What California’s New “Stealthing” Law Means For Women Around The World

We are fighting for control over our bodies. One law at a time.

By Oly AwambaPublished 3 years ago • 3 min read

Photo by Miriam Alonso from Pexels

I recently read that the governor of California, Gavin Newsom, has signed a law that makes stealthing a civil offense under state law.

The act is now classified as sexual battery.

The Australian Capital Territory amended crimes act has also made it illegal to remove a condom during sex or to not use a condom at all if condom use was previously agreed on.

Before now, I had not considered that there was a term for this.

Stealthing is the slang used to describe the non-consensual removal of a condom during sexual relations.

Civil rights lawyer Alexandra Brodsky published a paper in 2017 titled ‘Rape Adjacent’ — Imagining legal responses to non-consensual condom removal, in which she called for a more viable cause of action to better reflect the harms wrought by nonconsensual condom removal.

According to a 2018 survey of over 2000 patients at a sexual health clinic in Australia, 32% of the women and 19% of the men have been victims of stealthing at least once.

This seems to be a common occurrence, with more women as victims than men. We consider it immoral but never talk about it. The victims feel wronged but think it too little to be a big deal. They hurt from the aftermath, but cannot place a formal complaint. They are unprepared for the barrage of questions that will follow. And, it will be your word against theirs.

But you agreed to have sexual relations with the person
How will we know you are telling the truth?
Where is your evidence?

The anti-liberals will turn it into an avenue to bicker once more. 'The feminists are at it again.' Now they agree to have sex and dictate exactly how it should be had.'

But of course, the persons involved in the act must agree on how adventurous they would get. Sexual relations should never be pleasurable to one and detrimental to another. That is rape.

This law is against men who seek to make their partners pregnant without their consent — “After all, we are married and your body belongs to me.” To men and women who seek pleasure at the detriment of their partners’ health and wellbeing “I wanted to feel you better.”

This law will serve as a catalyst for victims to speak about it and even sue the perpetrators directly in a civil court.

As a Nigerian woman, the California law does not apply to me but it gives me hope.

That more and more conversations are centered on the importance of consent.
That women can now say NO if during the act they find out their partner is stealthing. And then sue.
That every other form of sexual misconduct is being spelled out in laws across countries.

I hope other countries follow these steps, to encourage victims to speak up.

You would be suprised at the number of persons who would tell you how stealthing has changed their lives. In form of an unplanned pregnancy. In form of sexually transmitted diseases.

And, I hope you listen. I hope you do not shame them for speaking about it. I hope you do not ask them What's the difference when you already consented?