Questions I Have For Americans

After traveling to America several times and interacting with plenty of Americans, I have some questions.

1. Why is your sales tax separate?

Okay this really pisses me off. If I go into a poundshop here in Scotland and pick up one item, guess how much that item is when I get to the till? Ding, ding, ding, it's a pound. However if I pick up an item in a dollar store in America, when I go up to the till there is the additional sales tax to pay. Why not do what literally every other country does and just include the sales tax in the actual price? Does that make too much sense? What is the point in giving one price on the ticket, and then a different price up at the tills. This makes zero sense.

2. Are Americans in general against universal healthcare or is it just the rich?

In the UK we have a National Healthcare System (AKA the NHS), which basically means we all pay tax towards healthcare, and if you need to see a doctor, or have to go the emergency room you don't have to pay for it. There's no receipt after visiting your local GP, there's no huge bill after you've had an accident, and the NHS helps people who have terminal or serious illnesses. However I've heard horror stories about healthcare in America, people dying, because they don't have insurance, people going into debt, because they can't afford to pay hospital bills. Wouldn't it make sense to add on a tax that allows everyone in the country healthcare? Maybe I'm ignorant to the issues here. Maybe the rich one percent are the reason you guys don't have universal healthcare yet.

3. Do you guys realise how loud you are?

Recently I did a bit of traveling in my own country, and drove through the highlands with my best friend. Along the way we met quite a few Americans, and when I say met I mean we heard quite a few Americans. Your voices tend to fill up an entire room and it seems really unnecessary, just saying.

4. What's with the special requests?

This has to be an American thing because when I go into a restaurant I look at the menu and order, sure I may ask for something to be added or substituted, but I would never ask them to make a main course into a starter for me. This just seems rude to me, and the staff often have enough to do without explaining to the chefs that you want a main course dish as a starter, and then having to figure out what to charge you. Just order off the damn menu.

5. What's with your version of English?

Was it really necessary to change the English language? And I don't mean slang words. I mean that you guys have completely different words to us, and it's our language. We call it a path or a pavement, you guys changed it to sidewalk. We call it coriander you call it cilantro. When I said starter earlier you guys would say appetizer. Crisps are chips. Chips are fries. Like, what's going on?

6. Are all the guns really necessary?

I come from a country that banned guns around the time I was born, our police officers don't carry guns. The first time I saw a gun in real life was when I went to America. After all the massacres and school shootings I have to ask, are your guns really more important than human lives?

7. Is there a reason you guys are obsessed with British accents and Britain in general?

Every time I go to America, people ask me to speak because they realise I'm Scottish. I have talked to many American people, and it goes pretty much the same way every time. They realise I'm Scottish, they ask to hear more, they ask me to talk in slang, and then they ask me if I know their fifth cousin John who lives in Scotland like it's not a country populated by 5.5 million people. Even though I know you're being friendly, it gets super annoying after a while.

8. Why do you use Fahrenheit to measure temperature?

If someone said to me ninety degrees Fahrenheit I would have no idea what that meant, because like the rest of the world, I use celsius. It's time to step out of the dark ages and join the rest of us in the modern world.

9. What's up with your road systems?

I will be the first to admit that Britain compared with the rest of the world drive on the wrong side of the road. This isn't where my confusion lies. You guys have massive roads, four lanes each way sometimes. What's the need for that? In my country only one type of road has four lanes, and that's a motorway (equivalent to the highway) and people certainly aren't allowed to cross at them. Do you know why? Because that would be insanity. We don't give people ridiculous timers to cross the road across eight lanes, because we're not savages. Furthermore what's this you can turn right on a red light crap? What kind of shenanigans is this? Red means stop. It's just an invitation for an accident to happen. I could go on, why crossroads instead of roundabouts? What's with all the stop signs? Fix your damn roads.

10. Flags?

I mean I just don't get it. Outside the majority of American homes is the American flag. We don't do that in this country, it's super weird. Also you guys say the pledge of allegiance like everyday in schools? We definitely did not sing "Flower of Scotland" everyday. Cause that would be weird.