK out!! 😉 For a writer I really don’t pay enough attention to my words. A rather unkind German woman once spat at me “It’s a British thing. You all speak so carelessly. Saying things like see you later - even when that isn’t true”.

She did have a point. I don’t know whether it’s British but it’s definitely a Scottish thing. I can’t speak for the other countries of the ‘Kingdom’ but we certainly lacked for decent education in Scotland****)

****I remain extremely grateful to have had one at all, however! I am aware this planet still has people born into far worse gutters than I was.

by Kristen Balyeat

Kristin’s work always resonates with me. It’s divine. I see her as a true master of poetry and it genuinely delights me to see when she publishes new work. I love the music she sets the tone of this particular poem with and the questions she asks are rather profound.

When I find myself still in or in another insane situation, my question is always (after a few inevitable tears of self pity and frustration) what am I still to learn from this? Because I know that this theme is only repeating because I am ‘missing’ something. A jigsaw piece I’ve previously collected and somehow overlooked. One that would unlock the bigger picture. One that would release me.

If you’re not already subscribed to Kristen you are in for a real treat ❤️

by Paul Stewart

Hands up if you can’t relate to imposter syndrome?!

Really? No one?!

Do we not have even one pretender?

Someone to claim he never fears being or feels out of place, in the wrong place, unwelcome someplace or isn’t worthy of being in another?

Good.

So we are all agreed?!

This is ridiculously relatable!

I really do think that we all experience this. For even if you are the magic child born and raised in and of love, you will not feel comfortable, safe or welcome in a backstreet bar with demons, or a street lined with prostitutes. You can’t relate to a conversation about childhood abuse or blend in at an Alcoholics Anonymous meet. You would feel like an imposter in this world! Probably more so than us!

The rest of us may have lacked love and confidence and so we have subsequently felt like imposters. But somehow a poem comes along and gently reminds us that we ALL feel the same feels. We all experience fear and anxiety - especially in regards to rejection. The academic literature tells us that the fear of rejection is perceived as high on the scale as the fear of death.

Crazy, right?

So, all in all, it’s nice to feel connected. More than nice, it’s important. More than important, it’s actually vital. So vital that it profoundly & positively impacts our health when we have it!

If we could remain in such a state of blissful connection and eliminate all fear? There would be no aging. What we consider normal aging beyond 28 is actually decay. Decay caused by stress. Stress caused by a thousand things, internal and external.

Yes, I am dropping in here quite casually that I believe we are designed to be immortal.

And the thing about truth?

It’s said to go through three phases.

First it is ridiculed.

Then it is angrily rejected.

Eventually it is accepted as self evident.

-

I’m excited for stage 3!!

-

I digress. Where was I?

Ah yes. Paul’s poem.

It’s pure dead brilliant, like.

(That’s for Paul. For you non-Scot’s this translates as “That is an absolutely spiffing poem)

by Paul Stewart

Yup. Still the same Paul!

I had to also add this one for an injection of super relatable humour.

My response Paul?

Carbs can’t solve problems

But they sure can delay them.

And thank fuck for that!

by Sleepy Drafts

Given that it’s almost THREE WHOLE YEARS since I freed myself from the anxiety and fear cycle of nicotine this poem has to feature here.

Mostly because it’s brilliantly written and I don’t know what other category I could slip it into! Em has placed 🥇🥈in two challenges but I wasn’t here for those, sadly! I just found her thanks to Poppy’s Preference’s - which is a selection of poetry picks by one of my favourite creators on Vocal.

I have yet to explore Em’s other work but this first poem I chose is magnificent. Relatable to me on many levels, from the human relationship perspective to the literal translation. I hope you will enjoy her also!

by Brin J

This poem resonates deeply. It poses a question that I have so often asked myself; why the mind can so easily recall the harshest traumas in explicit detail and yet not the thousands of joys experienced?

And on the few occasions that this could actually have served me well? My mind did the very opposite! I guess attachment issues scream the loudest, right?!

Have you ever been so adamant you are leaving a toxic relationship and only to later not be able to recall why? To suddenly remember only the good in that person, the amazing times…. and none of the bad. Sometimes I wish I could just wrap my past self in a big cosy blanket and hug her all day long. She really needed that.

Brin has a lot of poetry to explore and from the few I’ve read so far, many could have made my list ✨❤️

======================================================

As always thank you all so much for reading and encouraging my creativity here! This is an ever expanding community of kindness and support that I’m honoured to be part of. Your creativity and kindness inspires mine. Together we rise ❤️