The Old Man and The Mountain

On his thirteenth birthday, Greg, who can’t even pursue his whole name, never mind his destiny, went to the Palm/Tarot reader.

“What’s your name, son?”

“Greg.”

“Ahh, your palm says your name is Gregory.”

“If you could just read my name off my palm, why’d you need to ask me?”

“Very well then. No need to get snippy.”

She read his fortune.

“You’ll climb Mt. Everest, and live to tell about it.”

“What?”

“You will summit the mountain Everest, reach the top, and survive climbing down the mountain. You’ll be regarded as a hero and dozens will follow in your path, achieving the goal because you have paved the way.”

“Why the fuck would I want to do that? That sounds cold. And dangerous! How will I survive? This all seems a bit mystic to me anyway…"

"It's not up to me how you'll do it, I'm just telling you your destiny."

“Sounds like a bunch of malarkey”

“Malarkey it may be. Don't make me wrong though."

"So I'm to be the first to climb Everest and survive. What if I don't?"

"What do you mean?”

“What if I choose not to climb the damn mountain at all?"

“Then someone else will eventually get your destiny.”

“Ok.”

*Eleven Years Later*

On his twenty-fourth birthday, Greg decided to see if the destiny predicted for him had any merit. He moved to Tibet at the foot of Everest, and there met a sherpa who guided climbers up the mountain. Greg fell in love with the sherpa, and decided to spend his time wooing Appa instead of climbing the mountain.

“Another failed expedition.”

“And people wonder why I just live here and don’t climb it.”

“So you’ll climb it after someone else does?”

“No.”

“Then why did you move here?”

“To meet a nice Sherpa boy and settle down.”

“Well then what are you doing hanging out with me?”

“You’re right, you’re not very nice.”

“Mean. What are you really doing here?”

“I’m serious, I want to meet someone and settle down here forever. Seems like a lovely place to grow old.”

“Not according to anyone else that lives here. But hang around with me and I’ll show you around. Maybe even find you that nice sherpa boy.”

“I think I already did, but ok.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like you.”

“Well I’m not gay, so you’ll have to find someone else.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“That doesn’t matter, does it?”

“I know something you don’t, and I’m not going to tell you until we’re married.”

*Eleven Years Later*

On his thirty-fifth birthday, Greg was mad because his husband wasn’t supposed to guide any expeditions over his birthday. He also understood it was how they made their money, so he couldn’t complain much. To Greg’s surprise, Appa returned home early.

“Hey, I’m home.”

“Hi honey, I’m sorry another expedition failed.”

“If these white fools want to keep trying, I’ll keep leading them.”

“You said someone got close on your last expedition.”

“Yeah, but none of these fools has the strength of mind and body to truly make it there and back again. They underestimate how far it is and how long it will take.”

“Fools indeed, and you wonder why I’ve never tried going up the mountain.”

“I don’t wonder anymore. I know you’re scared.”

“Right, I’m scared as fuck.”

“I knew it.”

“No, I’m just smarter than most of my white brethren, I’m not dumb enough to try it.”

“That’s fair. Do you think you’ll ever change your mind?”

“Why would I do that? No one has ever made it to the top.”

“Because I could get to the top.”

“There’s no way you could make it. No one has ever made it!”

“There are old legends that some of our ancestors reached the summit and returned.”

“Of course there are, everyone wants to be the first to do something great.”

“Except you.”

“Exactly. I have no desire to be the one to scale that mountain first.”

“That’s fine.”

*Eleven Years Later*

On his Forty-sixth birthday, Greg was celebrating with his husband and friends. He was surprised when they brought out a real cake, from a box. It made Greg long for the comforts of back home. He blew out the candles and made his wish. Later that night Appa asked,

“What did you wish for?”

“I wished to be back home, back to the comforts of that life.”

“I thought you wanted to grow old here.”

“I thought I did too.”

“So why do you now want to go back?”

“I’ve lived here twenty-two years, and I want to see more of the world. Or maybe I just want to settle down in Paris, or Sydney, or Rio.”

