THREE CHICKS ONE BOAT

“I thought he would never leave!” Kristy exclaimed and walked over to her purse and pulled out a small flask of booze from her purse. “Let’s get this party started!”

The cabin was spacious and could easily sleep 6 people. There were two worn fold out sofa beds and a queen bed in the bedroom. It was a very simple lay out with an open kitchen attached to the living room. Alaina decided to mix us all some cocktails while Kristy inventoried and separated the groceries. The grill was a basic charcoal grill which was easy enough to light. I was able to get the grill started with no assistance from anyone which I was proud of. Kristy flipped on the radio and browsed the channels as I prepared our swamp feast of steaks, grilled veggies and potatoes. We were in our own little world without a single care in the world. I liked the isolation and the idea of us out here alone far from civilization. Kristy danced around the kitchen table holding the radio as if it were a dance partner to the Zydeco song it was blaring. Once it started to get dark we started to light our lanterns that were located throughout the cabin and set the three flashlights on the kitchen table. We ate our food with proud smiles on our faces around the table while we listened to the old Cajun singer,” Dans la prison, chérie, Assis sur mon lit, Comment don' j' vas faire, chérie, Sans ma 'tite fille, Sans ma 'tite fille chérie, Avec les yeux bleus” We hummed along as if we had heard this song a thousand times. It amazing how alcohol makes everything so much more enjoyable. “And that was La Valse de la Prison by the Hackberry Ramblers” The radio DJ announced.

“Did he say Prison?,” Alaina asked jokingly. “That’s the only word that I understood in that whole song!”

“Maybe that was an old time version of a Gangsta Rap song in French?” I asked as serious as I could.

“I think it is about a prison stalker,” she replied casually as she ate her dinner

The night rolled in and brought a thick fog with it. We had our lanterns lit but it was still very dark throughout the cabin. I decided to take a shot of starting the generator. I used the flashlight to make sure it had gas in it and tried to remember what Zeb was saying in broken English. When I got it started I almost fell off the side of the deck from the surprisingly loud sound that came barreling out of it. Immediately the whole cabin was lit up. It was extremely loud unless you closed all the doors and windows to the cabin. Kristy flipped through the stack of VHS tapes underneath the outdated TV and VCR.

“Smoky and the Bear, Valley Girl, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Grease, Karate Kid part one and three but no part two, and Deliverance” Kristy read the titles without even pausing on the last one.

“Deliverance? Did you just say they had deliverance?” I asked in a very shocked tone. “We are in the middle of nowhere. Why would anyone want to watch a movie about scary hillbillies that rape tourists? Oh my god, how horrifying!”

30 minutes later we were watching Deliverance and drinking a shot every time we heard the sound of a banjo or a gunshot.

I don’t even remember falling asleep. I think blacking out would have been a better description. I heard the sound of beer and wine bottles being knocked over as I moved and realized I was sleeping on top of the coffee table. Kristy was face down on the floor in front of the TV snoring so I knew she wasn’t dead and Alaina was sprawled out on one of the sofas. The generator had obviously cut off by itself when it ran out of gas because there wasn’t any power or air conditioning running. I stumbled around and opened the windows to let the cool breeze through and tripped on Krisrty’s shoes in the hallway to the bedroom. I flew myself on the bed and drifted back into sleep. We must have been up late the night before because we all managed to sleep almost the entire day away. When I rolled over to look at my clock it read 2:15pm. I could hear movement coming from the living room and Kristy calling my name to let me know she made coffee. We all were quiet today at the kitchen table. I noticed that Alaina and Kristy were talking softly to each other in fear that their heads could possibly explode. We lounged around and debated on adventuring out on the flat boat and decided to save that for in the morning since our gas was limited. The thought of moving around in open water on a flat boat didn’t sound very appealing with a hangover anyway and Alaina and Kristy made it clear that they were afraid to drive the boat. We were able to force down a modest breakfast of granola bars, fruit and coffee and decided that this would be a good day to enjoy doing nothing.

