5 Night Jamaican "Dream Cruise" Ends up a Nightmare, Sort Of

I decided to take an Ocean Cruise with my husband aboard Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas. It was called the 5-Night Jamaican Dream Cruise, labeled as adults-only because the date coincided with Spring Break. We expected there to be a few party-goers onboard, but not an ongoing raucous rave party.

First-time cruisers learning the ropes

I had never been on a cruise before and wanted to see what it was like. Plus, I got a great interline deal (my husband is a retired airline employee, and I was a travel consultant). The rate I booked started out at $99 per person. I chose the upgraded outside cabin with a balcony making it become $125 per person.

I learned the hard way about all the add-ons that really end up costing you way more than you bargained for. Even with a steeply discounted interline rate, we ended up spending way more than originally planned due to the necessity of having to add some of these package “deals.”

We added the Internet package; 1 VOOM Surf + STREAM Voyage Package - 4 Devices, and Deluxe Beverage package for Adults 21+ at $324.50 per person. We then paid $649 total for the two of us to start this cruise. (It seemed like a great bargain until I learned more about what type of cruise this turned out to be.)

Miami Cruise Port is very busy and crowded with ships & people

We flew to Miami International Airport (basically free because of our flight benefits), landing just in time to get to the Miami Cruise Port via Uber. We were supposed to start boarding the ship around 2 pm for a departure time of 5 pm. The terminal seemed a bit worn, and hundreds of people lined up inside the lobby waiting area. It was pre-pandemic, so nobody practiced social distancing.

They were running a bit late, still cleaning up the ship from the last cruise. After walking up the gangplank and getting our IDs/Passport checked we were led to our cabin. It seemed a bit snug even with a separate sofa area. Being able to walk out on the balcony made the room feel a lot bigger. Plus, it was nice to get an Ocean breeze. There was an announcement over the loudspeaker that everyone had to immediately go out to the nearest deck for a safety drill. We lined up, finished our presentation, and headed back to the room.

We quickly set up WiFi and figured out where we could go to dinner. We had several restaurant choices and wanted to quickly get a window-side seat before the rush of the dinner crowd. It was a great way to start cruising out of the Port of Miami with a floor-to-ceiling panoramic vista view. The ship was moving slowly, and everything felt smooth and comfortable while we ate.

The first port of stop was in Nassau, Bahamas. We got there late in the night when everyone was asleep. It was nice to wake up first thing in the morning and look outside to see the beautiful sight of where we were. After breakfast, we went to explore Nassau on foot.

Hundreds of us piled off the ship, seemingly all at once in a bottleneck, heading towards the shanty tourist town where they want you to spend lots of money on junk. After a quick walk-through, we decided to walk about 15 minutes further out to where the Atlantis resort was located on Paradise Island. We found a clean sandy-white beach called Cove Beach while walking around the Atlantis resort. We discovered a wristband was required to get through specific entrances outside, but they let us eat at an outdoor restaurant for lunch. It was so-so. The Aquarium nearby was sort of interesting.

It was getting pretty hot outside on our way back, so we stopped at a bicycle place to consider renting bikes. We first talked with a young guy who said his Uncle could take us back to the ship port in his car. The Uncle proposed he would give us an impromptu tour around the Island in his beat-up old car that smelled heavily like cigarette smoke. What-the-hell we thought and off we went. When he discovered that we were from Texas, he talked about Anna Nicole Smith, a Texan, and how she died in the Bahamas. He eagerly asked if we wanted to see her grave. Not really, we said, shrugging, but he took us there anyway. He also showed us the Bahamian hospital where she ended up last. Her grave was in a modest cemetery on the other side of the island. At least we got to see around the island for a bit.

He dropped us off at the Queen’s Staircase, where all tourists go to see and learn about the history of the slave trade to the Bahamas. It’s Fort Fincastle, built in the late 1700s. The staircase is named after Britain’s Queen Victoria. Our driver got his $20.

At the bottom of the steps was this old, gnarly disabled dude who insisted we stop to hear a story from him that lasted about 20 minutes. We obliged, along with a few other tourists, to listen to what he had to say about this bit of history. We gave him $20 after hearing his amusing anecdotes and history of the area.

Ascending the staircase next, we made it to the top and headed over for the birds-eye view atop Fort Fincastle. I took some photos, stepped inside the small, dank prison with no air, and walked back down to the port through the tourist shops. We did stop and buy two tourist beach towels since we didn’t bring any and couldn’t bring the ones from the ship to shore. Thus we contributed another $20 to the Nassau tourism industry.

