Dating a Thai Girl

So you decide to travel to Thailand and you meet some girls. You hear all of the stories about bar girls and go-go dancers. I won't lie to you, a lot if not most of them are true. Let's face it these girls are looking to make money and when they work in a tourist area where they pull in as much as an educated person will in one of our more developed countries, plus get to party for free, why would they ever want to get away from that? Sure they may need a break but unless you want to party all the time and roll out some serious bank on a girl to keep her happy, they do not make an ideal housewife most of the time. Some of them are alright, don't get me wrong. I know a few that are actually more decent than 99% of the other Thai women I have had encounters with. But before you decide to even bother attempting anything that relates to commitment you should read what I have to tell you. This article obviously does not reflect every woman in Thailand. However if you consider who the girls I use as personal examples are and what their occupations are you will understand why I say a bar girl may not be so bad. At least you know whats going on with one of them. For discretion I will use the girls nick names as they are pretty common.

An Educated Girl From the North

I wen't to Isaan to the city of Bueng Kan to get away from the crazy party life of Patong and mend a broken heart over my own stupid choices in getting involved with a girl working bar. I met a girl there, Supranee and honestly at first she seemed alright. After about a month she settled in with me and things started to change. First and foremost she was always jealous of my past. Constantly harping on me about things she knew nothing about. After another month she started to pry into my personal life quite a bit. When I say pry into my personal life I mean things like messaging ex girlfriends and randomly adding people off my Facebook account. This went on for a little bit longer and I started to get suspicious. I normally look at peoples actions like that as an admission of their own guilt.

Sure enough about 3 days later I saw a string of messages come up on her lock screen from some guy in Germany. They were making plans to be together and I don't really need to tell you the rest, I'm sure you can figure it out. Now Supranee worked at a car dealership, she had a really good job. Her parents were good hardworking people and she was educated by Thai Standards.

I confronted her and of course there were problems, she lied and said it wouldn't happen again and all that nonsense. I said OK and we tried to continue our relationship. I wanted to head back to Phuket and have her wait on me up North. I just wanted to go shoot some video footage and see some friends. She decided she wanted to move to Pattaya, a party city where many tourists go to have sex with Thai women and drink until they can't stand. So at that point things ended, or so I thought.

A couple months later Supranee wanted to come to Patong to find work. Her relationship didn't work out the way she planned with the German guy (yeah that was still going) and she had returned home and said she couldn't find a job. She had a young daughter at the time and needed money for her.

Foolishly, both because I really liked her daughter and I needed help with some stuff in my townhouse, I told her OK she could come stay with me. That's when the nightmare really started.

Supranee got a job at a hotel, a major step down from where she was working up North. She then started again to get inject herself in my personal life and literally drove me mad. I can honestly say I believe I was clinically insane for a while from this girl. Again I found she was involving herself with other guys online and wanted to go party and live the life. The whole time she did this and complained I wouldn't give her money, she totally looked down on and talked bad about bar girls. She hated them. But she was acting no better. If anything she was acting worse.

About a month later after some serious drama I needed to go home to Canada. I really just needed to go home, I was going to kill this woman. I could get her to leave and she was driving me crazy. Her old boss even offered her old job back to her. She wouldn't take it, even though both my friend from Australia and I told her to go. Once I returned home it took her about 3 days to start working freelance for drinks at a bar in OTOP in Patong and she ended up going home with a guy.

It still took me months after flat out catching her to get her to leave me alone and I was on the other side of the world. I blocked her, i told her to go away, I did everything I could but she was relentless. Again this was an educated woman from North Eastern Thailand. Not a bar girl. When I returned to Patong about 15 months later she again started talking to me, even though she had a boyfriend. It took her 3 weeks and she started asking me for money to help her daughter.

A Police Officer in Bangkok

I was living in Bangkok and really just had no faith in Thai women at this point. But I was bored, so I hopped on a dating site and did the swiping. I came across a girl that had photos of her travels so I knew she could get visas and afford her own life. She went by Pang and I swiped right. That was mistake number one.

We got to talking and she told me she was a police officer. I didn't believe it at first, I thought it was a joke. She is short, small and only 27 at the time. But she sent me a photo and sure thing she was. This to me was a plus. Surely someone who is a member of the Royal Thai Police, in Bangkok, under the modern rule of the new King is someone who has a good character. That was mistake number two.

I then noticed that she had several nick names she used P-Kho, Sassiko, Pang, none were actually her name. I didn't think much of it at the time but that is a bit strange even for Thais. Anyways we started to see each other and hit it off. The only offsetting thing that she did was hop into bed with me right away, but I'll be honest, I have met many Thai women that say they don't do that, and they all do that. Because she was a Police Officer and an upstanding Thai citizen I went ahead and deleted the dating app from my phone. I didn't delete my account because it was still early in our relationship but I figured I should at least give things a fair chance.

After about three weeks she started having to work late and didn't have time for me any more except a few nights a week. She would basically come over, we would have sex and she would pass out. One day my spider sense tingled and I thought, I wonder if she is till on the dating app. So I reinstalled it and low and behold, she was, and frequently. Again in hindsight with the way she performed oral I should have realized she had more mileage on her than a 5 year old taxi in New York City, but that's hindsight. I figured the relationship was still new and I should just let it be. So yes, that was mistake number 3.

