3 Lessons from Living Abroad in Spain that Changed My Perspective on Life

Living abroad in Spain challenged my perception of what "normal" really means. It made me reevaluate my own habits, lifestyle, values, and ways of doing things. While this transformation was confusing in many ways, it was also liberating. It showed me that the world isn't so black and white, and there is no singular way to live life.

Here are some of the most important lessons I learned while living in Spain that has impacted the way I move through the world:

1. Time is relative.

In the United States, time is money. It is a valuable commodity, and if you are not maximizing it, you are wasting it. When I was in college, I felt lazy if I wasn't using my free time productively. I found myself dashing from one thing to the next. Often, I would have back-to-back activities all day long. If I wanted to hang out with friends, we would all have to check our calendars and squeeze a hangout in when we could.

When I was in Spain, I learned to slow down. If a friend group invited me to hang out, I knew not to plan anything else that day because we would be hanging out the entire day. Meals lasted three or more hours, and the waiters were in no rush to kick us out of the restaurant. In fact, there were more than a few times when we had to call the waiter several times to get the bill.

In Spain, I learned that there was another way to conceptualize time. Free time is not wasted time, and spending quality time with others doesn't mean you are lazy. Taking off that time didn't make the world stop or ruin my life plans. It allowed me to slow down, enjoy myself and others' company, and make deep connections with the people I was with.

2. Age is a social construct.

In general, there are societal constructs in the U.S. that define what is and isn't okay to do at a certain age. There is a lot of pressure to achieve certain milestones by a certain age – establish a career, start a family, own a nice house, etc. I remember entering into my last year of college and feeling as if I had "aged-out" of many things that I liked to do at the young age of 21!

Spain changed my perception of what you "can or can't" do at a certain age. I noticed that the people I interacted with had no reservations about telling you their age. I saw people proudly declaring their age without embarrassment or trying to avoid the topic like I've seen many times in the United States. Additionally, I met so many people who didn't let age stop them from doing what they loved, taking care of themselves, or just generally having fun. I also spent a whole year-and-a-half free without hearing, "I'm getting too old," which is something that I experience all the time at home (and have been guilty of saying myself). No one seemed to care about what I was trying to achieve by the age of 25 or stress about being "behind" in life. My experiences with age in Spain had me thinking – why are we so ashamed of aging in the U.S.? Why do we feel that we need to hide our age or pretend that we're younger? Also, why do we need to achieve certain things by a certain age?

3. What you do for a living doesn't define your worth.

Another thing that I didn't hear for an entire year-and-a-half was bragging about what people did for a living. People talked about professions as something that they did for a living, but not as something that was a measure of their character. I noticed that people did not define their identities by their professions as much as people do in the U.S.; it was merely a part of their life.

This contrasted the mentality that was ingrained into me throughout high school and college. I was used to certain careers being prestigious careers. Many parents compare their children's accomplishments based on their professional achievements. Stepping away from that mindset was definitely eye-opening because it made me realize you can establish value in your life in more than one way.

What I learned:

When I returned to the U.S., I found it difficult at first to reconcile my experiences abroad with my life at home. I often saw my lifestyles in Spain and the U.S. as being on opposite ends of a continuum. It was difficult to readjust to a fast-paced lifestyle in the U.S. However, little-by-little, I realized that I could hold space for both approaches. I could incorporate elements of what I learned abroad into my daily life. It helped me feel less pressure about where I am in life and what I should be doing by a certain age.

While not everything I learned in Spain works at home, knowing that there is more than one way to look at life is reassuring.