Back on board the ship, we got cleaned, dressed, and ready to try the lovely Japanese Restaurant for dinner.

We explored the rest of the ship that evening, which was reasonably quiet. Although the jacuzzies were full of people, it wasn’t too loud.

It was not until we walked through the central area of the ship near the boutique shops that we heard loud music blaring from a live band perched somewhere atop. The noise was deafening. I mean, super loud. Louder than when you are in the front row of a rock concert. I think that’s because the music echoed off the interior like a ricochet between all 14 decks.

That’s how loud it was. It was nightmarish and the worst part of the trip. It was hard to sleep.

The next day, strolling around a bit groggily, we stopped at a bar to hang out and talk with people. An RCCL employee hosted a trivia game which we joined for easy fun. We asked him later about the music noise level going all night and what was up with that?

He said this cruise was partially chartered by a group attending the annual Jamaican Dream Week festival. They needed to fill more space, so they let out some rooms for interline and other discounted rates last minute. That’s how we discovered why this special cruise deal was so cheap.

During the day, the party-goers filled all the pools, many half-naked or more. I’m not saying that to be a prude. Still, seeing a glittery sock over some guy’s penis or a quite overweight, bosomy woman with pasties on her nipples and a shiny gold G-string barely covering up her nether regions was shocking. That’s another reason why this particular cruise was adults-only.

It made for an interesting mix of people on the ship, that’s for sure. Young, energetic party-goers and older repeat cruisers all seemed to get along for the most part. We were in the middle of all this, just observing as first-timers.

It was fun to watch the people use the surfrider wave machine as well as all the other sporting activities one could do on board the ship while we sailed around Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, heading towards Jamaica. We arrived in Montego Bay, Jamaica, the following morning.

This time heading off the ship after a sumptuous breakfast, we went straight to Doctor’s Cave Beach, where we heard it was the best beach. Getting there required a taxi which we shared with some other ship-goers. One lady from Alabama was “disgusted” at seeing the amount of “nakedness” and partying on the ship. We told her it was partially chartered for the Dream Week music festival, which we hadn’t known beforehand. She scoffed and said she would try switching to another ship at Port to get away from it.

At Doctor’s Cave Beach, we discovered it would cost about $40 to get a spot at the beach, along with chairs, an umbrella, and wait service for food and drinks. It was hilarious how some random guy kept asking me, “Boss Lady, you want some weed?” I chuckled and said no thanks. “But Boss Lady, I got the best Ganja for you!” Why he kept bugging me, I don’t know. He did stop bothering me once he found another tourist lady. We got our beach gear, found a nice spot at the beach, and proceeded to relax so our ears could finally stop ringing.

Relaxing in the shade on a beautiful sunny day, we lost track of time. We suddenly realized we were running late to get back to the ship. They were strict about when you had to return so the crew could count all the people.

We started to flag a taxi down but quickly found that all the other ship goers were doing the same. Finding one that was empty or had room to share was getting hard. We started asking around and ended up finding a young boy off one of the side streets who was willing for $20 to take us back to the port.

We got there just in time to discover that one of the gates outside the ship was locked, and had to run around the complex to find an opening. Spotting a security check entrance, we ran over just in time to get back onboard. We weren’t the only ones making a mad dash to get back. We assumed they would wait until all passengers were boarded before leaving. I had seen stories about passengers being left behind on other cruise ships, and now I learned how that could happen.

We met some nice people going to the Dream Week festival along the way. One young woman was also making it a point to visit her Grandmother in Jamaica. I didn’t realize so many people from the East Coast also made it a point to hop on board this particular cruise for the event. Lesson learned about Spring Break vs. Dream Week cruise ship sailings.

That night we had another nice dinner, which was very elegant, talked with others seated near our table, and had an enjoyable time. By now, we were used to the loud thump-thump-thump music outside. When we returned to our cabin, we were surprised to find a towel monkey hanging from the ceiling light. Along with a nice note from our stateroom attendant. I suppose that’s how they earn an extra $20. You can see the cute little thing here on my Instagram.

Would we do it again? Mmmm, not this particular cruise sailing, but I would be more careful to ask questions if I were to go on any other cruise ship *deal*. Since cruising is not one of the main travel activities I like to do, I would put it on the back-burner for another day no matter how tempting the steeply discounted rate is. Except if it's a Hurtigruten Cruise to Antarctica...then I would go!

Travel Tip: Make sure you carry a lot of $20 bills with you if you go on a cruise to the Bahamas or Jamaica! lol

And finally, the best part of this cruise was watching the vast expanse of the rolling ocean, especially at sunset.