She went on a trip to Morocco for a week and I had talked to her about staying off dating apps. She agreed but when I checked she was still going on there. Then she vanished for 3 days. Now again, I will admit I am a dope and I thought her job made her a better person than she was. I was wrong. She then lied to me again that she wasn't on the site and when she did come clean, said it was so I didn't worry. Did I mention I was a huge dope?

So our relationship was fine again for a couple weeks and then she started obsessing over her phone. She had to work late and things kept getting worse and worse. I asked the usual questions, like was there another guy, where was she really and all that. She just flat out lied to me. Again this is a Police Officer. Now remember when I said bar girls may not be so bad? I had the same issue with one I was keeping around and when I confronted her she just said "yeah".

Eventually the relationship ended horribly. I caught Pang in a web of lies and really I doubt I will ever know the amount of crap she was peddling. The way she acted she may not have been a Police Officer at all, maybe just a freelance prostitute. The only good thing about this particular relationship was I had caught on to what was going on about 2 weeks prior to our final fall out. I smile every time I think that 20 minutes before Pang was in my room last and we had intercourse several times that Saturday afternoon, she had woken me up from sleeping at 3 pm because I was up all night with a 19 year old girl that was an aspiring model and I have a fancy camera. Too bad I can't post those pictures.

Again there were more lies and tricks being played with a Police Officer than a bar girl would ever pull. You expect it from a bar girl, when you give them the benefit of the doubt its your own fault and they even see it that way. Police being no better or worse than a prostitute, that was a new one for me, even in Thailand. Mind you I probably should have known she was how she was when she let me take a video of her performing oral and I sent it to all my friends at new years. Again hindsight.

The Bar Girl

So since I listed 2 girls that you would think would be better than a bar girl, here is some info about my experience with bar girls. I have more experience with them than I should, but in all honesty I respect them a lot more than any of the "regular" Thai women I have come across at this point.

So I was living in Patong and I had this super cute, short girl from Udon Thani stay with me. Now I knew some of the deal with the games that go down with these guys and where they work so I was on guard 60% of the time. The first couple months were great, we partied, she made money off me buying her drinks and lord only knows who and what she did when I wasn't around. At the time I had feelings but looking back, what could I expect it was her job. She never really asked me for much and she took really good care of me. Then one night I wen't to pick her up and an old customer had come back for her. So that ended that. Again, what exactly more could I expect. From other stories I had heard about dealing with these guys I got off light.

After that I had another one stay with me from outside Pattaya. Again she was alright but acted up a bit more than the first. She would take off some nights and just not come back until the early morning. Eventually she rode half way with me up North before I got bored and sent her to her moms by train. I never saw her again, but that was about as bad as it got. She didn't work bar the whole time she was with me so I did have to support her but it was nothing beyond what I should have expected living with a bar girl. I knew she had a Thai boyfriend in her moms town and I am sure they lived very happily together after I sent her back.

A while after that I ended up hooking back up with girl number one. I actually used to have a lot of fun with her and there was that familiarity in a strange place thing going on. She ended up leaving her job but her mom wanted more, I caught her talking to other guys about hooking up because she needed to give her mom more money and I was trying to get our home and life in order. I didn't feel I needed to support both. Things ended in the typical drama and I later found out about days when she went off with several customers for "short times" after I dropped her at work. Now the interesting thing about that, is this girl actually went and did all this stuff to make money and didn't ask me for any. She actually never came out and asked me for money. She also did her job and I was aware what that was and why she was doing it so really, I shouldn't have been surprised at all.

So there you have a comparison. There is an University Educated Thai woman, that is a single mother of one. There is a member of the Royal Thai Police and a condensed version of living with some bar girls for about 6 months total. As you can see from what I am saying, with the first 2 girls, who consider themselves better than a prostitute, they actually acted worse. With the girls that worked bar, I didn't even get what I paid for because they cost me less than the girls with so called good jobs. Now that doesn't mean you should run out and marry a hooker, but if you consider most men have similar experiences with Thai women from all walks of life you may want to look elsewhere if you want anything serious. The Thai women I dated are basically nothing more than over sexually active cats with the mentality of a 5 year old child. They like to be touched and petted and will run off the first time someone else jingles a bell in their face. I have many friends that have visited Thailand that never have anything nice to say about the girls. We do not all hang out in tourist spots and again, my one example is a cop.

Personally the only Thai women I can say you can trust in my experience are bar girls. They know their job, you know their job, they do their job. They get looked down upon by the educated who still jump from man to man looking for money, they get arrested by ones who are far more dishonest and have no honor in their personal lives while holding a post that reflects directly on the country. They do what they need to do to make money and we know what that is, but they still put up with us persecuting when they do exactly what we know they are here to do. They will take you for everything you have and you know that going in, but in the end you will still look back and say hey, I had a lot of fun with that chick. If you can't say that then I have to ask a simple question, why didn't you drop her and get another?

I hope you find this article helpful and informative. I wish you all the best in your travels to Phuket, Thailand and anywhere else you decide to go. Remember you are in a different culture they put on a face for us so we enjoy ourselves and spend money. Thanks for your support in reading this and check out some of my more interesting articles if you would like to know more about travelling Phuket and more!