Why I Dove Headfirst Into the Ocean at Midnight

Back in 2016 I was pretty reckless. On a whim, I bought plane tickets to Ireland for a two week time frame knowing absolutely nothing about the country. I had just moved home at age 22 to start pursuing some kind of degree from a local community college, and I was feeling desperate for some kind of adventure.

To make a long story short, I basically opened myself up to whatever would come my way on this trip. I didn't know anyone in Ireland, but I had booked some hostels and just said "Fuck it". Which is how during my second week there I ended up on a small fishing boat with an Irish native and three German students, making our way to a small private island right off the coast of Ireland called Achillbeg.

"Fuck It"

I'd met the four of them at a hostel a few days prior, and they said they were traveling together up north to a county called Sligo. I had zero plans made up for that time, so I figured I'd take the bus with them and see what happened. Kevin, the Irish native, said he wanted to show the girls his dad's house and asked if I wanted to come with. I debated, then stuck to my "fuck it" motto and agreed to come check it out.

His dad picked us up at a gas station (he seemed nice enough) while Kevin rode his bike ahead of us up the road until he disappeared. Kevins dad dropped us off at a small dock and said, "See you folks in a few" then drove off.

I remember thinking, "I am 100% going to get killed, and it is all my fault."

However, once I saw Kevin come around the dock in the water in a small fishing boat, I was SURE I was going to get killed. So I did what any reasonable person would do, and I got in the boat.

Not Dead Yet

Kevin explained once we were in the boat that his dad lived off the Irish coast on a small island called Achillbeg. It was an old house his grandfather had built that his dad was retiring in. Kevin has spent his life growing up on the island, swimming with his brothers and just generally enjoying life by the water.

The boat ride was about fifteen minutes. Once we hit the shore we all hopped out and made the short trek to the house, all pretty enamored by this impromptu experience. One thing I'll never forget was the view from the kitchen out onto the water.

"I want you to dive into the ocean with me"

Around 11:45 pm, after I'd had a couple beers, Kevin asked all of us to come down to the beach with him because there was something he wanted to show to us. While the view and walk from the beach had been pleasant in the afternoon, the wind was howling something awful at this time of night, and to make matters worse it was pitch black. The house was only one of a few houses on the whole island, so the only light would've been the moon had it not been so cloudy.

Kevin explained to me that there was a rare phenomena that happens on the shore of this beach in the water. Something about the bacteria in the water created a light up effect when you moved your hands through the ocean water, and if you were lucky you got to see lights fly off the ends of your fingers as you vigorously moved them. He handed me a pair of goggles and said, "I want you to dive into the ocean with me."

I looked at my new german friends, all of them shaking their heads back at me, and I looked at Kevins eager face. I thought long and hard about my fear of open bodies of water, and how freaked out I was by the wind howling. And I also thought, "fuck it" and started to take off my clothes.

Holy Shit

Now, stripped to just my boxers and a pair of goggles, I waded into the ocean without being able to see anything in front of or behind me. Kevin had waded off to my left far enough that I had lost sight of him, and I was beginning to regret my choices. I remember hearing Kevin yell, "On three!" and then never even hearing a count down, but eager to get the experience over with, I dove headfirst into the ocean at midnight.

Holy shit.

I remember the water feeling ice cold, the sound of the current in my ears, and I only managed to get two good pumps of my arms before re-breaking the surface. Those two pumps felt like slow motion looking back now. The fist one I didn't see anything, but on the second pump I saw wispy strands of white light break off of my hands. I wanted to take a second to marvel at what I was seeing, but fear broke over me and I ripped my head up as fast as I could.

Suddenly, I was completely panicked. All I could hear was the wind in my ears, and I had no idea which direction the shore was. It was pitch black, and I was absolutely terrified. But I heard Kevin yell to me to turn around, and just start walking. Next thing I knew I was back on the shore being wrapped in a towel and being ushered back up to the house.

No Regrets

I spent a few days at that house with Kevin and the girls, loving every second, but that first night I really proved something to myself. I discovered that given the right circumstance, I am equal parts reckless as I am brave, and that sometimes you need to dive headfirst into the ocean at midnight in order to figure that out. Maybe there was a better way to figure that out, but fuck it.