A Time for Reflection #2

As many start to count down the final hours to the start of the new year, I can't help but become nostalgic of the past 12 months. And not just at my writing, although it will be what takes up most of this essay. I think back to my accomplishments and failures, my mental highs and lows, my defining moments.

Mainly, I dwell on what seemed to be a recurring theme for this year: stepping out of my comfort zone, be it talking about vulnerable moments in my life with people to writing a piece for a new category to doing things for myself. I can say without a doubt, because of this, this is the best year I've had in a while.

I am happier and more sure of myself. There are bits of the past, bolder me peeking through. My writing has improved greatly, with much of the thanks going to everyone who has read and subscribed. You make me want be bold and open, touching on subjects I felt would break me or worry others. You help me to write with a certain freedom I haven't felt in a while and I thank you for that a thousand times.

Another recurring theme came in the form of patience. Allowing myself to sit with my words before rushing to publish, thinking about the impact they would have on readers and myself. Checking, double-checking, triple-checking, (and even more checking) for better ways of writing a thought. And of course, making sure my grammar and spelling were almost on point. (Thank you, Quick Edit, Grammarly and spell check.)

But, the most important part of being patient was being patient with myself. To say it is continually a struggle is an understatement. This is especially true when my mental health takes a seemingly abrupt decline. I would be so angry at myself at my lack of motivation to do anything, much less write. The only things the anger did was stretch out my mental low periods and make it harder to be better. Now I try to remind myself of happier moments and not push myself to rush out what will be subpar work.

***

It is at this point I decided to look back at two specific pieces: "January 1, 2023" and "A Time for Reflection".

I can still remember my fingers flying over the keyboard to complete this by the self-imposed deadline. Looking back, I wish I was better about using the formatting tools, something I saw advised and demonstrated by many Vocal writers.

I am quite proud of the goals I had back then, even if I didn't succeed in accomplishing all of them. I like to think they were a very small step to becoming this new person and better writer I am today.

Here were the goals:

1. Release instead of therapy. January 25 was about the most terrifying and exciting time of my writing journey.
2. Post stories that aren't linked to a current challenge. Which I did, hooray!
3. Posting something to my social media every Friday, be it Instagram, or TikTok, or both. Yeah, I gave up on this pretty quickly and I don't regret it a bit.
4. Read dystopian fiction. Does it count if it on Vocal +? Yes, yes it does.
5. Write or read almost every day. I am so glad I said or rather than and, because otherwise I wouldn't have met this goal.

Because this year's goals article was a successful endeavor, I am thinking of writing another goals article next year. (Well, I guess tomorrow, actually.) If I don't write an article, I will at least have a list somewhere I can always find it. The goals were a constant source of motivation throughout the year.

***

This piece was a turning point for me. I had long decided to not focus on trying to win challenges or gain a Top Story spot. Instead, I was just going to write to my heart's content and improve my skills.

I wrote A Time for Reflection in a moment of nostalgia and published it as a way to be open about my journey to readers. It was surprising and quite ironic to see it earn a Top Story mark, but this piece made me realize I was capable of doing so.

In honor of a certain section in that story, there is a lesson (well, another) I learned. Allow yourself to be nostalgic every so often. Looking back at your old work can help you see how far you've come. Laugh at some of your not-so-great pieces, or better yet, redo them. (Something I have yet to do.) Looking at past achievements on your harder days will remind you of your capabilities.

***

List of some of my achievements (writing and reading).

Completed a series (kind of). I am thinking of starting up phase 2 in the unforeseen future.

Reached my reading goal. My goal was 200 books and I read...over that. I couldn't tell you exactly how many since some of the 'books' were actually multiple books in one. Yes, I really love reading.

Joined a few Vocal + related Facebook groups. I will list them below for all of you to check out. Now, I just have to be better about being active on them. (Maybe I'll make that a goal for next year.)

Vocal + Assist, Great Incantations: A group dedicated to Writing Challenges, Vocal Social Society

Was a runner up for a Challenge (a Vocal + Assist Challenge, and yes, I'm counting it). The link for the original challenge article is embedded in the story.

Wrote 100 stories total (since I've joined Vocal +)

***

Finally, a thank you

Thank you to all who read, commented, and reacted my work this year. I couldn't do it without you all.

Let all have a great last day of the year!