Griswald Family Vacations - Take 1 and 2

Take 1

Wally World... here we come... Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament! We are so the Griswalds.....

So, I'll start with the good news. We were grateful to have made it from Southern California to Utah before sunrise. We left a little late, as often happens with the hustle and bustle of leaving the house with a family. Our 7 hour drive often stretches to 8 with traffic and sometimes even 9 with the frequent potty and refueling stops. So, we were quite happy to make good time and get there with some sleep inducing darkness left to help us harness the zzzz's.

The bad news? Well, we were NOT so grateful that there was a yard sale somewhere between home and Brian Head, Utah... on the freeway. Yes. We were the hosts. We are "those people"... strewing our wardrobe (and one hiking boot) along the expansive stretch of desert also known as the I15 Northbound... Our toiletries may have been buzzard bait and our pillows comfort for a random passerby. We likely left the other travelers perplexed, leaving them to wonder who the white clutter hobos are who dumped belongings out a window or how the random litter came to be..... The mysterious answer to that oft pondered question when you see a t shirt or one shoe or someone's lunch on the side of the road? Well, I can't answer for them all, a gust of wind through open windows? In our case, the Flippin' zipper broke on the Kangaroo bag on top of the car!!!! At least the dog wasn't tied to the bumper?! Sandi, my dear jewelry selling friend, I need another pair of earrings... again. :( And, who was that admiring my zip up pink overnight bag, just last weekend?? Susan?? Candy?? You can find it somewhere up the 15... CA... UT... AZ... NV... who knows?! :) BTW... I lost the 5 yr Old's Minecraft and Lego shirts. Oh the horror....

I think the best news is that I had a good excuse to buy new stuff. I learned that the pickin's are a bit slim in St. George. On the plus side, I had no idea that Sears still sells Gloria Vanderbuilt, or that I would like the fit now that I have hit my mid 40's. Who knows what lessons our next family roadtrip holds.

#zippersarefallible #GloriaVanderbuiltwilldo

Take 2

So... what makes a better story than finding out you littered your belongings somewhere across a 4 state stretch of the I15 Northbound within the last hour of your journey?

How about getting skunked?

And, by this, I do NOT mean we went fishing and didn't catch anything. There was an actual fluffy tailed feline involved. (I truly had no idea skunks were from the cat family?). And, it sprayed us. By us I mean: the dog (darned good aim too...right between the eyes), the 7 yr old, the hubby, and yours truly. The latter three in.the.head. Let that sink in. The top of the head. While sleeping. At about 5AM a few Saturdays ago. It's taken that long to extinguish MOST of the odor. By the way, oil based skunk spray (ok... ok... urine... ewww)... for those of you who don't know, does not easily come out of hair, fabric etc. Though I will testify that straight, thin hair does seem to bear an advantage over thick and curly for you scientists out there. (I have thick, curly hair so I am qualified to compare.) Also, at point blank distance, skunk urine smells little like eau de dead skunk on the side of the road. It's worse. Much, much worse. And, by much worse, I mean other, intensely foul odors are a relief to the senses. It is toe curling, eye watering, nose burning, vomit tasting disgusting, and that is even underplaying it. The dog couldn't wait to get away from it. She rolled in the dirt, pawed at her eyes and relieved herself to start. We covered our noses, cried a little and then, finally, sat by the campfire in the early morning (Did I mention that water intensifies the smell, even now, 3 weeks later?) rain. And laughed hysterically. The laughing so hard you are crying emoji just doesn't cover it. We need a new emoji... I am going to hold a contest: toss up between "laughing so hard you are peeing" emoji and "deadpan skunky smelling" emoji.

Yes. We laughed. So hard we cried AND peed. Like crazy rednecks. Who get sprayed with skunk urine.. Yea. It rained. Right after we were skunked. And right before the dog went to the groomer and I went to the hotel, to wash my hair, many, many, MANY times. About 15 to be fairly exact...sometimes with grease cutting dishwashing soap. I love me some Dawn but that doesn't cut it unfortunately. I then still decided to get the shortest hair cut this head has seen in 20 years. That lovely little salon on Del Mar took me in. BLESS THEM. Despite the smell. Do they ever have a new story to tell? Why was that blonde woman (with the thick, curly hair that they couldn't see) walking up (all the way up as I had to find parking somewhere) Del Mar (just the main drag in downtown San Clemente where everyone in town is on a Saturday morning) with a white hotel towel wrapped around her head in camping clothes?? I am pretty sure I left there a legend. And... though they did their best... and it was a pretty darned decent effort. It.Still.smells... In the shower especially. Something about the wetness... and the enclosure. You know, I always wanted one of those huge showers with no door... and two showerheads. I just never really knew why. Before now. I could wash, rinse and repeat even faster.

I also used to think skunks were cute. They are not cute. I officially change the name of Puffy, the now ironic seeming, stuffed, black skunk with the adorable white stripe that I carried until it was falling apart when I was a child to STINKY. My alternative name is NOT child friendly. Starts with a little and ends with an -er ending F word used as a noun. Allison, my friend, you might appreciate that English language usage discussion. Anyhoo... mom, your lack of camping interest (all of 30 minutes that weekend) seems far wiser than your years. I should've stuck with the hotel room I had booked. And paid for. True story. Would've been cheaper than the grooming bills created by the incident that will now forever be dubbed "the skunking." Why I was sleeping outside of a tent and the story that led up to the skunking is another story for another day.

My favorite advice? Because this happened at the camping event celebrating the 18th birthday of the child who was not directly involved in said incident? Change the theme of the event to: happy birthday little stinker. Thank you Ginger, for that giggle in the middle of what can best be described as a rough day. Also, this one's for you Laura, my advice to you, my Vocal friends: listen to your friends. They are watching out for you when they attempt, multiple times, to warn you that San Clemente State Beach has a skunk infestation.

Consider yourself warned. And, lesson learned.

#skunksarenotcute #tentsaregood