HHN 31: What's Hot & What's Not

As usual, my plan of going to HHN on a weekday was a success. I've completed all 10 houses and 1 show, as well as partaken in a few of the treats around the event. So, I figured I would make this a simple article about what felt right to me, and what felt off. If you're reading this and haven't gone yet, maybe this can be a good guide for you to determine what you're really interested in doing, should you face a time crunch on a busy night or something. So, let's start with . . .

What's Hot

• Dead Man's Pier: Winter's Wake- Gorgeous house design , and my favorite house of the year. The icy chill is bliss on a sticky September night, and the little haunted fishing town is such an underrated trope. And that violinist beauty!!

• Electric Death - Delicious, what more is there to say? There's just something about the edge New Amsterdam gin can give a drink that makes me happy!
• After Hours Nightmare - I fucking love the Weeknd, and I absolutely loved After Hours (the Best Album of the Year in my heart, always). Tied with DMP for fave house- we're screaming AND shaking ass.

• The Weeknd - I fucking love the Weeknd.
• The Tribute Store - Just a cutie patootie little store. They decorate it so well every year! This is where the theme of the event really shines, and the Creative Team and Field Merchandise team should be proud as hell of themselves.
• Pumpkin Gingersnap Punch- Oh, pumpkin and ginger . . . what a combo.
• Spirits of the Coven - Pretty women jazzing it up and murdering people! Superb!
• Halloween - Yeah this is the, like, third time its been at HHN but that last room . . . !
• BUGS: Eaten Alive - I've got mild trypophobia so this house gave me visceral, genuine feelings of disgust- we love an evocative haunted house, though, don't we?

• Meetz Meats - adorable little snack bar made to look like a butcher shop in an alley down in New York! Cute, raw vibes.

• The Pumpkin Lord - Daddy Pumpkin.
• Fiesta de Chupacabra - Best house design this year perhaps . . .
• Spicy Turkey Squash Bun- pair it with the Pumpkin Gingersnap Punch!
• The music at Sweet Revenge- I love old jazz bands and swing music!

What's Not

• Ghoul Juice - Mm, no!
• Descendants of Destruction - Their weakest attempt at the "deranged and mutated survivors" trope.
• Petrified Rat Tails - was it the crab dip or the Florida Bay seasoning that made it so weirdly sweet?
• The Horrors of Blumhouse - Ok let me clarify. The first half of the house (Freaky) sucked. But Black Phone?! Chef's kiss.
• Universal Monsters: Legends Collide - I just don't understand? Why was nearly the entire house set in a pyramid/Ancient Egypt? Is the Mummy winning? Were there just not enough scare actors?
• The Scare Zones in general - Yeah Sweet Revenge is cute and all, but overall the zones were weak this year. Now I could have had a bad run through of all of them, sure . . . But a lot of them felt sparsely decorated. Universal could have really leaned into making the place one giant Spirit Halloween warehouse or an unholy desecration of Halloweentown and yet . . . Hm.

• Ghoulish - I didn't like it until the last four minutes. So.
• $20 candles - Now, really, Universal. They either smell like pumpkin or sandalwood- you peaked with the Jurassic World themed candles and the only other good ones were the classic monster candles this past summer.
• Hellblock Horror - A lesser version of DOOM.
• Bloody Mary - I can barely tolerate this drink on the regular, and you spiked it with bad vodka!
• Do Not Believe My Lord Pumpkin Was Given Due Respect - He SHOULD have been a new Icon, instead y'all propped him up on some box on the sidewalk like he won the county fair blue ribbon and you just decided to leave him at the fairgrounds to spoil.
• Churro Dog on a Stick - Why did they cover a corn dog in cinnamon sugar?!
• Tinsel Town Terror - Actually this is a personal preference. If you like drinks that are unapologetically cherry, you'll love it!

The Ones That Got Away . . .

Unfortunately I'm only one woman, with one liver. So I didn't get to try all of their drinks, or all the food! Hell, I'm only just finding out through walkthrough videos and articles about the other food options that I was not previously aware existed. Lack of research on my part, obviously, so that's why it's not in the "not hot" category. So, here's a sad acknowledgement of the foods and drinks that got away:

• Dirty Valentine (found in Chucky's food truck, near the Simpsons!)
• Tombstone Red Velvet Cake Pop (near Finnegan's!)
• Bog Slime 2: The Sequel (near Finnegan's) - actually heartbroken about this, I fucking loved Bog Slime last year.
• Samhain Shocker (in that little alley adjacent to Transformer's queue, you know, and the row of houses in New York?) - I actually declined trying this because the last time I tried absinthe (by itself) I was staring at the shower wall for an hour under the stream, with a friend knocking on the door going "Danny you alright? It's been an hour!"
• Save Your Tears (Battery Park) - I cannot believe I wasn't aware an After Hours bar existed, I'm so heated.
• Spiked Boba Peach Lemonade (bridge connecting Simpsons to London) - I missed alcoholic boba, hate that for me.
• Apparently everything at the San Francisco Bakery??? Nice.
• Halloween Nightmare Fuel: Wildfire - My sexy dancing show . . . RIP

My overall opinion of Halloween Horror Nights 31 is:

It was alright.

Would I pay to go back? . . . Nah. Even with all the yummy things I apparently missed, something just felt missing from the event. Now, like I've said before in the list, there could have been a lot of reasons that Universal just had no control over. I get it if there are staffing shortages, or that maybe because it's still so early in the season that it's taking a while to find its footing. So, I'm not bashing it and saying "Oh this year was terrible! It was the worst! HHN has lost its soul!"

No, it's fun, it does what it's intended to do, and that is: scare you and entertain you. I got a few jump scares, and I was entertained. Just . . . only sometimes.

I think that's just what's getting me the most, because usually I can say with confidence that I loved the event. It was amazing. It outdid itself. I don't feel like it did any of that this year . . . it was fun! And that's all you really need, I suppose, just fun. Not every year is going to be a knockout.

But hey, that's just my opinion. It's ultimately up to you, to decide for yourself. But I hoped this list helped give you some ideas of what to try out first, and what food or drink you might really want to savor! Comment below if you've been already and what your favorite house and food/drink was, or maybe find some buddies to go with later on in the season. Should you have learned something from this article, or even just enjoyed it, like and share please. Happy Scares to all of you~!