2 Subscribers!!!

I often wonder how far I would be in my writing right now if I had pushed myself to start years ago. I imagine all the work I could have put out and wonder if I lost any of it in my mind that will now never come to light. I wonder if years from now, I will still eagerly be checking my account every hour to see if I have any likes or new subscribers to my stories, hoping to read how someone enjoyed my work. Or is there a honeymoon phase to writing just as there are relationships? Anticipating the persons next text and what they will say to you, sending beautiful flowers or chocolates...

Does the excitement of putting your fingers to the keys fade? Does hearing the little clicks remain a comforting sound? These are things I now have to wait to find out, maybe everyone is different?

Well I am the type that I have to restrain myself from checking my Vocal notifications every 5 min to see if I have had any updates. I'm so bad that today at work I wanted to log in on my phone on lunch so I could just see if I had that little red notification letting me know someone appreciated me, and I was willing to go as far as changing my password because I could not remember it!

So I changed it of course and immediately logged in. And OMG there it was... the little red notification!!! My heart skipped with excitement!!! I couldn't have clicked on it faster. It read "Your password was successfully changed about one minute ago." I about died laughing at how ridiculously ecstatic I had acted over a password notification. Just my luck! I was kinda disappointed for a second but then I remembered the night before I had just gained my second subscriber. And let's be real, two isn't really a lot... but it means a lot to me.

So if you guys are reading this, which I really hope you are... Thank you for being my first's Haha! It really means more than you know, because this now marks an official start to the path I have procrastinated for so very long! No more excuses, no more holding back, it's time to really put myself out there.

Something else I realized about why I have waited so long is that I am really impatient about certain things, writing is a slow process, and gaining attention takes time. I didn't have the patience for that before because my mind would fall into a negative thought pattern, and suddenly I'd be taking the process personally and thinking I just wasn't liked or good enough. But I am learning to understand that this is not an overnight thing, it is slow moving, and it should be. And now I have the awareness of the very real need to work on my forbearance because this notification obsession is a bit out of control... yep.

That is what is making the start to this journey so much more exciting, it's bringing up all kinds of aspects of myself that I was partly aware of, but now have a new way to work on it while being creative and doing something I love and enjoy! I genuinely am looking forward to seeing where this path in life is going to take me, and look forward to meeting amazing people to connect with along the way.

I hope you at least got a decent smile out of this, and I would love if you checked out my other writing and let me know your thoughts! Blessed day or night to you all!