It turned out to be pretty easy to pull off doing nothing. We lounged on the front deck in the cool breeze soaking up the sun from the fading afternoon; reading magazines, playing cards and listening to music. We smoked cigarettes and stared at the neon ribbons that were tied to the branches in the trees above us blowing in the wind. We even waved to a few locals that sped by our house in their fishing boats down the canal. This is a getaway that forces you to relax. We tried to fish with the poles that we found in the closet of the cabin and realized that turkey hotdogs don’t work very well as bait for any fish; even though we had several turtles attack the lines. I was in hillbilly heaven and tried to imagine what it would be like to live out here every day.

I started to drift off in a lounge chair day dreaming about my fantasy swamp life, when I heard Alaina say casually, “Looks like we have company.” I opened my eyes to see a small boat with two people in it slowly approaching. I stood up slowly and carefully to avoid the spins from all the alcohol we had already consumed since we had been awake to get a better look at our visitors.

“Bonjour là dames? Sont sorti vous ici tout seul?” asked the smaller man in the front of the boat. Ok, so now we have rednecks that speak French outside our floating cabin. I only understood the hello part and racked my brain for any help from my high school French class. They looked to be in their thirties and had the camouflage attire on from head to toe. They both smiled with gaps in their smiles from missing teeth and black paint across their cheeks.

“Vraiment pas, nos maris ne pêchent loin et devraient revenir n'importe quelle minute. Avec lequel pouvons-nous vous aider? I heard a familiar voice respond. I turned to see it was Kristy speaking French. “They asked us why we were here alone and I told them that our husbands were out fishing and should be back any minute” She added with a wink and a smile.

The two men in the boat also seemed surprised that Kristy was able to understand what they were saying and eyed her curiously as if they were considering her lie about our imaginary husbands. The larger man driving the boat spoke to Kristy while he eyed her up and down like dessert. I almost felt as though they were stalling to see if anyone would show up to physically show them that we were not alone. Kristy chatted back and forth with the two men in French and then said nicely in English, “Goodnight guys, thanks for checking on us.” They hesitated for a moment looking at both me and Alaina who were silent for the entire conversation and then finally started their boat and continued to head past our cabin further down the canal.

“Ok was I the only one that thought we were about to be murdered?.” I asked genuinely.

“Um….no.” Alaina responded. “Kudos to Kristy who can speak French. Maybe that saved us? Why didn’t you talk to Zeb in French?” she asked.

“Because I liked hearing what he was saying about us under his breath. Calling us stupid girls and that we better be careful and not burn down his cabin. Besides; he may have never left yesterday; it did take him an hour to show us how to work everything!” Kristy joked.

We spent our last night on the boat enjoying hamburgers, hotdogs, and chips. We sat around the table making jokes about our crazy visitors and how lucky we are considering that we don’t have any weapons except for a pocket knife, kitchen knife and mace from Alaina’s purse. I filled up the generator after dinner with the extra gas that Zeb had given us before the sun started to set and made sure all the lanterns were filled. We sat outside in the quiet with the lights off for a long time drinking and staring at the sky. 8:00pm in the swamp is extremely dark and black. When you flash your flashlight into the dark it is startling to see all the different size eyes reflecting back at you. I couldn’t tell the difference between a frog and alligator and did not care to find out. I walked carefully around the side of the cabin to the back to start the generator. I was prepared this time for the load roar that came out of this old machine. “And let there be light!” I yelled over the steady rumbling.

Kristy already picked out the movie for the night and decided to go with something light hearted. “How about this?,” she asked holding up the box to Valley Girls. “It has a young Nick Cage BEFORE his fake teeth!” she added with a laugh.

“Yes, I don’t think I can handle another hillbilly rape movie.” Alaina commented as she cleaned up our leftovers and collection of soda cans, booze and water bottles.

We snuggled into blankets and settled ourselves on the sofas with the last of our alcohol and a giant bowl of snack mix. Each of us slowly drifting asleep during the movie with the sound of 80’s music and the humming of the generator sending us off the dream land.