Bitter Table of One

So well-said Jazzy. Your feelings are valid and relatable. I can only imagine how thrilling it would be to have a top story! Congrats dear heart.

Congratulations on Top Story to you as well Jazzy. This award tends to catch us all by surprise sometimes. Well done, you deserve it <3 <3

I feel you completely! I to didn’t think many enjoyed my works. To be fair a lot of what I have written here has been from dreams or something I wrote in a day or two, while also managing my now 12 month old. I so figured I would never make even too story let alone place in a challenge. I know my grammar and spelling isn’t always the best and i was settling in to the thought that’s I will only ever have this space for creativity. And as a shock I too have top story my first ever. I feel you exactly wanting even just a bit of validation that your work is more than just for you. Excellently written! Congratulations on top story! keep that spark alive ☺️

These feelings, the emotions, the reactions you have are natural. You're human. I think we all have the self doubt and little boosts along the way keep us energized and encouraged to keep going. I have also had two disappointments here on Vocal with the challenges. The Painted Prose one ripped my creativity out for a few days when I didn't place. The bright side of that is we learn - if we want to really put out our best, we have to silence those ghosts in our heads that haunt us. You're a really good writer. The only way to get great is to not quit. I think you'll be great.

I'm really feeling every word of this. Ironically, not this time, for me. But other times. Let's keep at it together.

Congratulations on Top Story Jazzy! I agree with your husband that the upset is a gauge of your deep engagement to your writing. But I agree with you that we have to feel but moderate our feelings. I will pay off, I guess success comes in waves. I can totally relate. I've lost contest after contest, pouring my all heart and many late nights into most of them. Support keeps growing though, and it is honing our skills to finer points every day. Take care!

Honesty is good in this way! We all deserve to take a part in everything that we do feel like doing I am also often overwhelmed by the talents in here but each of us is a different individual and deserves some kind of uplift of any kind that we do dream to! much Love to You! Just next time don't care and sure it will come! You have got so many Top stories that is something to celebrate a lot already You are a winner!

I love how honest this is. No, it’s not about winning, it’s about being part of something bigger, it’s fine, they’re better than me, writing is subjective and so even if my piece is good I might not win…but you brushed all that aside and said well YEAH, but I wanna WIN! And I like that. :)

I love your confidence, and I love this story. Congrats on the TS and hang in there.

I think we all can relate to the feeling of being tossed aside. I've received a top story and my piece never made it in the honorable mention category. I just write for my own enjoyment.

Congratulations!!!! 🎉🎊🎈

Hey Jazzy! I’m glad this isn’t going to stop you from sharing your beautiful words with the world. I know your feelings really well - I actually stopped writing for a number of years after strong rejection from a professor. It’s one of my larger regrets: letting someone else’s taste impact the strength of my passion and neglecting my talent. You’re talented as heck. Don’t let a lack of recognition slow you down! The more you write, the more recognition you’ll get. In the end, it’s a numbers game more than anything else. You just need to keep getting your writing out there so the right eyeballs (that are ready for your writing and excited by it rather than critical) will find it. If you want to read more about how I dragged myself out of my slump, I wrote a piece about it here: https://vocal.media/motivation/the-artist-s-way No pressure to read, just thought I’d share. Good luck going forward! But keep going forward!!!

Yes - believe in yourself, keep writing, your time will come! ❤️

You are not the only one hoping you had placed when the released the new winners. Even though having the community and support is great, it can be hard when you are so proud of your work and think it will place or be recognized as a TS, and it doesn't happen. Perseverance plays as much of a role in our writing as the unity and the publishing. It is hard sometimes, but we keep on writing. And Jazzy, I will now congratulate you on your recent Top Story.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm thrilled to see it get a top story. I know er all go through the process of defeat after a challenge is over. But as you said, we grow from it. to be honest, this confession of yours has kept me from quitting. I have read and re-read my entries and feel as you, I will keep working. Congrats on your top story

" He told me it showed how much I care," Your husband is absolutely correct here. How much you care is evident in your writing. Your voice is strong and I believe it is just a matter of time for you. Congrats on a well deserved Top Story.

Not only was this courageous of you to share, but it helps brighten this community of writers even more. You added a compassionate self-reflective piece to the conversation, and I know I'm not the only Vocal writer who can relate. One of the greatest gifts this site has given me is the ability to read winning pieces and overlooked pieces on here and think "wow, this is incredible" and "my goal is to be less garbage and elevate my game" in the same space. You are clearly letting yourself be inspired, while believing that you have the strength as a writer to just get better and better. And you will win, for sure, with that. The corny part of me wants to pop in a cigar and say that you already have won. But really, it will be nice to get that top spot right? Okay lastly, even in this vulnerable piece, your line about your husband was just exquisite: "his art being his body," because immediately I knew you meant literally and beyond that. If I didn't have my husband reading my work and rooting me on and critiquing it, I would feel even more stuck in this writer's fever dream we often subject ourselves to. Keep writing, for yourself and for whatever drives you! You got this!

