Light of the Soul

For the first time in her life, she didn’t know her direction, identifying so much with the mind, a life of which all she had ever known, a world that was just surviving.

All her dreams up until this point had been about travel, it was all she ever wanted to do, university walls covered with travel inspiration. As she travelled, creating memories, not knowing what she was looking for but didn’t get the fulfilled desire she was unknowing pursuing.

She realised the perspective of just consuming the world was so cold and damaging so this time she travelled with a purpose, not just to consume the sights but to experience deeper cultural teachings and to travel more meaningfully. With her grandmother’s inheritance, she visited Nepal volunteering at a children’s education centre. Although, she was teaching she couldn’t help but notice she was the one learning.

With new perspectives and a leap of faith, she moved to the city. With the intention to use her passion for travel to create memorable experiences that would last a lifetime for some. Joining a company that seemed ethnical she was excited by what this career step could lead to. She had made some incredible friends in the first few months, however the company, unfortunately, didn’t have a healthy culture leaving her broke and uninspired.

As the new year began, she journaled vague goals and ideas of what she’d like to improve. 1. Becoming healthier in mind and body, 2. flowing to the next step career-wise 3. Becoming debt-free.

This was an attempt to redefine direction, as the compass was spinning without any paths to point too.

Not knowing how or even if she would be able to achieve those things she planted the seed anyway in the small black book. The key that would unfold it all.

A few months later, She had a friend over for dinner and explained the pure nothingness of not having a direction and slowly losing depths of emotions she was becoming detached. At that exact moment whilst filling a glass of hot water, the whole glass shattered across the room. Slowly looking up from the mess glancing at her friend completely reactionless.

That evening, she pulled out her journal sat in front of her bedroom window lost in reflection. Something knowingly told her everything was going to be okay.

The following morning, when she was getting ready for work she saw gold sparkling flecks in her vision, wondering is it was something she should be worried about but not too phased she carried on her day as normal. Whilst at work she was called to a meeting room and made redundant. In, that moment she knew, she wasn’t afraid she knew this was the moment things would change and she would find her direction again. In this powerful knowing, she was able to hold space, provide strength and console those around her.

She didn’t have the smoothest upbringing, it wasn’t until she was old enough to understand the reality of the environment she grew up in; which explained the normalised, miserable and depressed state. She always looks back with so much gratitude and understanding knowing these moments are ultimately spectacles of perspective, to view the world in so much depth. One thing, she always held on too when looking at her olders was that she was always going to find more of what the world had to offer that this couldn’t only be all there was to life, determined to find and bring light.

She spent the next few months in a temporary job, attending mindset workshops, getting comfortable with the uncomfortable and learning to trust in the universe. Although, this was one of the hardest times of her life it was also one of the happiest. There were a few wrong turns and some really hard lessons but slowly she started to find the building blocks that created her foundations allowing everything that had been written in the little black book to come true.

When she learned she could create anything she wanted to, she put $20,000 into her next year’s little black book.