My Hobbies Are Personal

My hobbies are deeply personal; formed from the depths of who I once was, who I now am, and tightly gripped to who I will become.

Who I once was: a child yearning to create, trying absolutely everything that came to mind. Writing stories, capturing moments through photography, painting pictures, learning to play the piano and the violin, designing fashion. I desperately wanted to be privy to the world of creativity. Seemingly outside of my grasp, this world I begged to be a part of was so distant, unattainable, and for the others. "Nothing comes naturally to you. If you are a creative person, everything must come naturally." That is what my subconscious would tell me each time I could not achieve my creative goals. Do I dare believe this voice that is in my head? For a while, I did believe, "I am not a creative person, I just have creative tendencies." I truly believed this with my entire being.

Who I once was: a first-year university student, declaring a creative degree. Choosing to study communications just made sense to me. "I communicate well with others, so this is a smart path for me to take, right?" Choosing to study communications with an emphasis in Film and Television... "this is better than the other options that clearly do not speak to you. You are choosing this path not because you are creative, but because film sounds more interesting than Journalism and PR to you." It was not until I finished my first year of undergrad that my degree made sense to me. It was not until my senior year of undergrad that I accepted that I was a creative person. And it was not until six months ago that I officially called myself an artist out loud.

Who I am now: a creative person, with a creative mind and creative goals. I have always been a creative person it just took a quarter of a century for me to finally believe that about myself. And I realized a year ago that my love for clothing was also a love for fashion design and that it has always been in the back of my mind begging to be in the forefront. I have been sewing and designing for two and a half years and every step of the way I have been more interested in creating my own designs and making them a reality.

I spend all of my spare time creating or thinking about creating. Sitting down at my machine, creating something with my own two hands and with my own mind, still brings me immense joy even after two and a half years, and not much else has been able to top that joy.

These last two and half years have taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined. I began sewing as a hobby and it has quickly morphed into being a major part of my lifestyle. I have spent years trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be and I can finally say that I am becoming that person; I can finally say that I know who I am and who I want to be. My sewing hobby has opened an entirely new world of creativity for me. I am now doing things I never thought I was good at; I am drawing and designing and I am getting better every day. I am finally creating and being creative and I am making strides in my life to keep going forward with my creativity.

Who I will become: my love for fashion and designing has opened doors in my mind I never realized wanted to be opened. After two and a half years of sewing, I have made the exciting decision to move abroad to study Fashion Design at a university in Spain. I have been accepted and am currently working on the final steps to begin this new chapter of my life this Fall. The young girl I once was would be proud of who I am. The woman I am today is beyond elated to see how far I had to go to get to where I am now. And I cannot wait to see who I will be a year and 10 years from now.