I've written some of my best work for Challenges and was happy to see one come in second. That was after 2.5 years of writing on the platform. Write for your own true reasons. You are talented!

This was extremely relatable. I enter as many challenges as possible but have never won or been an honourable mention. Even the eternal quest for Top Story status is vanishingly rare. It's a terrible feeling, especially when the pride goblin that lives in my head takes over and says "but I deserved this!" Talk about not useful thinking. Instead, much like you, I keep trying! Building my skill with each iteration. Keep going! This article was impressive and you have tremendous skill!

Sending support. I have been told in no uncertain terms that my work is not good enough for a Vocal challenge. Maybe that is my critics and probably Vocal's view but my audience thinks very differently. I use Vocal's Challenges as a prompt, I don't check the winner's announcements anymore, but having said that I am extremely successful on Vocal and think it is a good platform to share content on. Don't let not winning a challenge disappoint you, you know your work is excellent, just let it spur you on to try again and get recognition like this excellent article has

Back to say congrats! 🥂💕

Jazzy, you are so talented. Don't ever doubt that. I find as writers, we often spend too much time comparing our work to others. We all have unique voices that should be celebrated for their individuality. I will leave you with this; all of my placements have come from some of my least favorite (in terms of writing capability (ie. i don't think they're well crafted), not necessarily subject matter) stories. There are stories I poured my heart and soul into creatively, pondering the prose to make sure it's right, and they've been overlooked. It's all subjective. What I think is my best work might be seen as my worst by someone else. Competing is hard, but it's always worth it to keep trying. Sending you my love. I'm glad you have your husband during these difficult moments

Even if you don’t win a challenge on here, you still win against the challenges you set against yourself. The challenges that said “My work isn’t good enough to post.” The challenges that said “You’ll never find your niche of people who will read what you put out.” You heard those challenges. You heard those voices. And you published your work anyway. Not for others, but for YOU. Because it’s what you wanted to do. And, yes, it’s great to acknowledge that you’re angry or hurt or upset for not winning, and you should express yourself as loudly and as clearly as possible. And leave this up, for other people may come across this and see it and know that they aren’t alone in the feeling. But, know that you still ARE good enough. And you are finding your people. <3

The Vocal challenge judges have very distinct taste in poetry. It is not my personal taste. One amazing thing the challenges have taught me is my strengths as a writer. There have been many challenges I was simply not excited about. I procrastinated writing until the very last minute, or never got inspired enough to enter at all. You have to wait for what really speaks to you. The moment the Painted Prose Challenge was announced I knew it was for me. I didn’t decide on a painting until a week before deadline, but I knew I would enter that challenge. There was no way I could not. I felt it all through my body that I had to do it. There will always be new challenges, and you will know when a challenge is meant for you. Whether it be poetry, fiction, or nonfiction. I’ve hated most of the fiction prompts for a while now, and felt like the nonfiction ones were irrelevant to my life. Then, all at once, Vocal currently has 2 fiction and 4 nonfiction challenges that I’m excited about. So you just never know. The way I see it is, if I write something I’m proud of, I’ve won. I’m very proud of My Blue Heaven, which did not place in the Short and Sweet Challenge. I knew it wouldn’t place when I published it. But I wrote it from my heart and it was a rewarding experience.

P.P.S! One day, we will have a Vocal Awards Ball in real life 🥰 Once I attract my fortune I will host it and fly you all out to some epic venue. I will choose the very best of each of your work and you will be given a gold flower sculpture on a stage with people clapping. You will see the stars glistening above through the fairy lights and candles over the grass, and hear the ocean waves applauding in the background. You will be dressed like a princess, our bar won’t have alcohol because we will all be so high on life and not want to bring that mood down one single bit. and we will have live music to dance to until the early hours of the next day where you will fall into your guest suite feeling so good about yourself, about life. You will feel forever supercharged with all of the appreciation you ever needed and wanted and you will look to your husband and say, that was wonderful, and now that past of me who desperately seeks, is content. She is done needing the approval of others. That golden rose you take home will sit in your writing room and any time that little girl in you feels discontent, you will hold it and be infused with the memories of the night you were awarded it. The night that someone thought so much of your writing that they flew you halfway across the world to a party in your (co) honour 🥰 and you will smile. You will put it down in exchange for a pen and you will write from security and love, knowing that you are and have both x