The Third Date... #MeToo

My First Kiss

Two weeks before High School Graduation I finally got the courage to talk to the first guy I ever felt feelings for. I was warned by friends that I should be careful. I said I would take it slow and I did take it slow. After High School Graduation we discussed our first date. During this time I lived thirty minutes away from him and neither of us had our licenses but we were both 18. We were just late bloomers when it came to getting a license. For the first date we agreed on a place near his house so met each other there at the place. 

Date One we met at the Las Vegas Mini Gran Prix Family Fun Center. I’ve never been there before even if I lived in Las Vegas for two years already. We ate lunch and played the games and enjoyed the go-kart track. I agreed to go on a second date with him in the same area. That day the farthest we went was holding hands nothing else. Date Two my chaperone, my dog, and I picked him up and we were dropped off at the movie theater. My dog growled at him. He didn't like him. I just shrugged it off and my dog was very protective. AMC Rainbow Promenade 10 and watched Now You See Me 2. Keep in mind no first kiss yet we held hands once. We watched the movie and had a little run in with who he claimed was his ex-girlfriend who must have been a bit older. But I didn’t really think of it much because we didn’t actually speak. The end of that movie while waiting for our rides we shared a quick kiss. I like any other girl fell on cloud nine my heart fluttered and I was blushing. It was my first kiss. How else could I react? I was picked up but I never said to anyone that I had my first kiss. We planned out a third date which I didn’t realize would turn into a nightmare.

Our Third Date

We met at Apple Bee’s for lunch on our third date. It was only a three minute walk over to the theater. After eating lunch we walked over to the theater. We arrived just in time to get our tickets. We chose to watch Despicable Me Three since we ate before the movie we didn’t have any drinks or snacks. We just went inside and sat down at our seats. We were in the second row of the theater and the seats were recliners at AMB Promenade. It’s a kids movie so of course there are a lot of kids and parents around us. I didn’t mind, we sat back and watched the movie by the time the film started we were holding hands. We started kissing and I was nervous hoping that no one of the parents or kids would notice.

This happened during the whole movie. He asked me if it was okay to go further? But the thing is when he asked me he was becoming more rough kissing my lips and biting them that it was hard to say yes or no. I honestly don’t remember what my answer was to him. His hands moved to my chest and groped both of my breasts hard and was what I believe now is the term jiggling them. He finally stopped when we saw the ending of the movie. We could hear the kids cheering at the end of it but we had no idea what had happened. When the movie was done  and everyone was leaving I was just looking down not wanting to see the parents if they did see what we were doing.

We were the last to leave the theater. I went to the bathroom and walked straight into a stall. I had no idea I had tears falling down my face. I just sat down on the toilet whimpering and feeling how swore my chest was and how sore my lips were. I had no idea he could have been that rough. By the time I left the bathroom one of the parents from the movie looked at me and asked me if I was okay. I only said I was fine. I got a call from my ride they just arrived. I walked over to him, my face clean, no tears I redid my make up and just walked with him to the front of the theater when the car arrived. We said goodbye. I got into the car and just didn’t say much. My ride luckily had a lot of business calls on the ride home so I wasn’t asked about the movie. I just looked at my phone on the ride back and I didn’t answer any of his texts asking for another date. 

The Bruises

When I got home I just said I was tired but I would have dinner later. I went upstairs to my bathroom and closed the door. I was breathing hard by the time I got inside. I was whimpering again and felt the pain on my chest. I turned on Spotify on my phone and set my phone face down on the counter. I washed my face but I had to do it gently because my lips were hurting. Luckily there were no bruises on my lips. But then I removed my blouse and tank top and nothing was showing around my bra.

I froze feeling so nervous my hands were shaking but I removed my bra but I closed my eyes scared to even look. I dropped my bra and counted to three. I remember when counting to three I was so scared and I was breathing so hard I felt like my throat was so tight and tears were falling down my face. I finally opened my eyes when my phone chimed the Facebook messenger chime. I had looked at my phone too scared to look at the mirror. I finally bit my tongue lightly and looked at myself in the mirror. There were bruises on the sides of both of my breasts. Finger shaped bruises that were purple as in dark purple. I felt tears fall down my face again. I heard my phone chime so I grabbed it and saw his message. I took a picture of the bruises but I covered anything else and sent it to him with anger.

