Aint Nuthin So Purty

“Sir, if you don’t mind. I mean you no mind and would rather you lowered the shotgun.”

“No more drifters, turn around and gonna back the way you come.”

“I can do that, not a problem, but would rather speak with you first.”

“You git what you git, and don’t throw a fit… Whatcha ya wanna talk about?”

“I want to talk to you about your barn.”

“Mah barn is no problem of yours.”

“No it isn’t but it could be.”

“How do ya mean?”

“I would like to paint it”

“Stop yabberin’ gibberish”

“No sir, I really want to paint it”

“Biggest recession ever rollin’ through the country and you think aah have money to pay you to paint mah barn.”

“I want to paint your barn for free.”

“Now aah am gonna shoot you because you are clearly touched.”

“I am deadly serious. I will say it again I want to paint your barn for free.”

“Whatcha you gonna use… good intentions?”

“You see that truck over there up on the ridge. We have the paint and I also have two friends to help and I want to talk to you about paintin’ your barn for free.”

“What’s the catch?”

“I want you let me write somethin’ on the roof.”

“More madness why does any man wanna to paint words on mah roof?”

“I represent a businessman in Georgia. He has a business he wants to tell people about. Your barn can be seen by the main road. We are, how you say, of use to each other.”

“Go on…”

“If I can write a message on your roof I will paint your whole barn for free.”

“Sounds unchristian.”

“Not at all.”

“Then what mischief is this?”

“No mischief.”

“Are you tryin tah make me look like a fool boy?”

“No sir.”

“It donna sound American.”

“It’s as American as apple pie.”

“Well it donna sound Southern.”

“It’s as Southern as sweet tea.”

“There has to be a catch. Why are y’all doin’ this?”

“It just landed in my lap, five weeks ago I was bottlin’ buttermilk, then a gentleman put a brush in my hand. He thought I was good at it so kept puttin’ a brush in my hand and I haven’t bottled any buttermilk since.”

“Hmmmm…”

“Sir it is one of them win win scenarios. Not only will I do it for free I will give you free passes to my bosses’ attraction to redeem wheneva you like.”

“And?”

“A bathmat.”

“And?”

“A thermometer.”

“And?”

“Two dollars.”

“And?”

“I will even come back every two years with the same offer and repaint your barn again.”

“Hmmmm…”

“So what do you say?”

“Y’all better gonna get your friends and drive in, y’all can sleep in the barn tonight and start in the mornin’.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“One more thin’.”

“What?”

“Aah expectin you cleaned up and presentable by eight.”

“Why?”

“Mah Mary, will have a table set and you come on up to the main house and sit as our guests.”

“Yes sir.”

“Y’all had better be hungry, Mary’s the real boss so you better chuck in a couple of extra bath mats and bring with y’all your best table manners.”

“So what was all this?”

“Aah am jus the gatekeeper, but if you’ve got pas me and the gun aah reckon y’all halfway there.”

Rock City is a tourist attraction on Lookout Mountain in Lookout Mountain, Georgia. It opened in May 1932, the attraction gained prominence after the owners Garnet and Frieda Carter hired Clark Byers in 1935 to paint "See Rock City" barn advertisements throughout the Southeast and Midwest United States; Byers painted over 900 barn roofs and walls, in nineteen states, by 1969.

Rock City's owners offered barn owners a free paint job and Rock City souvenirs in exchange for allowing Byers to place their marketing message on the barns.

Because the barns came in various shapes and sizes, each sign was different, but all featured white lettering on a black background, executed in freehand. The number of words and their arrangement varied, based on the size and shape of the barn. On larger barns, Byers might have painted "See 7 States from ROCK CITY atop Lookout Mt. near Chattanooga, Tenn." and on smaller barns, just "See Beautiful ROCK CITY today."

Byers' efforts led to Rock City, Lookout Mountain, and Chattanooga becoming a national tourist destination.

Byer’s definitely left his mark on the south and is today seen as a prominent folk artist in the visual history of the States. The few remaining barns left today are preserved and kept as part of the historical legacy of Americana.

This is part of a number of articles have written that tell their story using only dialogue, no tags or description. You can find two more here.