Your Vibration Did Not Rape You

Abraham Hicks was one of the first spiritual teachers I learned from, and I respect the work. The movie The Secret and her subsequent teachings opened a lot of doors in my perception at the time.

I can acknowledge what I received from those teachings without swallowing every spiritual claim attached to them.

And Abraham Hicks certainly isn’t the only place these ideas come from.

Over the past several years, particularly with social media and the rapid sharing of spiritual and self-development content, there has been an enormous boom in “manifestation” language.

You create your own reality.

You attract what you are.

Everything is vibration.

Your thoughts become things.

Raise your frequency.

Don’t focus on what you don’t want.

If something unwanted keeps appearing, look at what you are energetically creating.

Some of these ideas can be useful when understood as tools for self-awareness and intentional living.

But there is a line between personal agency and magical thinking, and that line matters.

Because eventually the question becomes:

Okay.

Then explain rape.

Explain child sexual abuse.

Explain domestic violence.

Explain war.

Explain genocide.

Explain a woman being assaulted because a man decided he was entitled to her body.

Explain a child being abused by an adult.

Explain a woman being denied protection by an institution that is supposed to protect her.

Did the child vibrate incorrectly?

Did the nine-year-old manifest the predator?

Did the woman’s thoughts summon the assault?

Did the murdered family collectively fail to maintain a sufficiently high frequency?

This is where spiritual language can become cruel.

There is a psychological truth buried inside some manifestation teachings: our thoughts influence our attention, our choices, our expectations, and sometimes the environments we continue participating in.

We can change patterns.

We can reclaim agency.

We can become conscious of our conditioning.

We can stop feeding destructive beliefs.

We can make different choices.

We can deliberately move toward a different life instead of remaining on autopilot.

That is agency.

But agency is not omnipotence.

And influencing the direction of your life is not the same thing as controlling every person who enters it.

Someone else has agency too.

A rapist has agency.

An abuser has agency.

A corrupt institution has agency.

A government has agency.

A judge has agency.

A person who decides to violate another human being is making a choice.

That choice does not become the victim’s creation because somebody puts the word “vibration” over a sunset reel.

And I know what happens when this distinction gets deliberately blurred, because I have experienced what it is like to have a spiritual framework you are using to reclaim your agency turned around and used as evidence against you.

When you are studying manifestation, astrology, consciousness, personal responsibility, and the idea that your thoughts and choices can influence the direction of your life, you are trying to become less unconscious.

You are trying to understand your patterns.

You are trying to make better choices.

You are trying to stop repeating what you were conditioned to repeat.

You are trying to listen to your own inner guidance again.

And someone who wants to avoid accountability can take that entire process and invert it.

Suddenly, every good thing that happens proves you created your reality.

But every bad thing does too.

You manifested the opportunity.

You manifested the relationship.

You manifested the beautiful day.

You manifested the concert.

You manifested the money.

You manifested the happiness.

And therefore, apparently, you also manifested the betrayal.

You manifested the manipulation.

You manifested the violence.

You manifested the violation.

You manifested the person else’s decision to harm you.

Notice what just happened.

A philosophy supposedly designed to empower you has been transformed into a closed system in which everything proves that the abuser is innocent and the victim is responsible.

If something good happens, you manifested it.

If something bad happens, you manifested it.

If you object, that reaction is also your vibration.

If you leave, you are creating separation.

If you stay, you are choosing the experience.

If you forgive, you are spiritually evolved.

If you demand accountability, you are holding onto negativity.

There is no possible outcome in which the person doing the harm has to examine their own choices.

That is not spiritual sovereignty.

That is a fucking accountability vacuum.

And this is where spiritual language can become a weapon.

Because an abusive person does not necessarily need to tell you, “Everything that happens to you is your fault.”

They can dress it up.

They can call it manifestation.

They can call it shadow work.

They can call it radical responsibility.

They can call it attachment.

They can call it your trigger.

They can call it your trauma.

They can call it your projection.

They can call it your vibration.

They can call it your lesson.

They can call it a soul contract.

They can call it an opportunity for growth.

The vocabulary changes.

The inversion remains the same.

Your pain becomes evidence against you.

And the person who caused it disappears from the equation.

