Capri: A Naughty Dash to Italy's Finest Island

I’m not supposed to go to Capri until tomorrow—with the group, but... we have a free day and the anticipation of this magical, exclusive place is eating away at a few of us. For the sake of our internal organs and mental health, we go ROUGE and jump on a bus from Agerola to Amalfi, to then catch a ferry to CAPRI! #naughtysmack 👋

The bus ride is chaos. Picture 60 people on a 30 seater bus. People on people... on people, speeding down cliff-side hairpins on a narrow one way street. Only... it isn't a one way street and we are constantly breaking hard to see if we can survive the tiny gap between traffic and cliff edge. Joy. The sheer weight of the bus around the turns... I was sure we were to topple over the edge. There are no railings or stuffs given by the Italians.

This is it, I'm going to die. There are so many ways, by spectacular cliff tumble, suffocation in the human crush machine that is this "bus," or drowning in my own vomit 🤢 . Some Aussies break out into Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" as I watch a girl's cheeks reach capacity and her boyfriend scream to the driver, "STOP! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" The girl proceeds to release last nights Margherita* back into the world. Joy. Joy. Joy.

We make it. I am still alive to see Capri. My god it better be good. At Amalfi, we ride the ferry peacefully, with arms around each other, dwelling on the near death experience that has just bonded us travel buddies together for life. The views are astounding. Blue water, stunning cliffs, mountains, caves, and after 45 minutes, Capri.

Then the news we CANNOT HANDLE, we have to catch another bus up to Ana Capri. Gulp! Dry reach and deep groan, we pay two euro and hand ourselves over to the hairpin gods again. It's ok. No one dies. We all arrive having finally lost all superfluous connecting words and gained arm waving and volume—true Italians!

And then... we try and die for a third time! This chairlift was insane, like everything in Italy** 😬

Living life on the edge, literally. I start to smile, booming! It scares the shit out of me but I want to do it SO BAD. I'm a thrill seeker now, near death is addictive GET IN! The chairlift takes forever and it's actually very peaceful up there. Some people play classical music on their phones as they take in the view, it's almost spiritual. It's a single seater, just you and that view.

At the top, I loose my mind. It's gone, it fell of the chairlift, rolled to the bottom where I collect it later. Blown away! 360 views of the Isle of Capri. In-frikin-sane! I almost don't remember being up there. It was like I was in a state of flow. I turned into a five year old, just running and snapping and giggling. Climbing things! Trees, swinging seats. Complete regression to childhood. I also had the urge to smoke a cigarette.. .

So what to do after an epic day out with the grim reaper and your five-year-old self... avoid that bus and all pack into an open top taxi down that cliff road and sing Sia's "...swing from the chandalieeeeeeer..." because you are alive. VERY ALIVE!

Hehe, this is living! This is Italy!

Ciao x

* 🥕+ 🍍 standard chunks.

**There are no idiots in Italy. They are all dead. No signs, no warnings, no rules. Every man for himself. Natural selection at its best 💀