The Man I Reported for Harassment Approached Me in the Grocery Store

I was putting something into my shopping cart when I noticed someone standing close to me. He aggressively pointed the toilet paper he was holding directly at my face. I glanced up to see a man I had hoped to never see again. “Stop talking shit,” came his raspy, and somewhat feminine voice.

My heart was racing in my chest as he walked away with a huge smile on his face. I felt like I would throw up, and my hands would have been shaking if they weren’t holding the basket. I wanted to leave, but my feet felt heavy as I walked in the opposite direction of him. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Luckily, I spotted him checking out and leaving the store.

The encounter must have taken place in less than a minute, but it left me shaken up for the rest of the day. Why had he approached me? I had reported him for harassment over a year ago, but we hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in over a year.

Admittedly, we hadn’t parted on the best terms. What started out as a budding friendship began making me feel uncomfortable. The conversations were often steered towards things I rarely discussed with my other male friends. When I confided in others, they told me he probably liked me and that what he was doing was sexual harassment. I asked for him to be kept separate from me, and eventually, I ended up reporting him to management. They did nothing about it, and instead accused me of leading him on.

I wanted to let the incident go, but I couldn’t. What if he were to approach me again? What if he didn’t stop at just approaching me, but decided to physically harm me?

I checked my blocked messages and saw one from him on September 29th that said something about us both knowing the truth, and if I kept it up, he would be forced to act. I didn’t know what he was talking about but thought maybe someone at my former workplace had tried to stir up something.

I sent him a polite message asking him to never approach me again. He responded by demanding that I delete Reddit posts I’d made about him and articles I’d written about him. I didn’t remember writing any posts about him and asked him to point out which ones, but he either couldn’t or refused to, so I believe he confused something that I wrote about a friend or an ex about him.

I attempted to have a calm conversation with him, explaining to him that there was no way anyone could identify him from my articles or posts, but he was acting like a child whose mother had denied him a candy bar at the grocery store. He began bashing my looks and telling me I lied about him harassing me because there was no way he’d ever be attracted to a fat girl.

He claimed that he’d only been trying to treat me as a person, and I’d mistaken it for him ‘leading me on’. He informed me that he thought I was ugly and stupid and that it upset him that I thought I was smarter than him. He also told me I’d attempted to destroy him and that he’d only wanted another person to play his pirate game with.

I had always wondered what would happen if someone I’d written about stumbled upon my writing. I knew seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes wasn’t always glamourous, so I thought maybe they’d be upset for a few minutes. I never imagined myself having a pointless conversation with a man I’d repeatedly asked to leave me alone.

I explained to him that the articles were written from my point of view and that I was truly terrified of him when I was working with him. I even apologized for the way things had turned out and assured him it was all in the past.

My words did nothing to stop his rant. He referred to me as ‘fatty’ and asked me why I’d gained weight. I didn’t bother to defend myself, as I wanted the conversation to be over as soon as possible. He continued his childlike rant by telling me I’d created all the problems in the world.

I asked him again not to approach me, and he mentioned my new workplace by name. He told me he planned to swing by there sometime. I asked him politely not to and to leave me alone.

I’m not sure if he plans to stop by my workplace, but I have explained the situation to some of my coworkers, including the management team. I truly hope that I never see him again, but I will not allow him or anyone else to dictate what I can and cannot write about. I am still trying to figure out what to do about the situation, but have reached out to friends and family for advice.

Originally Published On Medium