“What about me? This village is all I know, and guiding people up the mountain.”

“Exactly, you should come with me and see a part of the world that isn’t always cold.”

“I’ll be uncomfortable.”

“It’s good to go out of your comfort zone sometimes.”

“Says the man who refuses to climb the mountain.”

“Yeah, yeah. Really though, we should travel the world for awhile.”

“With what money?”

“Over the years I’ve been here, I invested a lot of money from being paid in foregin currency. We have bank accounts all over the world.”

“How much?”

“Enough to last us a long time.”

“It was foretold by our local reader that I would leave the Mountain. I just didn’t think it would be like this.”

“Perfect. I’ll start planning our flight.”

*Eleven Years Later*

On his fifty-seventh birthday, Greg was resting in his home in Miami, Florida, when immigration agents came knocking and arrested Greg’s husband, deporting him back to Nepal. Greg followed him as soon as he could. Upon returning to the village, he found Appa at their house.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”

“I’ll live, I was worried you wouldn’t be able to follow me.”

“I would follow you anywhere, just as you followed me.”

“Would you follow me up the Mountain?”

“Not this again.”

“I wouldn’t let you die, we could make it there and back.”

“No, I won’t do it.”

“Fine, I’ll do it by myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll scale the summit myself like my ancestors. I’ll be the first in written history to do it.”

“You can’t do that. I can’t let you do that.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s my destiny to be the first to climb Mt Everest.”

“Then we can do it together.”

“I’ve spent my whole life avoiding this destiny, why would I do it now?”

“I don’t think you have. You moved here, you married a sherpa, you’ve spent most of your life acclimating to this climate. So why not just climb it with me?

“Because it sounds like a lot of hard work.”

“Well, I’m going with or without you, and if you truly believe I won’t make it without you, then you should come with me.”

*Eleven Years Later*

On his sixty-eighth birthday, Greg couldn’t put it off any longer. He set out with his husband to climb Mt Everest. At first Greg wondered why he had put it off for so long, because it was easy. Then Greg wondered why he had put it off for so long, because it got really hard.

“God damn it! There’s a rock in my shoe”

“Then take it out, dearest”

“I will, but it’s going to take me a while.”

“Of course it will, you’re old.”

“What the hell did you say to me?”

“I said you’re young and vibrant as the day you were born.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Let’s keep going”

*Some time later*

“Fuck, my back.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“No, I mean it’s starting to hurt.”

“Should we sit down and rest?”

“And do what, Freeze our asses off?”

“We have chairs.”

“Fair enough.”

*Some time later*

“We made it! We’ve reached the top!”

“We’ll be remembered forever!”

*Eleven Years Later*

On his seventy-ninth birthday, Gregory, who went by his full name now, settled into his chair in his home in southern Mexico. They had retired there and were very happy. They had become quite rich since being the first ones to successfully climb the mountain. They wrote a book about their life and adventures, and it was getting turned into a movie. Gregory needed something, so he spoke to the hired hand.

"Eduardo, could you get me a glass of water?"

"Yes, old man."

"I told you not to call me old man, I climbed Everest"

“Yes, yes, you climbed the mountain a decade ago. It's quite impressive that you managed to survive. "

“It was destined to survive. A palm reader told me that I would be the first person to reach the top of the mountain and live to tell the tale. "

"Then why did you wait so long?"

"I did not want to do it. He was scared because no one had done it before. I even moved to the foot of the mountain to see it, but one after another, other groups failed and some returned with missing members. "

"Then why did you finally do it?"

“I met a boy. We got married and spent our lives together, traveling the world and ending up back on Everest. When Appa decided to climb alone, he knew he couldn't let him do it, because no one could be successful until I did. "

"So you went up the mountain."

"No, I waited for eleven more years."

"So that's why you were so old."

"I told you not to call me old man, I climbed Everest"

Eduardo shook his head sadly as he nodded and walked away. The old man who had climbed the mountain was dying of dementia and there was nothing to do but pity him. Gregory had lived his life, not exactly to the fullest, but it was his.