I remember telling him there will not be any other dates that if he truly treats women like this then he doesn’t deserve me or anyone else. He responded saying he was sorry but it wasn't meaningful I’m sorry like any text it was nothing but words. I deleted the photos and blocked him from my life before I took a shower attempting to clean off any trace of him from my body. I cried in the shower for so long. I finally got out and went to my room. I dried myself off and dressed into sweats and a t-shirt. I grabbed scissors and used those scissors to cut the clothes I wore that day to make it seem like I couldn’t wear them anymore. I threw them away and just texted my mom that I wasn’t hungry. I cried into my pillow that night when my mom checked on me I was pretending to sleep.

I was exhausted and so scared I could have told my mom when she checked on me what happened. But I remembered how ashamed I was, how I didn’t believe it was sexual assault I wasn’t raped. So would it even count? I was too afraid and ashamed to tell my mom it would be to tell my mom’s boyfriend who I didn’t want to know we didn’t get along that well. Then after that was to tell the police to let them take pictures of my bruises in order to have proof and I was too scared off it. I started work a few weeks later and just forced myself to forget about it. But I had nightmares about it, the bruises lasted for what felt like forever for me.

When I was done with work I started going to college and I never saw him again until my senior year at College of Southern Nevada. I didn’t realize it was him until my last day with exams so I didn’t even acknowledge him and I don’t believe he ever recognized me.  But I had more things to worry about In the last five months of senior year my mom’s boyfriend had gone to the hospital and was in critical condition the last month of school before exams he passed away. I was in mourning when it came to that time. Nothing was more important than passing my exams and mourning. By then I had pushed away the nightmares and the memory of what happened deep into my self conscious. 

But I remember over the years I was purposely doing this to my skin on my chest to create scars. Whenever there was some kind of pimple there I would purposely make it a mess because sometimes I still saw myself disgusting and dirty. I stopped really taking care of myself like putting enough lotion on my arms and legs and not bothering keeping my hair nice and clean. Because I was so afraid one day it all changed I went on tinder and found someone. My second boyfriend but that didn’t last long but he never tried anything. I had warned him what happened and he respected those wishes we never once did anything besides kiss. But school got in-between us so we chose to break up. 

Five Years Later…. I told my closest Friends and my Mom 

We are all in quarantine now and there’s a lot of victims of sexual assault speaking up and telling their stories. I now have just found out that what had happened to me was considered sexual assault. I found that out by reading other victim’s stories and I began to remember again what had happened and how awful I felt then and how awful I felt now. For the past two weeks I began to have nightmares and I woke up freaking out. My mom would ask me did I remembered what it was and I answered no but I remembered. On July 15, 2020 I was watching a youtuber’s vlog and they admitted that they were a victim of sexual assault. I started crying so much I ran upstairs to avoid telling my mom. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her or not but it was getting to me. My best friend finally convinced me to tell her I had only told my best friend recently. I told my mom she was only upset that I didn’t tell her when it happened so we could have reported it.

I told her I was ashamed and scared to tell her boyfriend which she understood and would have still wanted me to tell her so we could have reported it with the evidence and gave him a record. But she was glad that I told him to stay away from me and I haven’t contacted him since. I also told my closest friends we are like sisters and somehow I knew they knew something was up with me but that I didn’t want to tell them at all. I lifted a weight off my chest and I wanted to express my store and how I will live with regret for not reporting it. But now during this time I feel a lot stronger and I don’t see myself as that dirty person anymore. I will have to tell it to my future partner but at least I know now I shouldn’t be ashamed because he was a monster and I was a victim and I hope that no one else has fallen victim to him.

My Name is Janelle Thompson and I survived and you will too.