Part IX : Memorable Moments that Could Only Happen in Plattsburgh

The last we left him, poor Tim had hitched a ride from Albany to Plattsburgh. Matt, Steve and Andy had enough of his unseemly antics, and when they got to Albany, they dumped him on me. At the time of Part VIII’s writing, I did not have the gory details on what actually got Tim expelled from his ride. But a little email back and forth from the boys and here it is. Enjoy and please don’t judge.

When the quartet got to Albany, they stopped off at the apartment of a few of our female friends from Plattsburgh. Well, Tim apparently had some dirt or mud on his boot and decided he had to cleanse his sole. So not giving any quarter to the girls, Tim choose the path of least resistance. He began kicking one of the walls and did not do so very gently.

The girls responded in kind when Tim put a hole in the wall. Aww shucks, we all know the look, and there was definitely not a friend in sight. Completely set adrift, he showed up at my apartment, and unaware of his escapades, my arms were wide open. Either way, a guilty conscience was not slowing him down, and he made for the Northway with his cardboard sign.

His trip - so to speak - failed to go off without a hitch. Along the way, Tim was accosted by officers of the law, but well experienced in police relations, the wayward traveler deftly tried discard his alcoholic beverages.

Not buying the coy move, the cops obviously made a mistake in thinking they should give this hard luck case a break. So Tim was not hauled off for hitchhiking or open container and was released on his own recognizance. A ticket for littering was the price of admission.

As such, the class of 86 would have to bear the brunt of the load. Even so, Tim was still doing his share at the Saturday afternoon rugby game. The former engineering student decided a ready wiffle ball bat would make a great receptacle to drink out of. Somehow conjuring a knife, he attempted to cut off the handle and sliced his hand open pretty good.

Of course, despite the disconnect in Albany, Steve, Andy and Matt still had joint custody of Tim and had no choice but to take him to the Emergency Room at Champlain Valley Hospital. That was the extend of the trio’s custodial duties, though. Tim was being a total dickhead so the ensuing decision was an easy one. “Find us later,” the boys scolded him.

The displeasure obviously fell on deaf ears. After Tim had “broken out” several hours later, his pockets were filled with a myriad of supplies that he had stolen from the emergency room. So not much thanks for the 12 stitches the doctors had successfully sutured either.

The difficulties probably didn’t end there, but fortunately our memory banks have been wiped clean. The remarkable thing was the entire weekend was foretold and by Tim himself.

Tim and Andy lived together in Park Slope at the time, and on Monday morning, Andy received a letter in the mail. Post marked from the Friday before, Tim was the sender and was way ahead of the curve. “I’m sorry about the weekend Noose.  I was a total Dickhead.  Please don’t be too pissed at me,” he wrote remorsefully.

Unfortunately, the letter has not survived the years, but no documentation is needed. Once again, it could only happen in Plattsburgh and rack up another one for Tim.

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