The Truth Behind 'I Only Wear Makeup for Myself'

Many women insist they only wear makeup for themselves.

'Because it's fun.'

'It's a form of self-expression or even art.'

'It makes me feel good and confident.'

While all of the above are valid reasons for wearing it, we often don't realize why exactly it makes us feel good.

Lately, the cultural conversation surrounding makeup is all about how wearing it is a form of female 'empowerment' because it helps us feel fierce and independent and in control of our appearance.

And that, in theory, should have nothing to do with other people, in particular - men. But it does, even if we don't realize it.

The pandemic changed my relationship with makeup

I used to wear makeup practically every day since I was around 16. And I've always enjoyed the process; putting it on first thing in the morning was something I genuinely looked forward to.

I'm quite pale and blond, which means I have barely any eyelashes, eyebrows, or, to be fair - any color whatsoever on my face. If I don't put on any makeup, I look like a ghost of a 10-year old boy.

But since I've started working from home last year, I rarely use it. I still put on a full face for some occasions, mostly when I'm going out with friends, but it stopped being an everyday thing for me. I don't see the point in putting god knows how many layers of makeup to just sit at home or go for a coffee. Why would I do it? It would feel like I'm wasting my products.

And this made me realize it was never something I did just for myself. Yes, the process can be fun, and I enjoy it, but I ultimately put makeup on for other people to see it.

Because let's be honest, every woman on earth has been asked at one point or another if she's 'tired' or 'feels sick' on a day she chooses to go without makeup. And that's because makeup does make us look objectively better. After all, that's its whole point.

Society's default expectation is a painted face

Nearly every aspect of popular culture in our society is still catered to the heteronormative male gaze. And that includes beauty standards.

Somewhere along the way, men have decided that, in addition to long legs and big boobs, women should have blemish-free, glowing skin, full lashes, and pouty pink lips. Looking back at the evolution of female beauty standards, this decision seems like a relatively recent one.

Sure, the first use of makeup can be traced back to ancient Egypt, where it served as a marker of wealth believed to appeal to the gods. But back then, it wasn't worn exclusively by women; both women and men wore it.

Fast forward to the twentieth century and the Second World War, women wearing makeup has become a part of official government propaganda. At the time, society already had pretty rigid ideas about gender roles, so makeup wasn't just about looking good - it was at the core of what it meant to be a woman. And it was seen as an 'integral' part of winning the war.

It wasn't long before fashion magazines, and cosmetics companies caught up to the trend.

To be as attractive as we can is almost a civic duty; there are so many sad and ugly things in the world that I think women should say to themselves humbly, not with vanity. "I will try to be as pretty as I can, so that when people look at me, they will feel refreshed. I will make an effort to be easy on the eye". - excerpt from British Vogue, 1942

Even after the war was over, makeup continued to be an almost mandatory part of women's performance of femininity. And not surprisingly, the beauty industry turned into a gold mine.

No, wearing makeup isn't empowering

As much as we would like to deny it, we don't wear makeup only for ourselves. We also do it to make our experience within the patriarchy a more pleasant one - if we comply with its expectations for women, we're rewarded with compliments or better treatment.

That's because women are still largely valued by their looks, just as it was in the 'good old days'. And wearing makeup is almost an obligation for many of us. We are told to use it to look 'normal' or 'presentable'. But expecting a woman to wear makeup to look 'normal' is all the proof you need that it isn't an empowering act.

But expecting a woman to wear makeup to look 'normal' is all the proof you need that it isn't an empowering act.

And too often, the language used to sell beauty products is skewed around this false idea of empowerment, of taking control of your life by picking the right shade of blush. No, you're not making a statement and 'sticking it to the men' by covering your face up. That's just a manipulation technique used by the beauty industry to make a nice profit.

Sure, we can still decide not to wear makeup. Some people might even call us 'brave' for that. But going makeup-free shouldn't be perceived as brave.

It's human.

This is how we really look like.

We should be neither praised nor judged for that choice.

Let women do whatever they want

The bottom line is, whether a woman decides to wear makeup or not, she should not be shamed either way.

I don't think I'm alone in the opinion that sometimes getting ready and trying out new makeup looks can be an enjoyable experience. And many makeup looks we see these days, especially in high fashion magazines or on social media, are undoubtedly a form of art.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves and claim that putting on concealer every morning is art too. Or that it is 'empowering' in any way.

We often put makeup on to feel better, and honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. We shouldn't be ashamed for having insecurities and wanting to cover them up. We also shouldn't shame other women for wearing 'too much or 'too little' makeup.

However, it should be clear - particularly to younger women - that while we can wear makeup, we don't need it to look great or prove ourselves.

Because our value as a woman should not be determined by the condition of our skin, length of our lashes, or the number of men who find us pretty. Period.

This story was originally published on Medium.