This is particularly dangerous for people who are already inclined toward over-functioning.

People who have spent their lives trying harder.

Trying to understand.

Trying to be loyal.

Trying to communicate better.

Trying to forgive.

Trying to regulate themselves.

Trying to heal.

Trying to take responsibility.

Trying to become a better person.

Trying to figure out what they did wrong.

Give a person like that a philosophy that says everything in your reality is your creation, and you can create an infinite amount of self-blame.

They will go to another therapy session.

Read another book.

Meditate harder.

Raise their vibration.

Examine another childhood wound.

Apologize again.

Try harder.

Meanwhile, the person who actually made the choice to harm them gets to walk away with a metaphysical alibi.

That is the inversion.

The person who is genuinely trying to be accountable becomes more accountable than the person who caused the harm.

And everyone around them can participate without necessarily realizing they are participating.

A therapist can misunderstand.

A recovery community can misunderstand.

A spiritual teacher can misunderstand.

An institution can misunderstand.

A legal system can misunderstand.

Friends can misunderstand.

Family can misunderstand.

Sometimes people have absorbed so much of the same conditioning that they instinctively reach for sympathy, neutrality, or “both sides” language before they ever ask the most basic question:

Who actually chose to do what?

And sometimes the people reinforcing the system are themselves benefiting from it.

This is how systems perpetuate themselves.

Not always through some grand conspiracy.

Often through thousands of ordinary people repeating ideas they have never examined.

Women are taught to doubt themselves.

Women are taught to over-explain.

Women are taught to accommodate.

Women are taught to forgive.

Women are taught to be compassionate toward the person who hurt them.

Women are taught to examine their own behavior before examining his.

Women are taught that anger is dangerous.

Women are taught that boundaries are aggression.

Women are taught that leaving is failure.

Women are taught that accountability is punishment.

Women are taught that being “high vibration” means being endlessly agreeable.

And then someone comes along and tells us that if something terrible happens, we must have attracted it.

No.

Your vibration did not rape you.

Your vibration did not punch you.

Your vibration did not molest your child.

Your vibration did not cheat on you.

Your vibration did not lie to you.

Your vibration did not steal from you.

Your vibration did not stab you.

Your vibration did not build an institution that protects the person who harmed you.

People make choices.

Systems make choices through the people operating them.

Institutions make decisions.

Governments make policies.

Judges make rulings.

Predators choose victims.

Abusers choose behaviors.

That does not mean victims have no agency.

It means their agency is not the only agency in the room.

And “just let it go” can be fucking absurd.

Let what go?

The trauma?

Maybe, eventually, through healing.

The obsession?

Maybe, through boundaries and recovery.

The desire to control another person?

Absolutely.

But the need for accountability?

No.

The need for justice?

No.

The need to finish a legal process that directly affects your life?

No.

The need to tell the truth about what happened?

No.

If someone steals from you, you do not manifest the theft away by thinking positively.

You document it.

You report it.

You pursue remedies.

You protect yourself.

You rebuild.

If someone harms you, healing does not require pretending they did not harm you.

And if a system fails you, “raise your vibration” is not an adequate substitute for reform.

Imagine telling men subjected to sexual violence, “You attracted this.”

We would immediately recognize the cruelty.

So why does the same logic become enlightened when directed at women?

And let us take the argument all the way to its logical conclusion.

If women collectively create their reality through vibration, and women have experienced centuries of sexual violence, legal inequality, economic dependence, domestic violence, reproductive control, discrimination, exploitation, and institutional neglect…

Fine.

Apparently women manifested all of it.

Ladies, we did it.

We manifested the patriarchy.

We manifested the laws.

We manifested the violence.

We manifested the rape.

We manifested the pornography.

We manifested the cheating.

We manifested the fists.

We manifested the knives.

We manifested the murdered women.

We manifested the abused children.

We manifested the institutions that failed us.

We manifested the men who refused accountability.

We manifested all of it.

Congratulations, ladies. Apparently our vibration is fucking spectacular.

Because if you are going to assign women metaphysical responsibility for everything that happens to them, then you have just assigned women responsibility for the entire structure of their own oppression.

And that is precisely how absurd the premise becomes when you follow it to its conclusion.

And maybe there is something useful hidden inside the joke.

