A Different Kind of Success

As people it’s natural we go through a number of unique and sometimes confusing phases of life. We are creatures consistently fleeting to and craving change. New seasons often bring new people, new ideas, and new opportunities that are continuously building themselves on top of each other. Sometimes leading to futures and moments we hoped for and other times to lessons we didn’t know we needed.

I’m here to talk about one of those potentially inevitable mental phases that could be festering in the back of your mind as you read this. This phase normally blooms amongst adolescents around the age of 18—when you hit your mid-life crisis, and can include ideas of airplane tickets, foreign lovers, new languages, and sometimes even fear. Maybe you’re like me and just finished earning your wonderful, fantastic, life changing, (you guessed it), college degree, and now you’re trying to figure out where to go next. It can be a scary time for the human psyche. For some of us, it’s the first time we’re allowed to choose the direction of our path, not destined to another year of school or held to the confinements of rules under our parent’s roof. It’s also maybe the first time you live under your own roof and can now relate to the collective pain felt when hearing the word “rent.” Whatever the case, it’s a time when you finally have the freedom to choose what direction you’re headed for, and let’s be honest, sometimes this freedom can feel like more of a curse than a blessing.

Growing up in the USA, it’s hard to avoid the question: “What do I do post grad?” with any other answer besides “get a job, duh.” Well, yes. Thanks to the lovely realities of rent and our consistent urge to eat as human beings, a way of making an income is indeed a priority. It’s not a fun reality to swallow and can often be overwhelming. The idea of working in an office from 8-5 on a daily basis is not everyone’s cup of tea, even though we’re often told it should be. Maybe instead of this 8-5 productivity nightmare, you want to harp on this festering phase. The one with the airplanes and foreign lovers, that is slowly creeping its way in and killing any chance of productivity or money spent on a business professional suit. As someone who has grappled with this obsessive desire for a life outside of the expected norm, I’m here to reassure you this feigning is indeed natural. It’s a phase of curiosity thousands of us encounter, and are maybe yet to encounter, and I feel a responsibility to spread the word that it’s a mental inclination you should not ignore, for I’m sure glad I didn’t.

I’m currently living and working as an Assistant de Langue, or as we native English speakers say: English Assistant in France. Did I get a degree in teaching? No. Did I even get a degree in French? Definitely not... However, I did get two degrees in International Affairs and English. You’re probably thinking International Affairs and English, so that’s why she’s over there teaching English as a foreign language. Probably killing time as she tries to figure out what to “actually” do with her life. To assume that is a shame because ESL is a rewarding and special experience, but you’re also partly right. I finished school with no dream career title in mind or perfect job lined up. However, I did have something else: an inclination to see the world beyond my native country and more importantly to see if I could handle it. This idea, that was once nothing but a dream, became all-encompassing and inescapable, and with the stars aligned, eventually led me here to France. After being here for about two and a half months now, what I’ve come to find is that this decision to harp on my desires to explore and test myself in a foreign country is ironically doing more for me than any 8-5 job in the states ever could have.

After living in France for some time now and having the chance to digest my new-found perspectives, it’s easy to look back and see how the “success” culture of the USA had come to shape my choices and emotions as a citizen in the past. I was another victim stressing in this whirlpool of what seems like an addiction to productivity. I find we are currently living in an age where it's common to feel like who we are is defined by the career title we can place at the top of our LinkedIn Profile. When we focus on today’s youth, the value placed on having crazy Instagram-able pictures from the weekend or the unnatural six packs young boys and girls physically drain themselves for, have all made their way to the top of the priority list. The value of our time has become ranked by its measurement in productivity and reassurance of quality from others. Without such productivity or a plan, guilt can linger and eat away at our minds day by day. This is a great concept for the success of a country that prides itself off of economic power and capitalistic wealth, but imagine a world where we place just as much importance on the parts of life that focus on the importance of human connections and inner peace, the productivity of figuring out who we are as people with or without approval of today’s ridiculously high societal standards.

As I write this as an expat abroad, for once instead of feeling burrowed in a hole of expectations and pressure to be successful, I’ve had the chance to appreciate the kind of productivity that consists of learning about myself in ways I haven’t been able to do before. I am appreciating my abilities to connect with people through a language other than my mother tongue, to throw myself in social situations where I have no idea what the outcome is going to be, and coming out not only alive, but thriving amongst fellow open-minded curiously wandering souls. I may be poorer than I’ve ever been and get lonely from time to time, but I’ve gained a new depth of understanding of what it’s like to feel like an outsider looking in and have gained a greater level of appreciation for the comfort felt with loved ones back home. All these situational moments, the good, the bad, the sometimes incredibly confusing (French is not an easy language, let me tell you) working together to prove the strength I hoped I had inside really does exist. Being abroad has given me a chance to escape the career productivity storm and take a breath of clarity I didn’t know I needed.

These experiences and new lessons learnt may not be at the top of my LinkedIn Profile, or make a glimpse on a resume that I’ll one day use to apply for a stable job, but together have shown me what it means to be in touch with my growth as a living breathing human being. As people, we are so much more than what we can put on paper or the internet. If you’re someone feeling like the 2019 world of productivity is cutting your potential for life short or that you just don’t fit the mold that everyone seems so okay to accept and embrace, if you feel that inclination to see what you are truly made of through an experience in a place that is anything but familiar, take it from me: Take the leap, buy the ticket, or you’ll spend too long wondering what life would be like if you had.