Because if we are going to talk about vibration metaphorically, then perhaps we should talk about what happens when generations of women stop fawning.

What happens when the appeasement ends?

What happens when the freeze response becomes movement?

What happens when women stop confusing peace with silence?

What happens when anger is no longer treated as a spiritual failure?

Anger can be information.

It can tell you that something has crossed a line.

It can tell you that something is unjust.

It can tell you that something you have been tolerating is no longer tolerable.

The goal is not to live in rage forever.

The goal is not revenge.

The goal is not to become what hurt you.

The goal is to use the information.

Maybe the old spiritual language got one thing right:

We can change our patterns.

But changing our patterns does not mean accepting responsibility for another person’s violence.

It can mean changing the pattern of toleratingit.

Changing the pattern of explaining it away.

Changing the pattern of protecting the person who caused it.

Changing the pattern of abandoning ourselves to preserve somebody else’s comfort.

Changing the pattern of believing that our goodness requires our silence.

Changing the pattern of mistaking self-abandonment for love.

That is a vibration I can get behind.

And perhaps this is where the spiritual path becomes interesting again.

Not “I created everything that happened to me.”

But:

I get to decide what I do with what happened to me.

That is a radically different proposition.

It does not erase the past.

It does not absolve perpetrators.

It does not eliminate consequences.

It does not make victims responsible for their victimization.

It gives agency back to the person who actually has the right to have it:

the person living their life.

The rise of the sacred feminine, for me, is not about women becoming spiritually superior to men.

It is about restoring what was severed.

Intuition.

Discernment.

Embodied knowing.

Boundaries.

Anger.

Compassion without self-abandonment.

Love without submission.

Power without domination.

And yes, the inner masculine too—the part capable of action, protection, structure, decision, and consequence.

The Christ consciousness I am interested in is not passive suffering.

It is not endless forgiveness without accountability.

It is not smiling while somebody violates you because you are trying to remain “high vibration.”

It is the integration of compassion and truth.

Mercy and boundaries.

Love and justice.

The feminine does not need to become harder because men have been cruel.

But she may need to become much less willing to abandon herself.

And that will change things.

Women leaving.

Women divorcing.

Women telling the truth.

Women believing one another.

Women protecting their children.

Women refusing to normalize violence.

Women building financial independence.

Women walking away.

Women demanding accountability.

Women refusing to explain away what their bodies already know.

That is not a failure of vibration.

That is a change in pattern.

So don’t tell me to “let it go” when what you really mean is stop asking me to hold someone else accountable.

Don’t tell me that I manifested somebody else’s violence.

Don’t tell a child that their thoughts summoned their abuser.

Don’t tell a woman that her assault was evidence of her frequency.

Don’t turn personal responsibility into collective victim-blaming.

And don’t use spirituality to create a universe in which the perpetrator disappears and the victim becomes the defendant.

I am not interested in a spirituality that requires me to deny reality in order to preserve its philosophy.

I want spirituality with fucking boots on.

I want compassion that can look directly at suffering without inventing a metaphysical reason the victim caused it.

I want agency without blame.

I want responsibility without shame.

I want faith that does not require pretending predators are puppets controlled by their victims’ thoughts.

And I want every person who has ever been told they manifested their abuse to hear this clearly:

You did not need to vibrate correctly to deserve safety.

You did not need perfect thoughts to deserve dignity.

You did not summon somebody else’s violence.

Your healing belongs to you.

Their choices belong to them.

And when something is wrong, we do not have to “let it go” into the cosmic void.

We can fucking change it.

We can build better systems.

We can protect children.

We can believe victims.

We can demand accountability.

We can make laws.

We can challenge institutions.

We can leave dangerous situations.

We can seek help.

We can tell the truth.

We can stand beside one another.

The point of agency is not that everything is your fault.

The point of agency is that, wherever possible, you get to decide what you do next.

That is powerful enough.

We do not need to invent a universe where victims caused their suffering in order to believe that healing is possible.

We can believe in healing and still tell the fucking truth.

And if you want to call that a vibration?

Fine.

Let’s raise the fucking frequency.

#TheHonedCrone #SpiritualAbuse #VictimBlaming #PersonalAgency #EXIT369